the sky is falling

Eyes the size of the moon drawing in her stars 

every time they made eye contact

leaving her blank and lightless

and confused as to how he does it every time

makes you think you're some remarkable planet in his universe

the way he caresses your skin, like it's a fragile piece of evidence 

that perfect exists 

only to find out 

he's a meteor in ours 

from a distance, looking like a beautiful shooting star,

so, naturally, you wish for him and all his power

then he gets closer and destroys you

and makes you wish you never looked up at the sky

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

I like experiments, I understand what MomzillaNC is saying, but if you look at new collections of poetry, like Warner/Lumsden Best British Portry series you will find a lot of unorthodox punctuation..quote, There are poems that I enjoy, although they are technically flawed unquote. I like this, but I am pragmatic not dogmatic, a lousy poet but a published one.

[Ashira Macy]

The metaphor in this was so gorgeous, I loved it! It was tragic and sad withe the destruction he causes, and the message that sometimes things are not all that they appear to be. Beautiful work.

[Wórdsmíth]

Many versions of love`ve been reflected through this piece. Quiet interesting!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like how you described things in this poem.
"so, naturally, you wish for him and all his power
then he gets closer and destroys you
and makes you wish you never looked up at the sky"
Above lines is a powerful statement. I liked the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Rene Salinas]

In a piece of music every note is intentional and it counts as the musician reads the composition he inteprets it. Long gone are the days were artists are told not to do something because it will not conform with "formality" even in the most obtuse of universities and private colleges they teachers will recommend. So when I read this writing I interpreted the diffrent notation so moon has a varied meaning becuase it is indicate to be and so it goes on. Quite the opposite of spontaneous prose were less is more here you are letting us know part of the interpretation. I read Momzillas review and it took me by suprise. Keith Walkdrop uses notation at times which is slightly different and he was awarded here the national prize for poetry.

In the context I assumed you intended it it make sense.

Thankyou

[MomzillaNC]

Evocative imagery.

NOTES:
The use of the strike-through is disruptive to the flow and adds nothing to the imagery. The italicized "remarkable" works. The italicized "meteor" is superfluous to the meaning. The bold text is not functional to the progression or meaning. The underscored and bolded "never" would be better italicized. As someone who'd worked 25 years in publishing and design, I can tell you that the above changes would be the first thing an editor would mark for change, before even reading the copy.

[krystle]

The features should be no effect to the words and meaning of the poem itself. Just testing out the effects since I haven't yet. Like I said before though, the effects should not effect the meaning behind the piece but Thankyou for the advice.

[MomzillaNC]

You're the poet, it's your words. I was only sharing the benefit of my professional experience. There are specific reasons for every font effect in publishing, after all.

[krystle]

And j appreciate it will definitely take that with my next time I'm posting a piece, thank you :)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.