Breaking of the Heart

I cry,

every time he hits me,

yet I still love him,

even when he breaks my heart.

 

I hide,

whenever I do something wrong,

yet I still trust him,

even when he breaks my heart.

 

I hurt,

when he calls me names,

yet I still believe him,

even when he breaks my heart.

 

I wish,

for a second chance,

for a real love,

because I won't let him break me anymore.

 

Reviews

[Trigorin]

I really like what you've done with the first line of each stanza. It makes the piece more cohesive and it definitely helps the flow. I do question the repetition of the last line of each stanza, however, as it seems to me that the repeating of it somewhat weakens its power, but it's your poem. You have a good concept and you've executed it fairly well.

[jay-lyse]

I liked the repetitive lines, and I also liked how raw and too the point it was. My poems always seem to stretch, I can never reach soo deep so soon. My favorite line is the last one. After loving him so deeply and so long you finally reached your breaking point, your finally standing up and walking away ... great write =)

[Hamkar]

The flow is repeated throughout and is very well done. I love the last stanza, especially the last line, 'because I won't let him break me anymore'.

[MissWordSmith]

love it. love how it went from timid to quietly powerful. however, it doesn't really apply to the concept in my contest Poetry To You. :p
A great write, nevertheless.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is amazing, i can relate

[Corvus]

Beautiful, touching and so true. Has a nice ending, and the flow is amazing. Good job. You really capture the reader in a simple yet elegant way.

[The Analog Kid]

Nice rhythm with the repeated first lines on the stanzas. Finally, at the end, she breaks away! Short and direct.

Write on,

Patrick

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

the abused woman, so sad. Great Job!

[Eloise]

This makes me just want to hug you till the pain goes away, *sigh* If only all of life's problems could be solved with hugs.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is the typical feeling of every abuse victim; staying because they think someone will "change" or they "love" them or that they hope their "love" can "change" them....I say "change loves" and "love the change"! In short; (life's just too damn short to be around people that treat you bad) I like the ending!