See You In Hell

Set in a mental hospital in Detroit, Michigan, this play is about the struggles of the patients who have been placed there.

Steven- He works out at the gym everyday. He is a big tough guy who is  there for depression and anger. In reality his depression stems from the death of his best friend and his father in the same week and from his hatred of his stepfather. Also is hit with multiple head traumas that affect his depression from wrestling and football.

Lucas-Struggles with intrusive thoughts. He has by the time of the main character’s arrival shot down the intrusive thoughts like the white man has shot down the passenger pigeon. Has very large internalized homophobia issues.

Alex- A nonbinary person who has BPD very very very bad. For their gender non-comformingness they are stabbed at their school that is not very LGBT+ friendly. Is a country person.

Julia- a schizophrenic girl who is really struggling with hallucinations. Julia also is a lesbian just like everybody else.

Ariel- Super addict also known as drug lesbian. She does weed, alcohol, vapes, cigars but was brought  to the ward after an alcohol overdose. She sells weed and has open access to it because her parents are legal marijuana dispensers. She only uses to cover up the death of her youngest brother Ethan the abuse she was put through by her mother and her sister.  

Tom- A trans guy who has bipolar and  has it pretty rough. Is the main character. Tells the story like a memory play.

Caleb- One of the psychologists that work at the facility. He is hired fresh out of college. He is fabulously gay, doesn’t care who knows it and shops at H &M. Is the warm fuzzy caregiver of the hospital.

Andy- He is the very serious based on the books caregiver. He is very knowledgeable about how treatment but is very no nonsense. He often calls the shots

Dr. Sellers- A young female psychiatrist who is a mediator between parties and works to keep people in check.

Act 1 Scene 1

Tom: Hello. Hi. I’m Tom. I none of you have ever met me but I like to think I am a charming, handsome and attractive fella.  I like to think that. Looking at the past, it can saddening. I’ve seen people suffer terribly. I have experienced the pain myself. Life's not fair. Sure, seeing you, I wonder what you have seen. Have you seen horror. Have you seen pain. Have you ever truly experienced joy or euphoria? I know I have. You’re probably wondering where I come from. I come from the suburbs of Detroit. You’re probably thinking he grew up in Detroit, must be a tough cookie. Nah, the suburbs are nice. White picket fence nice. I grew up with lots of opportunity. Lots of places to see, lots of things to learn, plenty of good food in my tummy. I wasn’t one of those kids who grew up near drugs and poverty. I had a nice Catholic upbringing. Why then did I wind up in a mental hospital. I don’t know how. Maybe it was all my years of success that brought me here. Maybe  it was just fate. Though I see the world through a different lense now, I know my memory may be tainted with pessimism. But, being in a mental hospital can sure mess up a person. Have you ever stayed in one. Nah, figured. But, you should know, a mental hospital on the inside is nothing like one Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The staff is normally much nicer. And there are no lobotomies. and the people here aren’t that  kind of crazy. Sure they’re messed up, but not in the same way. I seem to find a way of getting myself inside of mental hospitals. I understand why I need to be locked up. I get it. I am a danger to myself. But, I’m just a drop in the bucket. But that doesn’t really matter anymore. Nothing really matters anymore.

Act 1 Scene 2

Dr. Sellers: Hello, I am the psychiatrist here at St. Michael's hospital. I’m going to ask you a few questions. Is your name Jayne?

Tom:  Tom

Dr. Sellers: Ok Tom. So why are you here today?

Tom: I’m here because I had a suicide attempt.

Dr. Sellers: What kind of treatment were you receiving before you got here?

Tom: I was seeing an outpatient therapist and a physiatrist.

Dr. Sellers: What medications are you currently on?

Tom: Your table.

Dr. Sellers: Pardon me?

Tom: Your table. The edges are sharp enough that you could cut yourself with them.

Dr. Seller: Thank you for informing me. So what medications are you currently on?

Tom: You should find a way to round the edges. Then people couldn’t cut themselves on the edges of your table.

Dr. Sellers: I’ll have somebody take care of it. So how are you feeling right now?

Tom: Hopeless, helpless, and melancholy.I feel as though all the light in the world has been sucked out of my soul and replaced with darkness.    

Dr. Sellers: So you’re not doing great I take it.  

Tom: You could say that.

Dr. Sellers: Is there anything in particular that could have caused this stress?

Tom: Not really.

Dr. Sellers: Are there any factors that could make you feel worse or better?

Tom: Well I have recently come out as lesbian recently to normally positive reactions. I mean I’ve gotten threats that people are going to beat me up of course and negative reactions from church groups, but that is expected.

Dr. Sellers: That sounds stressful.

Tom: Yeah, it is. Also I have body image issues.

Dr. Sellers: What kind of body image issues? Like you feel too large or…?

