Dark Young Age

*TRIGGER WARNING*

 

How was it?

 Was it like a rollercoaster ride?

How was it?

Was it painful?

 

 It feels like you’re/you are in a dark cold room

 With spiders at the top of the ceiling hanging from their webs

While all I can hear is a terrified voice

It’s so uncomfortable to move

 

 The breath that he exhales

 Makes me frightened/scared even more

 The smell of beer makes me dizzy

 His hands on my lower body goes up

 

I can’t fight back

He threatened me

 He is more powerful than me

His tongue that lands on my neck makes me feel disgust at him

 

After everything he left me

 Left me as if I was just a sex toy for/to him

 A nightmare that cannot be just a dream

If I told you this would you judge me?

 As a girl who is weak?

 A girl you know who is dirty?

 A silent one like an owl who doesn’t hoot much?

 Would you judge me because of what happened to me?

 

I really hate it when people are pressuring me with their questions

 Thus, it pressures me whenever they ask
Is it long?

 How long did you have sex with him.

 

It sucks when the person you told that to is a loved one

 It sucks when they blame you for being weak.

It’s depressing if some pursue you to make you tell the story

 I prefer to give up my life than answer these questions that makes me feel sick.

Reviews

[mariposa]

It's sad to say that I somehow know the pain of what the persona felt. It concerns me on how you were able to write this accurately with emotions and pain but please know that you are not alone :(( It's honesty frightening to be a woman, but being with other women gives you such power. Altogether, I agree with what Juancheeto said; please put a trigger warning because the words you used are descriptive and vivid that one may be triggered by her trauma.

[Juancheeto]

This poem certainly needs a disclaimer because of how sensitive and direct the wording of the writer in the poem, but I believe this certainly is effective in trying to tell its tale, being short, simple, and easy to understand.

[gabby]

this poem is painful. it is very emotion driven. it is haunting, and no one ever deserves to experience this. it is well written because the author effectively expressed the mood and emotions incorporated in the poem to the reader.

[moongirl]

I find this kind of depressing. I think that the poem/prose focused more on the author's emotions and her perspective as the guy did immoral things to her, which I liked. There were a few punctuation errors but overall it was an interesting work, because of the topic you chose to write about ^^

[Ysa]

Very painful because you made use of simple, bold, and direct words. They all have an impact on a reader and your work is very relevant!!! The only thing I can say is choose between you're or you xD And maybe give a trigger warning please, that's all!

[pearl]

This poem is so painful :((( The word choice is simple and direct to the point.