Ten Commandments. (If you like Monty Python)

The Ten Commandments if written from Monty Pythons Holy Grail

1. Thou shall create no graven image of horrendous rabbits. ('You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above')

2. Thou shall not murder, but cutting of one's legs and arms is not considered murder, but simply a flesh wound. ('You shall not murder.')

3. Remember the wagon day, and keep it holy, for thou shalt only bring out thy mother and father if thy mother and father shalt actually be dead. ('Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.')

4. Honor the knights who say NI, thou shalt bring them a gift of shrubbery, shall it be the only gift that shalt be appeasing. ('Honor your father and your mother.')

5. Thou shalt not bear false witness towards your neighbor being a witch, less she weighs the same as a duck. ('You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.')

6. If given a swamp to build a castle in, you shalnt be daft to build it, for if the first shall sink into the swamp, thou shall build a second one. If that one shall sink into the swamp, Thou shalt build a third one. If the third shall burn down, fall over, and then sink into the swamp. Thou shalt build a fourth! And if tis your neighbor with the swamp, thy shalnt convent it. ('You shall not covet your neighbor's [stuff]')

7. Thou shalt count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached.

8. None shall pass.

9. Thou shall not have babies with any strange nuns packed into a castle. ('You shall not commit adultery.')

10. You shalnt believe that anything existed before the quest of the holy grail. ('You shall have no other gods before Me.')

Reviews

[R. L. Aversa]

I like Monty Python. The Quest for the Holy Grail is one of the funniest movies ever made. The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. And the discussion about coconuts migrating is my favorite part.