Tom: Well I fit the ideal of a female body. I look like a Victoria’s secret model when I am in a bikini. That being said, I don’t want to be a Victoria’s Secret model. I would rather be a regular average guy with a regular average guy body. I mean it affects almost everything in my life. I don’t look in mirrors, showers suck and I am very likely to self harm there versus other places. Getting dressed sucks.

Dr. Sellers: What is looking in the mirror like?

Tom: It is like seeing a monster in your reflection. It is like looking and feeling that you must have swapped bodies with someone, like a sci-fi film or something.

Dr. Sellers: How does that affect your daily life?

Tom: It doesn’t always. I mean there are the obvious things like hating restroom usage or hating appearance, but I’m not out enough to be discriminated against and I’m happy enough with how I see myself that it is just the disconnect that sucks. Some days it is worse and it is hard for me to cope. Other days, I look great and feel great and I am who I am.

Dr. Sellers: How do you feel today?

Tom: I feel like crap. I mean part of it is that I’m depressed. Though I don’t know. Is it the chicken or the egg. Does my bad state cause my gender dysphoria or does my gender dysphoria cause my depression to be worse. I have no answers, but I feel like crap in general.

Dr. Sellers: So I see that your outpatient therapist has diagnosed you with an unspecified bipolar disorder. Do you feel that this diagnosis is accurate?

Tom: Yes. I mean I get both ends. Right now I am pretty depressed. But that is not the full problem. When I am high, I can’t focus, thoughts race a million miles a minute and I don’t sleep. If you treat the depression you treat half the problem.

Dr. Sellers: I have only seen you one day so I cannot confirm the diagnosis until we’ve met more. It is time for you to go to group therapy.

Act 1 Scene 3

Lucas: (Lucas is visibly shaky moving his legs rapidly and  hands back and forth) Aaa. I see we have a new victim who has arrived into group today. May I ask for your name?

Tom: The psychologists probably already know me as Jayne, but I prefer to be called by Tom.

Caleb: (Bubbly and with a slight lisp)  I’ll take note of that.

Lucas: oh, so you’re one of those people. You know God gave you a female body to be used as a female body.

Tom: Well that’s is a very nice of you to say. I see it a touch differently than you.

Lucas: Well, all I can do is help. See, are you afraid of burning in hell?

Tom: Actually…

Andy: Lucas, we haven’t said group rules yet. Do you want to say group rules.

Lucas: (said as a constant and quick reiteration) No numbers as in weight or calories. Do not glorify sex, drugs or violence. Do not interrupt anybody. This group is talk about our problems and Caleb and Andy are here to facilitate. No talking religion and politics. No shoulds instead say coulds. Am I forgetting anything?

Alex: We..

Lucas: Ah yes. We do not discriminate or make judgments based on things people can’t or in my opinion do not want to change such as race, religion, ethnicity, and sexual orientation.

Tom: Is gender identity covered?

Lucas: Yes but that is something that you should...I mean could change.

Tom: Um, thank you for your recomendation but I am fine as I am.

Lucas (to Andy): Now can I say what I wanted to earlier.

Andy: Go ahead.

Lucas: Are you afraid of burning in hell?

Tom: Honestly, I don’t fear hell. Hell is relative. Though I may feel the flames consume my body if I continue to have hope and love in my life, I have nothing to fear and the pain shall become obsolete. What I fear is that no matter how hard I try to do what is right that God will condemn me to a life without joy and peace in my heart. I don’t fear flames because with the right state of mind  I can still be content.

Lucas: So you fear a loss of God’s love?

Tom: Yes but..

Alex: You know some of us might not be religious and this might not be helping us

Lucas: So then let’s change the topic and let’s talk about how to convert you to Catholicism. So do you fear burning in hell?

Alex: You know there are other nicer ways of converting people than talking about hell.

Caleb: Ok, let’s change the conversation so that it is therapeutic for everyone.

Lucas: No, I want to talk about my problems. See I when I came in here I always feared that God had a giant eye looking at me all the time and that he was always looking at me. I feared that God was going to damn me to the eternal flames. That was until God came to me in a vision and now I know the true love of Jesus. Now God has given me a mission to convert as many people as possible and to grow strong to fight ISIS and the monsters of hell. I have recovered with the help of religion and the love of God. My intrusive thoughts have been shot like the white man has shot the passenger pigeon and are now extinct. God has made me a new man. (pause) So do you fear hell, Alex?

Alex: I’m sorry but…

Caleb:(to Andy) I’ve got this one. (To Lucas)  I think we should step outside for a minute. (Caleb and Lucas go outside of the circle)

Caleb: You just broke group rules again. Like a lot of them.

Lucas: Well I am trying to help Jayne and Alex. See if they learn to turn to God now, they can have better treatment and can get more help.

Caleb: First we do not judge based on gender identity. I know you can technically get away with it here but personally, it is part of the expectations Andy and I have laid out for you. Second, you are trying to convert people which is ok during art, music and free time but it is not ok during group therapy. No talking religion and politics.

Lucas: Yes but religion is relevant to my treatment.

