The Unseen Hand

An attempt to describe a state of confusions.

Wherever I see, 

Just crowds and crowds,

all around

but not a single man

to find

I am on a mountain top

the sky far far away

billowing clouds surround me

Not a single drop of rain

Hopes are doomed to vain?

I just can not believe 

the river is flowing though

its natural way

An unseen force grips

and brings all to a sway.

Reviews

[Umar Hassan]

The first and second stanza describe apparent contradictions that confuse the observer who regains or resolves them by observing the wisdom of a river. If you harmonize the persons in the stanzas from you, I, I, to I, I, I the poem's point of view will be strengthened. Repeating nouns (crowds and crowds, far(?), far) works best to establish a beat or rhythm. Does it work here? I'm a stickler for spelling; its a good obsession for writers.

[Seshat Nidaba]

This felt distinctively existential to me.

[Emily B]

this is wonderfully observant

[biggerthenu]

WONDERFUL PIECE I REALLY LIKE THIS NICE JOB HE'S THE KING OF ALL THINGS WE ONLY KNOW THINGS IN PART

[kymee]

Great poem. can not is one word. To me I would consider t his a deep poem, one even I don't understand that well. I need to read is a few times. It's not you or you're poem its me.

[Umar Hassan]

I forgot to mention that I really liked the structure and meaning!

[Sherwette]

There is always hope ;)
"An unseen force grips and brings all to a sway." I loved that part

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

strong descriptives bring the scenery to vivid~captivating lie~

[Daytonight]

You have used such lovely imagery here. Makes for a very nice read. Enjoyed it. Keep on penning.

[Ripple of Aqua]

You make me feel a unison of tranquility and aw. Nice work.