All My Fault

Fiction.

A mother that didn't care,
A father never there.
Happiness was nothing.
It was not a spark in the air,
It was not a small flicker of hope.
It simply does not exist in that family.

In the end would it really matter?
Would the sharp tongues of her mother,
Decide heaven or hell?
Would her father slipping farther and farther away,
Hiding from her.
Shielding his eyes,
Blocking his daughter from his sight,
Keep her from her path?

The path,
Already decided for her.
"You'll never be anything."
Her mother didn't think highly of her.

The divorce,
Her fault.
The broken dreams,
Her fault.
The shedding tears,
The screaming fights,
Her fault,
Her fault.
The hair dye gone wrong,
Somehow that was her fault too.
Two homes,
A broken family.
Broken smiles,
Hiding eyes.
Inward sighs,
Never drying eyes.

Can they hear her screams,
Pleading for them to love her?
Can they see her tears?
Her pain welling into water.
Do they care,
That they promised to love her,
To love each other,
And broke both promises?

Do they know?
Do they know how they are killing her?
How every conversation is a battle?
How she's losing the war?

Would they notice if she died?
Maybe it would be better.
No one would care.

Author's Note

Fictional poem. Another one that happens a lot in life too.

Reviews

[Owlgirl]

I love the depth and emotion you put into this poem, it's devastating yet so honest and beatiful. All in all, amazing.

[thehottamale]

this one was great, sad but so true and it's like you've gotten inside the mind of a child that's been through a horrible divorce, I liked this one alot.

[Captain]

Very sad, relatable poem. Well worded and well communicated emotion, though I'd like to challenge you to write something a little less consistent. Something that starts and ends on a different note. Still, a very nice heart felt poem.
'Captain

[SheActsLikeSummer]

Woah. Intense. I love it. "Her pain welling into water"; stunning. I really enjoyed this. You convey the emotions really well, though I shouldn't be the one to tell you that, my parents are together. But it just makes me so much more grateful that they are.

The one thing I would suggest is to revise the line: "It was not a thing you could hold in your hand". It takes away from the well kept flow of the poem and it's in the first stanza; maintaining a good flow of words from the begging is crucial. Basically the first thing you read, you don't want the readers to feel wary and not be able to fully plunge into the emotion of this poem.

Anyway, wonderful job, I really enjoyed it.

[Cathy Wattam]

Another very good piece of writing here. You convey such effective emotions within the lines, even between the lines that ring so true. Well written, I really enjoyed it.

[Lily]

This is so True
I almost can relate to this
and it does happen to toher people
But I love it

[None]

You have taken a common occurrence that is hard to step inside unless if you've been there and perfectly woven it into a poem that covers all its bases. Also, it is relateable to any person who has felt this way with their parents within or without a divorce. As always, a great write. You climb inside the mind's of your characters very well. I enjoy the freedom of this piece as well. You don't let the lines length or rhythm hold you back, but let it flow how it wants to. Good work.

[Mockingbird]

it is important to face these issues in order to gain the strength to get past it and move on with your life making your own decisions and not allowing painful circumstances decide your fate. great job.

[Suditi]

Full of emotions.
A very well written poem. It is heart touching.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I agree this is a major thought that goes through most kids' minds when a divorce happens. Always thinking it's their fault, when frankly it's not. You done an excellent job expressing your feelings on how a person would feel like they're not worth being loved. Outstanding :)


Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG:)