Caleb: I get it. The Catholic Church has messed you up. It’s messed me up too. And that is an ok treatment related thing to talk about. But what you what you were doing was unacceptable.

Lucas: What was I doing wrong?

Caleb: You were very rude to Tom.

Lucas: Jayne.

Caleb: No, you call Tom. Calling him by his birthname is unacceptable. You owe Tom an apology letter.

Lucas: Fine. I’ll write a letter.

Julia: Well I have problems with hallucinations and scary stuff is happening.

Tom: Hey, I get those too. What do you see?

Julia: Well I don’t see things, I hear them. There’s a new person that I have been hearing. She’s an 8 year old girl and I have been hearing her voice. It started with her saying my name but now I hear asking her to play with her. She likes dolls a lot I guess and princesses. We’ve just been talking and she is pretty nice.

Tom: I see dark hooded figures  and snakes so if you see me screaming it is probably one of those two.

Andy: Do these voices ever tell you to hurt yourself, Julia?
Julia: Not this one but others have in the past. There is this skeleton guy, I guess more like a grim reaper guy who tells me to hurt myself sometimes. He tells me to cut myself. And then he tells me that I am a worthless piece of crap and that I deserve the cuts and the pain.

Andy: Do you ever challenge these voices?

Julia: I have once before but they get angrier.

(Dr. Sellers enters,)

Dr. Sellers: May I please meet with Julia.

(Julia exits with Dr. Seller) (Caleb and Lucas enter)

Lucas: So it turns out my comments directed towards Jayne…

Andy:(In unison) Tom

Caleb:(In unison) Tom

(Both Andy and Caleb look back at each other and smile and catch each other’s eyes)

Lucas: It turns out my comments to Tom were considered inappropriate and against the rule of no judgment based on gender identity, so Caleb made me write you a letter. I hope at some point you decide to read it and we can discuss in depth it’s contents.

Tom: Please call me Tom and thank you very much. (Tom opens up the letter, reads the first line and reacts negatively to its contents)

Lucas: I see my letter is not well received.

Tom: So I see that you haven’t talked at all yet (to Steven)

Steven: Who me?

Tom: Yes, you. Hello.

Steven: Hi, I’m Steven.

Tom: So what do you like to do Steven?

Steven: I like to go to the gym and work out.

Tom: Hey, me too. I use the treadmill and I lift 2-3 times a week. What about you?

Steven: Well I go twice a day and I do all sorts of things. I’m actually on a baseball team and I work out for that. I used to play football but I had to quit.

Tom: That is cool. What are you here for?

Steven: You haven’t told any of us what you are here for. I’ll say what I’m here for if you say what you’re here for.

Alex: Tell us.

Tom: Well about 18 hours ago I attempted to suffocate myself using a plastic bag. Once the outpatient therapist told my family I was a harm to myself they locked up everything from the bleach counter cleaner and the toilet cleaner and I’d mix together to create lethal mustard gas to the knives I’d cut this artery with (points to the main artery in their neck).My house is only 18 feet tall and if I were to jump off my roof I wouldn’t kill myself because it needs to 30 feet for a jump like that to be lethal. Then I could jump in the Rogue river and kill myself by getting hypothermia. It is cold in the winter time in metro-detroit. But hypothermia rarely kills, only having a total of 1,300 people killed in the United States in 2011. I thought about drowning myself in the bathtub. But drowning even with my mouth covered would be nearly impossible. So I figured I’d take my nightly sleeping pills handed to me by parents and then fall asleep in the bathtub with something over my mouth dying silently. I would have done it but then had to be with an adult at all times in the bathroom. With the pills locked up, heavy chemicals locked up, the kitchen knives locked up and no other way to do it, I used a plastic grocery bag, available at any local suburban grocery market and basically everywhere you look. I had to be creative. After I tried to suffocate myself, my family called 911 and they sent me to an ER via ambulance. Then from the ER they sent me here.

Lucas: Oh, I tried to kill myself by electrocution.

Tom: That is nice. How did you feel about that at time knowing that God was always watching you?

Lucas: (Low murmurs)

Andy: Are you ok Lucas?

Lucas: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with..

Caleb: It’s ok.

Lucas: No it is not!.

Caleb: You’re safe here.

Lucas: I CAN’T HELP WHAT I HAVE DONE LORD!!

Caleb: Calm down, Lucas.

Lucas: I HAVE SINNED AGAINST YOU AND ALL YOU HAVE STOOD FOR!

Tom: No worries, you’d just join the likes of Samuel.

(Caleb grabs his arms and tries to get him to leave the group circle)

Lucas: DON’T TOUCH ME YOU F*G! (Lucas pulls his arm away)

Tom: Hey, not cool. That is not a nice word. Not nice.

Steven: You don’t use that word around anybody!

Andy: (Visibly Upset) That word is absolutely unacceptable and I am sure it can be triggering for people in this room.

