02.

Sadie tries to save me for last when telling everyone about her big party, but I’ve already heard it all. My phone blinks with text notifications about every five minutes, and Audrey, who is excited she’s actually been invited, begs me to go shopping with her.

Riley mentions the party to me in the back of his BMW. The snow is piling up outside but I still refuse to ask him to come into my house. The scene in the living room hasn’t been touched, as if Dad cleans it up it means that Mom is actually not coming back. I’ve got a backbreaking deal of homework to muster through, my period, and work, so I refuse to be housekeeper too, and Adam has decided he’s going to be MIA until everything cools down.

The Wild Family way is to just pretend nothing’s wrong.

Riley’s hands are underneath my bra and I feel too bad to ask him to stop. He’s already driven me home from our student council meeting, even after I’ve been ignoring his requests to hang out. I snap at him that, unlike the rest of the kids at school, I have a job and have to maintain a scholarship and my number one spot in our class - that always pisses him off, as he’s been trying to beat me out since the day I came to school - so I don’t always have time to dry hump him.

“Are you going to Sadie’s thing on Saturday?” he asks.

His freezing cold hands are distracting me and my n*****s and I try not to squirm. “I don’t know. I guess.”

“Everyone’s going to be there.”

“Mmhm.”

“And, since we haven’t gotten much alone time, I was thinking...”

I pull away from him. “You want me to do it with you at a crowded party where everyone from school is going to be?”

“Isn’t that what parties are for? Hooking up?” he asks, hopefully. He seriously would do it, right here, right now, in my driveway with the neighbor kids smoking cigarettes on their front porch and my father right inside, ready to beat the poor kid to death that ruins his daughter’s virtue. 

There was a time when what he said was true, but that was then and this is now and I can’t go back to the way things used to be.

“If that’s what you think, why don’t you go find someoneelse  there to hook up with?” I grab my bag and speed out the backdoor.

When I’m inside, I hear his car backing out of the driveway, and I realize that my uniform shirt is unbuttoned and my bra is still unhooked. Luckily, my father is in his room with the door shut so I head into my bedroom. 

In the middle of angry calculus and ignoring pleading texts from Riley, I hear it. the knocking of the headboard against the wall next to mine. The springs in the mattress going up and down. The heavy breathing and stomachs slapping against each other.

My dad is doing someone in the next room.

Disgusted, I gather my things and hurry out as quickly as possible.

I’m still in my wool skirt and thick tights from school, so I forgo the bike and decide to head to Rivertown, despite the cold snow. 

Rivertown is where most of the kids who go to University of Easton live and hang out. Only five years ago did the students start trickling out into Briar Park to rent out single family homes with their friends. Most of the families that used to live in Briar Park have moved out or opted to rent their homes out, wanting to be far away from the parties and noise. We stay because my dad likes to live vicariously through the youths around him and the rent is cheap. The neighbors love when Nathan Wild shows up at their parties with a bottle of Jack Daniels and crazy stories to tell.

I bypass Crazy Tacos, the cheapest bar around with the best burritos, Dive Bar, a bro bar that never cards but I wouldn’t be caught dead in there, and head to Neon Parlor, this swanky bar where all the hipsters hang out. 

I’m pulling my fake ID out of my bag as I walk up to the door, but I see a familiar face at the podium. 

His blonde brows furrow and he’s taken back at the sight of me, private school uniform, hair damp from the snow, the leather Louis Vuitton messenger bag my grandmother insisted on getting me when I was accepted into Cedar Hill. Its totally fake but she tells me she just got a really good price for it.

“Evie?” Spencer finally says.

I haven’t so much as spoken to anyone from Rivertown or Briar Park since the last day of sophomore year. I’d spent all summer attending intensive workshops that the student counselor at Cedar Hill insisted would prepare me for going from the s**t metro public schools to a private one. While everyone I’d clung to and partied my way through eighth, ninth, and tenth grades with hit the bong and did kegstands all summer, I was ripping my hair out, biting my nails to the cuticles and wondering how I ever got into CHP in the first place.

Spencer was twenty-one, and he’d lived at the famously dubbed, Never Never Land House for three years. It was the house to go for ridiculous parties and awesome shows. Johnny had been a part of The Lost Boys before being whisked off to rural Wisconsin. He’d been their lead singer and guitar, the pretty face of the local music scene. Spencer was the drummer and we’d fooled around, despite our four year age difference, more times than I’d like to admit. 

Which, is why I considered backing out of the bar and running straight home. But, if it was this or back home where my father was getting dirty sex from a barfly, I’d opt for this.

“Spencer. Hey.”

“I haven’t seen you around in like, nine months. What’s up?” he moves around the podium to give me a hug, a thick book falling off of his lap. The place was completely dead, being a Wednesday night in the middle of a mini snowstorm. 

I hug him back, feeling like I’m hugging a stranger. A year ago we’d been sweating in between his sheets and now I just felt weird. 

“Yeah, I’ve been going to Cedar Hill. Its-”

“A crazy good private school where you’ve been partying it up with all the rich boys, I’m assuming?” he grins widely at me and I lean against the podium to steady myself. 

