“It’s 5:46 AM, my heart is sitting in my stomach and my stomach caved in a long time ago. my lips stay pressed as if, as if someone scared every last word they wanted to say back into non-existence When I look, I no longer see other worldly colors staring back, Just vacant eyes I no longer see smiling lips I just see a mouth with tired sores, And I don’t see the person I once drowned in wonder for I just see, you It’s 5:48 AM, and i’m stuck wondering how two people, who had everything in a world full of nothing, let the nothing, overpower their everything.”
"who had everything in a world full of nothing,
let the nothing, overpower their everything.”
Funny how we look back. Stood in the utopia of love and one day. Something changed. I like the journey you took me with and the yearning for understanding. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
This is an amazing poem, sad yet beautifully put together. You capture the moment perfectly and many can really relate to this, of course not me been that I haven't date anyone. But in all seriousness, this is well written and the imagery stands out. Nicely done!
~Suk
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much im glad you liked it, and you don't have to date someone to be completely smitten .. read moreThank you so much im glad you liked it, and you don't have to date someone to be completely smitten by them :)
10 Years Ago
That is true, but I don't that has happened to me yet, or maybe I just don't pay too much attention .. read moreThat is true, but I don't that has happened to me yet, or maybe I just don't pay too much attention to those things LOL
Thats good of you to hide the stranger that is you protect yourself from ever being found out. No one can learn for what you write about for its someone else's life and not your own. But I find this journey of overpowering nothingness to effect most any one with a heart that gets broken on a ware out relationship so don't ware your heart on your sleeve you must find other people more interesting then the life you lead. Bless you and keep you safe. Enjoyed the read.
You're last two lines encapsulate the entirety of a tragedy too often played out in love. People let too much of everything overwhelm and drive away the one thing that can carry them through all the trials of Life.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Just getting around to replying to this poem.. thank you so much :)
You have a keen sense of observation to be able to describe what you see and embellish it. The last two lines are profound to me. You even give a sense of time as if it was dragging on in the present existence. This isn't just a poem, it's a black and white scene with two people now separated in harmony with each other. I see a kitchen table with plain chairs and a couple mired in silence. Thanks o bringing this to life for me and showing me this short clip.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
wow thank you so much, you've added to this poem just with your comment :)
"who had everything in a world full of nothing,
let the nothing, overpower their everything.”
Funny how we look back. Stood in the utopia of love and one day. Something changed. I like the journey you took me with and the yearning for understanding. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Those who say they don`t write about themselves but `bout others, most of them always told a true-lie. Anyway, this poem`s nicely pen`d. I like the imagery. You`ve shown the moments of rusting love-life in words. Keep writing!
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
hmmm...maybe so, but maybe not, thank you for this :)
This world excites me. I like being around people with genuine personalities and happy spirits. I'm made of coffee and love Jesus. now that the basics are out of the way, I'm also a walking contradic.. more..