Lucas: I HAVE ALL RIGHT TO USE THAT WORD AGAINST THE PERVERTS I WAS DESTINED TO FIGHT AGAINST.

Caleb: It’s ok, I get it all the time. It is just a harsh reality of our times.

Steven: I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE DESTINED TO FIGHT WHATEVER. IF YOU SAY ONE MORE THING YOU’LL BE DESTINED TO FIGHT AGAINST ME!

Lucas: ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL

(Steven throws a punch)

Andy: Everybody out of the group and into your rooms! (Patients run off stage frantically in multiple directions.

Caleb: (speaks into a walkie talkie) Code Green!

(Lucas and Steven continue to fight and Caleb and Andy try to break up the fight but are failing to restrain the two. After a struggle the two are restrained and Dr. Sellers gives them the booty juice, a shot administered through the buttocks to knock out the patient.)

Act 1 Scene 4

Ariel: Hey, so I’m your roommate.

Tom: Hey, I’m Tom.

Ariel: So Tom, why are you rooming with me if you’re, um Tom.

Tom: Because I’m not out to my parents and they signed me up my legal name and my legal gender.

Ariel: I’m pretty sure you could ask for a separate room. Dr. Sellers is normally pretty cool about that sort of stuff.

Tom: Thanks but if you’re cool with the arrangement I’m cool with it. I don’t want to be transferred to Lucas’s room. Isn’t that the only free one on the male ward?

Ariel: Yeah, I guess. I see you got a letter too.

Tom: Yep. Did you get one your first day too.

Ariel: Yeah he really doesn’t like queer people.

Tom: (sarcastically) Really. I would have never guessed that.

Ariel: I came out as gay my first day because of the whole no judgment rule. He didn’t like that. He wrote me a letter basically saying that I was going to burn in hell unless I turned to God.

Tom: He told me that I could change my gender and that I’m doing this for attention and that I was going to hell.

Ariel: I think by his standards unless you’re a virginal heterosexual cisgendered white man, you’re going to burn in hell.

Tom: I always hear this theme of all these queer people burning in hell. If all the queer people go to hell, my fear of loss of contentment will never come to fruition. Man, I’d never be lonely in hell. I’d have so many friends in hell.

Ariel. Same. See you in hell?

Tom: I’ll be sure to say hello to you. You know he used a quote from Deuteronomy. A woman must not wear men’s clothing. It’s funny.

Ariel: What?

Tom: His lack of biblical knowledge. Same book outlined kosher eating and Christians aren’t expected to eat Kosher. There is neither male nor female we are all one in Christ. Galacations, chapter 3, verse 28

Ariel: What are you, some transgender bible school teacher?

Tom: Hey it’s called catechism and I’m not out to the world yet. A select few friends know and my LGBT+ rights group.

Ariel: Whatever.

Tom: It is very rewarding to work with the children hands on and teach them about the beauty of the world through the eyes of the Catholic church.

Ariel: You know this hospital is actually Catholic funded and we are considered a Catholic mental institution.

Tom: Shoot. I came out to the people of Catholic mental hospital.

Ariel: Nobody cares. Literally everybody here is queer. Even the workers. All of them...except Dr. Sellers. She is soooo straight it is funny. Like one of those aggressively heterosexual people.

Tom: She does look pretty straight.

Ariel: It is just the higher ups on the adult unit that you have to worry about. Nobody here should give you any grief.

Tom: So why are you here?

Ariel: Well I have really ugly depression and anxiety, but I’m also here for drug abuse.

Tom: Wait, are you Ariel?

Ariel: Yeah, I’m Ariel, why?

Tom: Because one of my friends tried to set me up with you via twitter. You’re the drug lesbian, right?

Ariel: Well I guess you could call me that. But I’m supposed to be here to no longer be the drug lesbian. It’s hard because for me it’s everywhere. My parents are medical marijuana dispensers so that doesn’t help me get clean.That and alcohol is everywhere. Here, going cold turkey, it’s so difficult.

Tom: Can’t they wean you off the stuff?

Ariel: Some of it. They’ve given me nicotine patches but they can’t give me much of anything else.

Tom: That sucks man. I am not the type to do drugs but I have been prescribed the good stuff before.

Ariel: Good stuff?

Tom: Oh yeah. Have you ever been on flexeril?

Ariel: Yep (laughs). One time, I traded my zoloft for 10 pills of flexeril. I took a few and I was shaking like crazy. I was spazzing out everywhere and I had no control over any part of my body and I was just like moving without control. That is the good stuff.

Tom: Well I took everything at the prescribed dose but it clouded me up pretty well. The test out for next year’s science class happened to be during the month of August which for me was a huge prescribed flexeril trip. I wrote rainbow unikitty down as an answer for why DDT affected eagle populations.

Ariel: Yeah, that’s nice.

Tom: I mean obviously DDT runoff from farms went into the water systems where eagles got their fish and the fish had DDT in them and then the eagles ate the fish and it gave the baby eagles birth defects because DDT caused their eggshells to be too thin.

