My Curse

My Curse

A Poem by Forever Mine
"

My heart cant help

"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The mists swirl around my feet

                Creating an unearthly atmosphere

                                The swing creeks to and fro

As I sit on the swing

                My Feathers touch the ground

                                As I move back and forth

The air is thick and cold

                My dress is in shreds

                                From where I fell

My hair softly touching the feathers

                Feathers as soft as a rose

                                The color of a lily

My skin is fair

                My eyes are aqua

                                My hair is black

Everything around me is dead

                This is my curse

                                My punishment

My life here is never ending

                This is what I fell too

                                My heart can’t save me now

Help me someone

                Save me from this desolate place

                               Rescue me from this prison...

Rescue me from this place called Earth.

© 2010 Forever Mine


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Reviews

wow so vivid...I could see the desperate beauty in the dark
Peace
Robin

Posted 14 Years Ago


nice vision of hell on earth, it was dream like, and left me cold

Posted 14 Years Ago


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Bee
a fallen person, eh?
I like this so much. I like you make earth kinda the antagonist here. It shows how imperfect our world is. well done.

Posted 14 Years Ago


The lines rocking back and forth gently is very creative. I don't know if I want to save you from your place on earth. I think I would rather join you. It seems so peaceful and serene to me with the feathers and the light sway of the swing and swirling mist. Maybe I'm just kooky, but this makes me envy the girl on the swing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


wonderful :)


Posted 14 Years Ago


Be careful as some parts seem a bit repetitive, but overall I love the idea. A fallen angel who is put on earth and sees all of the ugly, comparing it to heaven. I think you are capable of taking this a little further and tightening up a few spots that could really bring this story to life. I would love to see an updated version. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Beautiful write! Fabulous job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very good imagery. This is similar to your other recent works. (:

Posted 14 Years Ago


good imagery.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I love how your image of everything but you seems black and white. You are the only color. Nice. The feelins are universal. Everyone has probably felt that way at one time or another. A few small typos - desolate and creating AN unearthly...
Nicely painted. And if you still feel like that then here - (hugs)

Posted 14 Years Ago



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891 Views
37 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on September 9, 2010
Last Updated on September 9, 2010

Author

Forever Mine
Forever Mine

Tahlequah, OK



About
I'm Katie, i'm 18, and a senior in high school. I'm also happily engaged to my bf of two years. I love writing poetry, and i'm currently working on my book "Fall From Time", the prologue is posted rig.. more..

Writing
Prologue Prologue

A Chapter by Forever Mine



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