The Final Goodbye

“What’s wrong?” He asked as she tried to ignore him.

“Leave me alone!” She yelled. “You hurt me in one of the worst ways possible and you’ll never understand how I feel.”

“Why is that?” His lips formed into a frown just like they always did when he was getting angry or frustrated.

“People can warn you far in advance and tell you time after time about getting your heart broken. You can imagine yourself without the love of your life, getting dumped, you having to walk out and so on. You can try to plan for it as much as possible. But no matter what you do, nothing will ever prepare you for the slap in the face that is heartbreak.

What does it feel like to be heartbroken? Well first, imagine finally feeling complete. Because your whole life you grow up with the idea that you go to college, you meet somebody and you fall in love. He treats you like a princess. You spend every second you can together and you’re always smiling. Everything is magical from the first time he texts you, hugs you, kisses you. That first kiss being what solidifies your feelings for him. It feels as if fireworks are exploding in your gut and you just crave more. Falling asleep and waking up next to him gives you butterflies, and even when he’s still half asleep he will stretch and pull you in closer. His warmth, his smell, his arms, everything. It makes you feel so complete and light as a feather.

Now imagine having all of that, and losing it overnight. No longer is he the one to give you a goodnight kiss. No longer do you wake up wrapped in his arms. He does not ask how your day was. He does not even glance your way.

You feel empty. As if there is a gaping hole in your heart where he used to be. You feel alone. Nothing makes sense. When you even think about seeing somebody else it tears you apart. And if his name pops up on your phone, his nickname is no longer there. Everything is formal. It feels as if you’ll never love again, and like you don’t deserve to be loved. Heartbreak is is still loving the person who you lost, and not being able to do anything about it. You make a complete fool out of yourself because you’d do anything to have them back. You’d do anything to be able to call that person ‘mine.’

Only they wouldn’t do the same. They would at one point, but something happened that steered them in the complete opposite direction as you. When you see him, look into his eyes, hear his name, your heart still skips a beat. But when he sees you, your eyes, hears your name, it’s meaningless. Sure, he still cares about you. He cares a lot. But that means nothing because you are still in love with him and you’d do anything to fall asleep in his arms. You’d do anything to spend every single day with him. To say ten years from now that he is still yours and that he falls in love with you all over again every morning when he wakes up and sees you lying next to him.

That’s heartbreak. Wanting what you can’t have.”

“Is that how I made you feel?” He asked.

“Yes,” she replied.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. His eyes began to glow with tears. “I don’t want to hurt you any more. What do you want me to do?”

“You have to hurt me once more,” she said.

“How?” He was confused. Now he was beginning to hurt, she could tell. She knows he cares about her, but he will never want her back. She knew what she had to tell him.

“Walk out. Forever.”

“I still want you in my life. Just not how you want me.”

“Goodbye,” she said as she turned around and walked away. It was the last word she ever spoke to him.