Ariel: You talk a little bit differently than most of the people here.

Tom: What? How?

Ariel: You use all these big words to describe things.

Tom: It is all a facade of intelligence.

Ariel: See! You used the word facade. Nobody uses that word.

Andy: Code green is over. Everybody line up for lunch.  (the patients get in line) Girls in the front, boys in the back. (Tom goes in the middle of both lines) (There is a black out)

Act 1 Scene 5

(The room is split into lunch tables by gender. Tom is on his own and is split between tables. He goes to the boy’s side of the lunch tables.)

Caleb: I’m sorry, but I can’t let you sit here.

Tom: Why is there an issue if I sit here?

Caleb: I think you know why. You know this is a Catholic run facility.

Tom: And that didn’t stop you from working here. Or quitting your job.

Caleb: Why would that be a problem.

Tom: I think you know why.

Caleb: I don’t want to get in trouble with the higher ups if they catch you here.

Tom: There are other reasons you could get in trouble with the higher ups...you and Andy...

Caleb: I don’t want to risk anything and if you report him too I will find you and I will...

Tom: (Interrupting) Look. We can do each other a favor. You can let me sit here and if anybody asks any questions I can vouch for you and Andy.

Caleb: Fine, but you better not tell anybody.

Tom: Of course I won’t.

Caleb: Good. I noticed your shirt and your little bow tie. It’s nice.

Tom: Thank you.

Caleb: I go shopping at H&M all the time. You should go there because they have some pretty good deals that would fit your style.

Tom: I would go this evening but I’m going to be a bit busy enjoying my stay at St. Michael’s hospital.

Lucas: Really? H&M?

Tom: Everybody has a right to wear what they want to.

Lucas: It’s just that store. No.

Caleb: Well I like H&M.

Lucas: Suit yourself.

Alex: Hi, I’m Alex.

Tom: Hi. So why do you find yourself in a place like this.

Alex: I have borderline personality disorder really bad and I have PTSD

Tom: That’s nice.

Alex: Yeah.I have been here longer than any of the other people here.

Tom: That sucks. Well, tell me, do you ever get used to the food?

Alex: No, it just gets worse with time.

Tom: Yeah, I’m not a big fan of undercooked meat.

Alex: It’s like this everyday.

Tom: I at least have that to look forward to.

Alex: I’m nonbinary and I’m here to help out a brother, or a sister, or a sibling in need if you ever need it.

Tom: Thanks, it’s nice to not feel alone. Did you get a letter too?

Alex: Oh yeah. Everybody gets a letter.

Lucas: Speaking about the letter, I would be more than happy to discuss it with you.

Tom: Sure.

Lucas: So what did you think?

Tom: Well, I think the majority of your letter followed a similar theme. I did not necessarily agree with your opinions to put it lightly.

Lucas: I can respect that. But it is very hard for me to take you seriously when you are so disillusioned that you believe you are a man. You know, gender identity disorder is actually a mental illness which they can treat you for here.

Tom: I find no need for that.

Lucas: Treatment could be a very good solution to your problem.

Tom: I don’t think I have a problem.

Lucas: Well you can’t be cured unless you recognize the problem.

Alex: He doesn’t have a problem.

Lucas: You have an issue with gender identity too and you have been here the longest.

Alex: That is not related to how I identify.

Tom: Does any of this really matter? I mean look at Plato. You could be in the cave and I could be the enlightened one and if you keep looking at all those cave reflections, you’re not living a full life.

Lucas: Look, I just want to help you.

Tom: I recognize that but you’re not helping anybody. I appreciate your attempts though.

Lucas: Thank you.

Tom: So Steven, I never got to find out what you’re here for.

Steven: Take a guess.

Tom: I’m going to take a wild wild guess and say anger issues, depression and a splash of anexity.

Steven: How’d you know.

Tom: Well, you’re abnormally quiet and nervous around conversation, you look sad and you got into a fight today. It’s a wild guess.  

Steven: You’re right.

Tom: So you played football.

Steven: Yeah.

Tom: Did you enjoy it?

Steven: Yeah.

Tom: So then why did you quit?

Steven: I got a bunch of concussions.

Tom: That’s nasty.

Steven: Yeah and it gave me brain damage and my brain is pretty messed up now.

(Dr. Sellers walks into the cafeteria)

Dr. Sellers: I need to visit with Alex….Jayne.

Tom: Tom..

Dr. Sellers: Jayne. You know you’re supposed to sit at the other table, right.

Caleb: I tried to argue with this stubborn one but they wanted to sit here.

Dr Sellers: It’s ok. It’s not your fault. But Jayne, if you could go to the girl’s table.

Alex: Lunch is over anyway, there’s no point in having Tom move over here.

Dr. Sellers: You have to move.

Tom: Ok.

Dr. Sellers: Thank you.

(Tom heads over to the girl’s table where Andy is sitting. Caleb signals to Andy. Before Tom makes it over to the table Andy says)

Andy: Lunch is over.

