Can't kill a demon

This is not justify self harm or suicide, this is only from a young teens mind and heart when I was at a very low point in my life, and when I was contemplating life. I am healthy now.

How do you kill the demon In you, with out killing yourself?
You cant!
Committing suicide is not the easy way out, its the only way.
When the blood that flows through your vains, through your heart, and the thoughts that fill your head, and the air that pours onto your lungs, when it's all infected with hate and evil. How do you kill/cure the demon, the hate.
How do you kill the monster that has devoured your sole, and innocents, and now sits in the shell that used to be you.
When you have no more love, or true lust, or when you shut off the emotions, it's not because it's the easy way out, it's because you know you can't win the war.
And no one wants to die in pain when they can die in peace