Prologue

Prologue

                As I looked around, all I saw was strange buildings. People were talking on strange handheld mechanisms. Women were even wearing men’s clothing! Where was I? Whatever I had come through placed me here, in this foreign world... Jace was around here somewhere, I just knew it.  I would kill him for the sake of my family. The family he slaughtered mercilessly, without regret, without looking back. I would do the same to him, even if it took me sacrificing myself- My family was worth it.

                My mind went back to them as I remembered a time when I was happy, before everything I ever cared about was taken from me…

Reviews

[Nova]

Wow, this is so interesting! I hope you will continue this story.

[Erin]

"I would do the same to him, even if it took me sacrificing myself- My family was worth it."
You have three options to fix this sentence -- either you leave the dash and uncapitilize the m in my, put a colon in place of the dash and leave the "my" capitilized, or put a period in place of the dash and leave the "my" capitilized.
Other than that, I didn't see any grammar mistakes. I think that this has a lotta potential and it could be really good. It's kind of a mix between a lotta stories I can think of from the top of my head (The Time Machine being the first one) and I think that it might be a really good sci-fi/fantasy story, maybe a drama, hopefully no romance, because that would be weird. My mind is running with this, with ideas and predictions, which is what a prologue is made for, except I'm kinda blurry about what the entirety of the book will be about -- her past before Jace kills her family, or her actual killing of Jace, or both? But I think that was your point of it...keeping the mind running with it. It has potential. Don't waste it.
PBP

[Cassiopia Summers]

I do believe this is a great start. I am curious to read more, you have defnitely wrote a catchy prologue.

[Wolf]

Im wating for the rest i would really like to read the rest good write my friend 100/100

[Steve]

WEll i am looking forward to more.....

Not to pressure you....but you are a good writer and this seems like a nice idea....

[luciddreamer]

I like it..patiently waiting for more :)
Peace

[Coyote Poetry]

A very strong start to the story. You create reason and purpose for the character. I like the beginning description. Could be a very good story.
Coyote

[Kelley]

This is a great start to a book and it sounds very interesting.
Kind of reminds me of that movie where Jane Austin went to the future or someone went into her book. Anyway I wish you the best of luck writing it.

Kelley

[My Fair Lady]

Good start... waiting for more.

[Bridget Mcmaken]

nice way to start out a book. I love it. Cant wait to read this.