(Dr. Sellers exits with Alex)

Act 1 Scene 6

Andy: This is your free time to do whatever you want within reason. You need to stay in your rooms and we highly recommend you use this time to reflect on your journey and treatment. At the end of the day we will check your journals if you haven’t written anything down, you’ll have to bed down early.

Tom: Hi

Andy: Hello, what can I do for your?

Tom: So I have these (points to breast)

Andy: I can see, that is very nice. What can I do for you?

Tom: You didn’t let me finish. I also have these (pulls out a pair of ugly multicolored leggings)

Andy: So what does that have to do with the first part…

Tom: I know you are in charge of who gets to use the scissors and I would like to use your scissors.

Andy: I’m really confused.

Tom: I’m going to cut the legs off of this pair of leggings and make something to put over my breasts to make them smaller.

Andy: Ok, are you going to use the detached legs for anything?

Tom: I’m going to use them as an eye mask. Flashlight checks every 15 minutes are bright and I like to sleep.

Andy: I don’t see why not. But I have to watch you when you use the scissors, Do you feel safe using the scissors.

Tom: Yes, I’m not three.

Andy: Ok, I’m just checking.

(Andy gives Tom the scissors and he cuts the leggings.)

Andy: You know you still have to journal and present something to me at the end of the day.

Tom: Oh, no worries. I’ll have something.

Act 1 Scene 7

Caleb: So we’re doing art therapy today. Yay! So each of you have paper, feel free to do whatever.

Lucas: As I realize there are no hetrosexuals here to talk, I would tell you all about Rachel but I don’t think any of you would understand.

Steven: I’m straight.

Lucas: Oh yeah, you’re the one straight kid. We’re so marginalized here, it’s hard to find someone who understands the struggles of being straight.

Tom: Yes...you straight people must have it so so hard. I’m sure 41% of straight people attempt suicide, just like 41% of genderqueer people. And I’m sure that everyday you worry about hate crimes happening to you because you’re straight.

Alex: Hey, that is half the reason I’m here.

Lucas: Yeah and if you try to fix your gender problems as a non-binary person or whatever you are you would be half way home.

Alex: No, I was actually going for hate crimes. I’m here for PTSD.  

Tom: Oh my gosh, what happened to you?

Alex: I was the first person to ever come out. I am from AuSable michigan. We’ve barely got a population of 1,000.

Tom: That is crazy. That is 1/7 of my high school population.

Alex: Yeah, so everybody knew about me and I was the freak of my town. The biased newspaper called it a random stabbing, but I know it wasn’t. I know why it happened.

Lucas: Well that’s what happens when you come out.

Tom: Unfortunately Lucas is right. That’s why I’ll be out inside of the walls of this hospital, but no where else.

Lucas: We actually agreed on something.

Tom: Sort of.

Lucas: So maybe I can tell you about Rachel.

Tom: I’d love to hear about her. She sounds like a positive force in your life. And you know I’m heterosexual too so.

Steven: Hey! Me too.

Tom: I’m sure we just have so much in common.

Lucas: Well Rachel is a soccer player.

Steven: Oh, a sporty girl.

Lucas: And she is always there for me. We eat lunch everyday together. I think she might visit me at some point. But she’s so charming and caring and kind.

Tom: Where’d you meet her?

Lucas: I actually met her playing soccer. She was so competitive and charming that I couldn’t ignore her.

Steven: Man, I’d love a girl who’d play sports with me.

Lucas: I know I’m so lucky, but I haven’t asked her out yet.

Tom: If a girl like that is knocking on your door, you’ve got to ask her out.

Lucas: There’s a dance.

Steven: There’s always a dance. You’ve got to do it.

Lucas: There’s just a lot at stake.

Tom: Baloney sandwiches! You can’t back out.

Steven: You’ve got to do it. There was a girl I asked out a while back and I was debating about whether or not to ask her out and I did and she’s great. We’re really close. And I don’t regret it. Even though she put me in here, that just shows how much she cares about me. I’m glad every day that I have her in my life. See (Steven holds up a paper heart).

Caleb: That is so adorable. I should make one for my boo.

Steven: Yeah, I’m going to give it to her during visitation hours today.

Tom: Yeah, you’re both lucky. I get asked out by guys all the time. The straight ones. Every month. I have two more weeks until I have to turn another one down. At least I know in 20 years they’ll all be like, “I asked out a guy...oops.”

Steven: Tough luck.

Lucas: That is what you get for being a transexual.  

Tom: Sure...

Lucas: You know they can help you with that here.

Caleb: You’re good Tom. We’re not going to treat you for that here.

(Tom appears visibly in pain)

Caleb: What’s up? You look like you’re in pain?

Tom: No, it’s ok. I’m not in too much pain.

Caleb: What’s going on?

Tom: Is there anyway I could talk to Andy about it? He already sort of knows.

Andy: Of course, I’m here.