“Something like that.”

“Well, you look really good. Your hair is longer.”

“Yeah.”

“I...uh...heard about your mom.”

Now I’m trying hard to breathe. “What?”

“Johnny told me. He obviously said not to spread it around or anything. He just asked me to look after you, make sure you’re okay,” Spencer tells me. Of course Johnny did that. Of course. “I told him that you hadn’t been around in months, which completely surprised him.”

Its true that I didn’t lead on to Johnny in our weekly phone calls or our nighttime texts ritual about my quick exit from our old crowd. I let him assume I was still hanging out with everyone. Johnny would be so disappointed in me if he knew how much of my old life I’d dropped in order to fake it at my new school. 

“But, I’ve talked to your brother a bit. He says that you’re doing okay, super focused at school.”

F*****g Adam. When we were younger, Adam, Johnny, and I were inseparable. During middle and high school, he’d attend the same parties as us, but while Johnny and I were in the center of everything, doing kegstands and body shots, the first ones to dance at every party, Adam was in the basement with the burnouts, smoking weed until he was stupid. And, when my former best friend Dalle finally sank her claws into him, he had no interest in what Johnny and I were up to anymore. 

He stopped by the house once in awhile to pick up clothes or raid our fridge, but mostly he stayed at Dalle’s, where her family was nice and normal and let him practically live there.

“Yeah. I’m number one in my class,” I say, which makes me sound like a snot, but Spencer just nods and tells me that I’ve always been really smart, good for me.

We say our awkward goodbyes. I head to the bar, where the cute bartender eyes up my naughty school girl fantasy inducing outfit and makes my whiskey sour extra strong.

I wait for the light rail every day at the University stop along with Andy McKinley, who lives in Rivertown, one of the four other scholarship kids.

Andy is a new addition to The Lost Boys, after skeezy Caleb up and quit, being offered a spot to play in Acoustic Arson, the infamous Ben Liner’s up and coming rock band.

Johnny talks about all this over the phone as if I know what he’s talking about, like I hang out with all these people on a regular basis. I don’t really know Andy, though. He moved to Rivertown from the burbs after his parents divorced this summer, when I had no time to party it up with the old crew, but I’m sure he knows everything about me. 

He’s quiet and artsy, but even Sadie swoons a bit when she sees him, and she’s usually only into guys that will further her reputation. There’s something about his unruly dark brown hair, fraying sweaters, and thick framed glasses he wears while pouring over projects in the art wing that really gets all the girls’ juices flowing. 

He’s at Cedar Hill not because he’s smart - he’s average, number 37 in our class - but because he makes CHP look good through his numerous art trophies and awards, and they are desperately trying to prove they’re not just some average private school where anyone with money can pay to get in.

One of the reasons I was sought out; the first in my family to make it past ninth grade, a perfect GPA, a tragic living situation. 

Sadie and Amie, B***h Twins always attached at the hip, corner me in the girls’ locker room after Indoor Raquet Sports.

While every other subject taught at Cedar is intensive, difficult, and nearly college level, gym classes are just a joke. We’re required to take them through the state, but even the gym teachers know not to make the girls run too hard, as they may get sweaty and ruin their makeup, or not to make the all state football and tennis players do anything that may jeopardize their season.

Gym classes are just an excuse to stand around and talk s**t about everyone else while getting an easy A. Thus, our group always tries to persuade our counselors to give us these classes together, and due to the amount of money most of the kids’ parents donate to the school, we get our way.

“Something’s up,” Sadie says, pointing a perfectly pink manicured nail at me. “You have been, like, super weird lately.”

“Super weird,” Amie echoes. 

“Riley practically shrivels when you come around, and I’m not talking about his dick,” Sadie tells me. I open my mouth to protest her talking about my boyfriend’s genitals, but she puts her hand up. “Look, I know you guys lost your V-Cards to each other, everyone does. Amie and I are just concerned that its put a halt in the perfect couple’s relationship.”

Like hell, they’re concerned. Sadie’s been in love with Riley practically since birth; they’ve lived next to each other since they were five, and their mothers are best friends. His mother would love for Riley to go out with a girl like Sadie instead of some scholarship kid. 

“Everything’s fine,” I roll my eyes. “And, until you can actually keep a boy, don’t try to tell me anything about my relationship.”

Sadie’s face grows red underneath her fake winter tan. “Riley’s one of my best friends,” she says, which makes Amie’s face fall. She’d like it if she were Sadie’s only friend. “And, you...well, we’re seen together. I would hate to ruin the dynamics of the group, you know?”

We’re the group that always shows up at parties together, looking bored until someone hands us a drink. We eat lunch at the center table in the cafeteria, making sure everyone can see us talking and laughing and having a good time. We’re all the presidents and captains of the most important clubs and sports.

“We have Calc together next period. I’ll, like, hold his books on the way to class or something. Will that make you happy?”

Sadie nods in approval and I’m allowed to leave. 

Riley seems relieved when I walk up to him in the hallway and slide my hand into his. I even give him a big kiss on the lips even though I’ve been anti PDA for months. He even offers me a ride home even though he has to be back at school by four for Spanish Club.

