Carcinogenic.

He was gone.

I woke up from yet another nightmare and walked into my kitchen.

“Good morning”, kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll be back downstairs in a minute or two.”

I ran upstairs to pack a bag, I was going somewhere again

I was always going somewhere, anywhere, to escape the

cancer-ridden atmosphere I called home.

I looked in the mirror.  No reflection. 

“Call 911.”

I ran downstairs and saw him lying on the ground.

Panic swept through me. I dialed the numbers.

“I’m sorry honey, you’ll have to stop crying,

I just can’t understand you.”

Patronizing voices coming in from the other end,

I calmed myself and gave her my address.

“Someone is on their way. Please stay calm.”

My father is lying practically immobile on my kitchen tile.

CPR attempted, but maybe I didn’t do it right

I knew he was going. 

Kiss on the cheek. I love you. Try not to cry. Try to be strong in front

of the strongest man I knew.

Ambulance arrived, wailing pointlessly through my neighborhood

He was already far from help.

He was far from me.

My hero, my paladin

My father. Had lost.

Entered the hospital. Heard it officially.

Didn’t cry. Stayed strong for my mother and my weeping siblings

Apparently I was lucky. Apparently being with him as he died was something

to be envied. I beg to differ, although it means nothing now. 

Funeral. Bugles sounding, for my father was a Vietnam Veteran.

Crying brothers. Emotionless sister. Me, in the midst of turmoil trying not

to lose my mind.

Cemetery. My favorite place

I stayed for three hours longer than everyone else.

And as I made my way home, I looked to the sky

and asked whatever form of higher power I believed in that day

..Why? Why would you take the only person keeping me sane?

I bottled my anger and began a new life

as the girl who’s father had died in front of her very eyes. 

Reviews

[Paza]

Terrific story. The short sentences heighten the emotions and make the reader feel as if he is right there. I too am very close to my father and have nearly lost him once. I dread the day the feelings conveyed in this story become my reality.