Tom: Remember those leggings…

Andy: Well it would be kind of hard to forget them.

Tom: I think that I injured myself by using them in the way that I said I’d use them…

Andy: We can give you pain killers, but that would have to go through Dr. Sellers and I saw what happened earlier today with Dr. Sellers I don’t think you want to explain what happened to her. We can give you ice and you can lay down without contacting her.

Tom: I like option number 2.

Andy: I am going to  get one of the nurses from another unit to check it out for you, because if there’s any bruising, we’ll have to tell someone.

Tom: Ok

Andy: You can head to your room.  (black out)

Act 1 Scene 8

Andy: It is visitation time.

Tom: It is so nice to see you Dan! I need to tell you about the antigay monster ISIS killing bounty hunter.

Dan: That’s a real person.

Tom: Yeah (points to Lucas)

Dan: Wow. The things you learn in a mental hospital.

Tom: That’s nothing, you haven’t met drug lesbian yet.

Dan: Yes, I have met drug lesbian..

Tom: No…

Dan: That is our drug lesbian

Tom: The one you tried to set me up with via twitter. I forgot. Yeah and we’re sharing a room so I guess it escalated quickly.

Dan: When I set you up I pictured you two sharing a room in a very different way.

Tom: I am so glad that I told you I wasn’t interested.

Dan: You at least are sharing a room together. I got to share a room with my ex on the school trip.

Tom: And how did that go for you?

Dan: He spent the whole time on the floor of the hotel room crying and  staying as far away from me as possible.

Tom: Exactly. Can I complain?

Dan: Go for it.

Tom. My back is broken.

Dan: Are you binding again?

Tom: Eh…(Tom shurgs)

Dan: What did I tell you! You’re not supposed to do that! Bad Tom! Bad Tom! No. You do not do that. You know that when people try to bind their breasts to make them look smaller it can go wrong.

Tom: It is not as bad as the last injury. I was in bed for like three days.

Dan: Yes and I covered for you. “Jayne’s just home sick with the flu and this poor little innocent..”

Tom: I get it.

Dan: So I couldn’t come empty handed. I brought you something. (Dan has a gift bag and hands it to Tom)

Tom: What! No.

Dan: Yes.

(Tom opens the gift bag)

Tom: Flowers, oh these are so sweet.

Dan: Read the little card.

Tom: “Keep faith and remember the Lord is there for you. You shall persevere, the Lord is your Shepherd” That is so nice. I really appreciate the religious touch. It is nothing like at home where we go to church and God is a positive thing in people’s lives. Here, it’s another excuse to discriminate. You’d think at a Catholic facility you’d get all the benefits of faith but you don’t always.

Dan: Well I’m glad you liked it. I was debating on whether or not to add the religious stuff, but I’m glad I did.

(Tom pulls something else out. It looks like a white crop top.)

Tom: What?! Is this what I think it is?

Dan: Yes it is what you think it is.

Tom: Oh my gosh. How could you have afforded this? How did you get it? Where did you get it?

Dan: Well, I’ve heard you complain enough about back pain and I’ve seen the bruising, you needed a binder so you could do it right and not hurt yourself. I got it from a manufacturer online and it is in your size and double checked and they shipped it to me. Consider it a late Christmas gift from all your friends at home. You have had a sucky Christmas, but we pooled our money together to get you a gift that is really special.

Tom: Thank you so much, I don’t know what to say. I really appreciate it. It helps to know there are people at home who accept me.

Dan: Of course. Don’t try to push that unto your parents though.

Tom: I won’t but thank you so much.

Dan: Of course and speaking about your parents, don’t wear this in front of them.. They’ll know.

Tom: I’m not that stupid.

Dan: And only wear it for 8 hours at a time, pick one day a week not to wear it. Don’t exercise in it and if it is too tight we can take it back and exchange it.

Tom: I’m overjoyed by this. (Tom starts crying)

Dan: You know, real men aren’t supposed to show emotion.

Tom: You know, I’m too much of a feminist to believe that.

Dan: I know. I just say that to bug you.

(Dan and Tom hug.)

Dan: There is one more thing in there.

(Tom reaches in the bag and pulls out a banana)

Dan: I can't give you everything, but I figured it was the thought that counts.

Tom: Yeah. I will enjoy the thought behind this banana.

(Tom and Dan exit, expect Tom to change into the binder)

Julia: It is so nice to see you.

Visitor: It is nice to see you too.

Julia: So, did you bring what I told you to?

Visitor: (visitor pulls out a bag) I did. So here is the make up. I brought the flour too. I brought the beach balls and of course this…(holds up extra visitor pass)

(Julia exits with her visitor)

Ariel: I can’t stand it in here.

Mother: I know honey.

Ariel: It is just so closed off and I can’t do anything. I miss being at home with you and my friends.

Mother: When you get out we can have all of your friends over.

Ariel: Thank you. Why did you cut off my communication?

Mother: Because I don’t want to stress about what’s going on back at home.