As we near my house, I sidle up next to him and kiss his neck deeply, suddenly feeling bad for the emotional mind f*****g I’ve been doing to him lately. If I have sex with him tonight, maybe he’ll feel better about all this. Maybe he won’t notice how distant I’ve been. Maybe-

Riley is nearly unbuttoning his pants as he hurriedly pulls into the driveway, but I’m too distracted by the rusty old truck next to my house. My fingers start to shake and my stomach does flip flops.

Is that...? No, there’s no way, he’s in Wisconsin. He’s-

Smoking a cigarette with my dad on the front porch.

I throw the door open, not even bothering to grab my bag or shut it, and am sliding across the icy yard and into the arms of the best friend I haven’t seen in over a year. 

“Holy s**t, Eves, you made me burn myself!” he cries, but he’s laughing and hugging me back, teasing me because my face is all of a sudden a faucet of tears. 

“What the f**k are you doing back?”

“Spencer called and I-”

“This about Acoustic-”

“Yeah, that shithead Ben Liner. Stole Davis away too.”

I stare at him, wiping the frozen tears off my face. “You’re back to stay?”

“I’m back to stay,” he grins. We hug so hard I can barely breathe. I feel happier than I have for the first time since Johnny left. I feel more whole.

We both jump when we hear a throat being cleared from behind us. I completely forgot about Riley for about three minutes. Completely forgot.

Riley stares at me for about thirty seconds before finally offering Johnny his hand. “Hi, I’m Riley.”

Johnny looks at him, completely amused. “Johnny Rush.”

The two look at me, biting my fingernails to the bone. 

Before this moment, neither knew the other existed. 

I really just want to spend hours with Johnny alone, rehashing all of our favorite memories; walking down to our bridge even though its about ten degrees outside, smoking an entire pack of cigarettes while downing espressos at Wake and Bakes. 

Now, I’m too guilt tripped to not invite Riley inside with us, where I make formal introductions.

“Riley and I - uh - have been dating since I started at Cedar,” I say, not able to look at either of them but knowing Riley is staring Johnny down while Johnny continues to appear amused by all of this. “Johnny has been my best friend since we were born. He lived next door until he moved away to his grandparents’ the December before last.”

“Our dads played in WildChild together,” Johnny grins again, making sure Riley notices just how charming and attractive he is. Johnny and I have never been anything but friends, but I know he’s taking great pleasure in the jealousy that is steaming off of my boyfriend. 

Johnny’s always been a pretty boy; perfect, wavy light brown hair he’s grown past his shoulders, usually covered by a slouchy black beanie. His soft, pretty lips always got him out of any trouble or into any girls’ pants with his smile. He wears jeans tighter than I do, muddy Chucks, and tight v-neck shirts. He’s got tattoos all over his arms and is one of the most charismatic people you will ever meet.

They both turn to look at me as if to say, Why don’t I know about this super important person in your life?

Really, I’d meant to tell Johnny about Riley, but that would mean telling him about Cedar Hills Evie, and I know just how disappointed in me he would be. When we both attended the same high school, it didn’t matter if we were popular or well liked because we had each other and we had The Lost Boys. I was myself around Johnny; that’s the only me he knows of and I barely know how to be that way anymore. I’d have to tell him about the fake friends and being co-captain of the cheer squad, know that he’s cringing when I dumped all of our friends behind for kids with trust funds and designer purses. 

And, to Riley it was the same. He didn’t know about Party Girl Evie. He didn’t know about Boy Crazy Evie. I let him believe I was a virgin who could barely drink a weak cocktail at parties. 

The two lives I’d spent the past couple of months trying to keep apart had suddenly clashed in the worst way.

I eye the clock, cracked from one too many doors being slammed in anger, on the living room wall. “Riley...don’t you have to go?”

He finally peels his eyes away from Johnny, who I feel he’s been staring down for hours, and sighs. “Yeah. I’d skip entirely today but this meeting is about the trip we’re taking in June.”

I force a smile and rub his knee. “Exactly. You’re so excited for it.”

“Trip?” Johnny interrupts.

“Yeah, we’re going to Spain for a month,” Riley explains. “I’m president of the Spanish Club.”

Oh, god, Johnny, don’t smirk...don’t smirk.

I look over and he’s biting his lip to keep from laughing. He stands up and offers his hand to Riley. “It was good to meet you. I promise I’ll take good care of our girl.”

I pull Riley out the door before his hands can even make the fists I know he wants to punch Johnny in the face with.

“He’s just kidding, I swear,” I tell Riley as I retrieve my bag from his car. “You don’t know him, he’s got a ridiculous sense of humor.”

“No, you’re right, I don’t know him,” my boyfriend glares as he slides into the car. I sigh and lean over to kiss him through his window.

“Hey...you, me, the party Saturday. How about we give this whole sleeping together thing another try,” I try to smile seductively but inside I’m cringing. Old Evie would use sex to get her way. New Evie is ashamed. 

He finally nods and kisses me back.