That Escalated Quickly

I slam my palms down against steering wheel and shout, “You people just don’t understand anything do you? You or Jack or anyone! You are just never happy to just be somewhere and not have to constantly go-go-go.” The van seems to shrink around us as my voice raises a couple more decibels. “I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask? I just want to be at home packing, or reading, or- if, God forbid, I'm feeling adventurous- scrolling through my Twitter feed, or something, anything, besides being stuck in the middle of nowhere. I never even wanted to come on this freaking trip in the first place. I. Just. Want. To. Go. Home. Okay?” I punctuate each word by hitting the steering wheel again.

Harper’s eyes keep getting wider and wider with every syllable. She looks at the ceiling and bites her lip before whispering, “Please don’t yell at me,” and that’s all she says, and for some reason, this just makes me madder. It’s like there's this big ball of anger throbbing in my stomach, welling up into my throat, only I didn’t realize it until just now, and it was too late to keep it from bursting.

Exasperated, I shout, “Sometimes I don’t even know why we’re friends anymore!” My cry falls flat in the air, where it reverberates like a gunshot. Regret slams into my gut. “Harper, I… I just-“

She holds up her hand, effectively cutting me off. “Do you know why I wanted so badly to take this trip? Newsflash: It wasn’t to see the world’s largest rocking chair, or that ridiculous vacuum cleaner museum. It was never about any of that. It was because I’m. Not. Like. You. I'm not… I'm not smart or anything like you are. You have a chance to get out of our town, but I don’t. And when you leave for college, you won’t be back, because no one who leaves ever comes back. And I just feel like… Like. Like I was losing you, Rae. And, honestly, that terrified me. So I just wanted this one last thing with you, is all. Because, contrary to popular belief, you are the best friend I have ever had. But, apparently, you don’t feel the same. And that’s fine. Whatever.” She turns towards the window, wiping her eyes.

            Silence falls like a veil around us, separating us. Here’s my chance to step across the canyon I have dug, but I won’t do it, and we both know it. It’s not me to apologize, and we both know that, too. But she has to know I didn’t mean what I said. She has to. We’ve been through too much together for her to not know.

But, eventually, she just yanks the door ajar, then turns towards me once more. Focusing her brown eyes, rimmed red and puffy, on me, she said in a shaking but cold voice, “I really hope you do like being alone. I can give you that, at least.”

With that, she climbs out of the van, slamming the door behind her, leaving me truly alone.

It’s a funny thing, being left alone. I had always thought that was what I wanted, and so I had retreated into solitude, relished even in the absolute quiet of it. But when it was forced upon me like this, it crashed over me like an avalanche, suffocating me. Leaning forward slightly, I fumble for the radio dial. I punch it; fuzzy static and a vaguely twangy tune pours through the stereo speakers. You can tell that Harper’s been listening to the radio in here. A million times I had asked her how she could listen to this. “It’s always about a guy getting drunk and getting laid in the back of his truck.” I’d say.

“Not always,” She’d tell me sometimes.

“No?” I’d snort.

“No.” She’d flash a wide grin. “Sometimes its about prison. There's a lot of old country songs about prison, ya know.”

I’d always just shake my head and shove a Harvey Danger tape in.

Not this time, though. This time, I close my burning eyes and collapse back into the cracking leather seat. I don’t really listen, per se, namely because all that can be heard is static and banjoes. Honestly, I just appreciate the noise of it in a way I haven’t before. It lets me get to a better state of mind.

How did I get here?

Just a few weeks ago, my life was practically perfect. I was in charge of my thoughts, emotions, and actions. Everything was under control. Everything had its place, and everything stayed there, in a nice, neat, little box. My emotions wouldn’t get the best of me. I knew where I stood with everybody- at least, everybody who counted. Friendships were like an Unbreakable Vow. And above everything else, logic trumped all. Just how I liked it. 

Reviews

[Shadowkai]

I love it, holy cow i normally prefer to read about the supernatural and such but this caught my attention and pulled me all the way through. Great job can't wait to read more.

[Kayle Ann]

I almost cried when I wrote this and told my best friend that we could never ever ever fight like this.

[Shadowkai]

Wow i would never be able to handle that either, he by the way would you mind checking out my stories to and letting me know what you think. That'd be very much appreciated

[Lavorther]

Again, i feel like i have missed something. That anger came kind of out of nowhere. I want to know what got her so upset. Probably has something to do with the night with Jack, i guess. But why is she mad at Harper? It just left me kind of confused.

The chapter was very well written though. You really captured the emotions, and made me feel the pain of saying something like that to a good friend.

PS: great Harry Potter reference ;)

[Kayle Ann]

This was the first scene I wrote for this story/book/thingie. Idk whats going on yet. I'm just trying to write down what comes to me and then I'll, as I said before, string it all together later.