A letter to my depression

Dear Depression,

I f*****g hate you.

Every night for two years, you have dragged to my bed , clambered on top of me, 

your heavy form pressing me into my bed until the indent in my mattress is as deep

 as the hole in my hollow chest.

You whispered your sweet nothings into my ear

Each word seeped into my skin, poisoning my bloodstream, 

muddying the already murky waters of my brain.

Sometimes, when you were feeling naughty , you’d bring out the rope, 

tie me down, make it impossible for me to leave you. 

On the particularly bad days I found myself wishing that the rope would somehow make it to my neck. 

Perhaps in that sense it was probably a good thing that I couldn't move. 

Not that I am thanking you.

And then when I called it quits, 

when I finally thought I was over 

you would somehow sneak your way back through the battered door that is my heart.

 No alarm ever went off. 

You were already deeply buried in the crevices of my soul before I would notice .

 My security has never been great.

I can’t do this any more. Please, just get out and never come back.

 

Dear Depression,

I miss you. 

Without you I can no longer spend my days hiding under my duvet.  

The world is bright, and loud. 

I long for the quiet and darkness that you brought.

I want the rope. 

It gave me an excuse as to why I couldn't leave.

In the light all I can see is my failures.

It is better to know something isn't possible than to try and fail. 

You were never one for trying. 

Come back to me.

 

Dear Depression,

I think we can be friends.  

Don’t get me wrong.

I know you are bad for me, 

but it would silly to pretend that there won’t come a day 

when you will be back at my door.

But this time’s things will be different.  

You will not seduce me, I will not go to bed with you. 

From now on, I refuse to be easy.

We will come to an understanding. 

You will stay no longer than I allow. 

You will be respectful and careful of your surroundings,

I will make you aware of all of the fragile components.

You will leave in the knowledge that you will be back.

But be warned , old friend, 

Next time,  I assure you there will be locks. 

Reviews

[Mila]

Amazing. The emotions were so real, and many can relate to this. Well done!

[John Ryan]

wonderfully penned absolutely love it

[Delmar Cooper]

I liked the workmanship of your poem. I don't like poetry about depression, but I like your way of expressing your theme. You present your case like the case for cherishing grief -- something that is not helpful, but becomes a painful comfort even as it grates a mind and body into fine particles

[catney123]

I loved this; truly amazing.

[C. Rose]

I love this. The images are great as is the arc of hatred-missing-acceptance. Favorite line is "my security has never been great. It made me feel better.

[Emily]

I love it!
The wording is just awesome!
Keep it up!!

[kawatters]

Please let me know what you think!