No name

this is something i've ben working on :D hope you like it xxx

The way you look at me

gives me butterflies

the way you talk can hypnotise

I've only felt this way once before

so i know this feeling for sure

Im in love with a boy

who i thought would never treat me like a toy

 

He's like my brother

but i know there is no other

not now i 've met him

he is my sweetest sin

 

I'm so scared of loosing him

It would be like taking away my oxxygen

He's the one i'm breathign for

He's the one i'm living for

I can;t bare to stay

But it hurts more to go away

 

He's like my brother

But i know there is no other

Not now i've met him

He is my sweetest sin

 

We agreed our friendship was bliss

I said you i would always miss

But you lied to me

I didn't see

The person that you were

But now i know

That the act is all a show

Reviews

[John Morris]

I liked this, it's cute and emotional.

A few grammatical errors but none that can not easily be fixed, an example. ' can;t bare to stay' This is an obvious typo as you put a ; instead of a '.

This is a good write and it is nice to read. You really show your emotions through this poem and that is what they are there to do.

[Short.Nerd]

Love this. Its very well written and shows emotion. Great job (:

[John Stussy]

This was an effective write. The happiness from the beginning made the end a good slap in the face as if it really occurred to the reader as well. Good job on this.

[-Adam-]

It is very easy to tell the emotions you had for this person. Well done in portraying them. I have many of poems that are a lot like this. You may enjoy reading them.

Take care,
-Adam-

[Eagle Cruagh]

Sorry ! Unfortunately there is no way to tell.

Your poem ranges from tender and sweet to
hard hitting and dramatic.

I believe your story contains everything to make it
anywhere.

Beautiful writing !

------ Eagle Cruagh

[VincentRayne]

I could actually feel the emotion ranging from joy to regret. It's a powerful poem that could even make a nice song. good going.