The Whispering Cue

I know I have told you this umpteen times. 

through those hugs, those embraces

what I just give unrestricted until it primes.

I've conveyed it through 

those uncountable stray kisses.

I've conveyed it through 

the way I snuggle against you 

and sleep and through the way I hold you

close to my heart, 

to let you hear my heartbeats.

Still I am in doubt if you got the cue 

Reviews

[Lily Mae]

Sometimes peoples walls of pain are up so high they can experience the moment but not let it sink in deeply.. This shows the sadness of the one willing and showering love and attention on that very wall.. Nicely written..xo

[AK]

I would usually refrain from giving such a critical review, but die to the fact that you explicitly asked for it, here it goes-

1. The first thing I observed when I read the poem was the punctuation. I personally feel you could use punctuation to your benefit in order to enhance the flow of your poem. Try using periods(which you might know as a 'full stop'), commas, semi colons, exclamation marks and question marks whenever necessary. And your poem could probably sound and look much better! Here's a link for where you might want to use which punctuation mark-http://www.rogerdarlington.me.uk/punctuation.html

2. In poetry, it is not always necessary to maintain the same word syntax; it can be tweaked around. That is to say, instead of saying-
"I know I have told you this umpteen times."
You could say
"Umpteen times to you I've told,"
But please note that this is not necessary, and can merely be used to make your words sound more poetic.

3. Another thing I noticed was the rhyming scheme. Poetry of course is a free subject and practically anything can be considered as a poem. But sometimes, a poet might want to use a rhyming scheme to add a beat and give an extra whiff of glitter to the poem. This poem follows the scheme-
a,b,a
a,b,a,a,a,c,d,a
I found the scheme quite out of the box:)

4. The syllable scheme- By counting the syllables on each line you can enhance the quality of your poem....

I guess I have nothing else to say, and I'm sorry if I've gone overboard. Keep writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime need more then whispers. I did like the feel and the desire of this amazing poem. Strong description allow the reader to fall into the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[AK]

Nice poem! I loved your choice of words, keep writing!