Ariel: I know but putting me in here must have cost a lot of money that we don’t have. It’s not like our business makes a lot of money and what about Cameron. Does he have an actual job or is he still working the business.

Mother: The business is an actual job.

Ariel: It’s not a legal job. And it doesn’t make as much as if he put that medical degree to work.

Mother: We have what we have. And it isn’t illegal. It is perfectly legal. You know that don’t call it what it isn’t. You should be grateful that you at least get your share of the product.

Ariel: I know it is legal but only because you exploit the loopholes. I know Detroit has hit rock bottom, but I’m sure Cameron can get a job somewhere to pay the right way.

Mother: Look, if you keep talking I’m going to have to take your grass away.

Ariel: Look I’ll shut up if you give me some. I know you always have some on you.

Mother: Fine, but this is only if you promise you’ll work hard at your treatment.

Ariel: Of course I will. (Mother hands Ariel the blunts) (May have to improvise if Dan and Tom do not enter on time, when they go onstage they continue to mimic conversation)

(Dan and Tom enter again)

Tom: Oh my gosh, this is amazing. I can’t believe that it fits so well.

Dan: It is much better than what you were doing.

Tom: A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Dan: Yeah, I don’t think you’re being masculine...whatever that means by hurting yourself

Tom: Well looking in the mirror hurts more.

Dan: Yeah, and I enjoy seeing the resident bruises on your back.

Tom: They weren’t that bad.

Dan: “I know Mrs. Carlisle. See Jayney has the flu. I know poor thing. She had a temperature of 101 and can’t keep a meal down. Poor deary.”

Tom: That was just once.

Dan: “And Jayne…”

Tom: I get it. Shut up.

Dan: I’m just saying this is much safer. How does it feel?

Tom: I can breathe which is amazing. It doesn’t hurt, which is amazing.

Dan: And…

Tom: And my chest is nonexistent. Like look at this. Nothing. I didn’t think it was possible to hold back anything larger than a D cup but this has proved me wrong. And you can check, but I doesn’t feel like it is adding to the bruising, which is great.

Dan: Is it comfortable?

Tom: It is better than a bra, sports or otherwise. I look great, feel great. Man, I look better than Leonardo Dicaprio in the Titantic. That’s what all the girls are into, right?

Dan: Yeah, but you don’t quite reach Leo status. You do beat Ryan Gosling in the Notebook.

Tom: So I’m still doing pretty good if I beat that.

Dan: Eh…

Tom: Look, you’re my friend, you’re supposed to not be attracted to me enough that you can’t judge my level of attractiveness

Dan: True, I do think of you as a friend, but you look attractive.

Tom: Tell me truly, if you saw me on the street today and you had never seen me before, if you were to make assumptions, would you assume that I’m a guy or a girl.

Dan: Definitely a guy, no judgments about it.

Tom: That’s great. You have no idea how happy I am.

Dan: Well, I can sure tell that you’re happy.

Tom: Thank you. again.

Dan: Of course, Tom.

Tom: Even hearing you call me Tom makes me feel great. You know, the binder itself isn’t what is important or thoughtful. It is that I have a whole group of people waiting at home to support me.

Dan: Yeah, we’re here. And you know what the binder comes free with...right?

Tom: What?

Dan: “You know Jayne just got a super effective minimizer bra...It is this new look, less is more and it is a futuristic white crop top. I figured it would go perfectly with her black skirt to create a polished look.”

Tom: Thank you..

(Tom and Dan mimic conversation. Julia and her visitor enter. Julia has white hair, makeup on so she looks older and is in an old granny dress and has inflated beach balls for breasts.)

Julia: Hello, I am Julia’s grandmother and I’m ready to leave.

Visitor: And I am a friend of Julia’s.

Andy: May I see your visitor's badges?

Julia: Yep.

(Julia and her visitor exit the stage)

Steven: Honey, it’s so great to see you.

Girlfriend: It is so great to see you too. How are you doing?

Steven: I’m doing ok.

Girlfriend: How is the anxiety going.

Steven: I actually talked to people today. I talked about you.

Girlfriend: That is great. I’m happy. Did you get into any fights?

Steven: Well I did, but I didn’t start it. Some kid called one of the staff members a slur and I couldn’t just sit there.

Girlfriend: I know it is hard, but you’ve got to try to not fight back ok.

Steven: Ok. I made you something. (Steven holds up the heart he made her)

Girlfriend: That is so sweet of you. (Steven and his girlfriend hug)

Dan: So gender identity disorder is actually a disorder.

Tom: It is. It is in the diagnostic guide for psychological disorders.

Dan: So if you’re weren’t mentally ill, you’d still be mentally ill.

Tom: Yeah. There’s actually ‘late onset’ gender identity disorder, which I guess is me.

Dan: It just means that you’ll surprise everybody.

Tom: I know. My face is already shocking. My body is shocking..

Andy: There has been an escape attempt of Julia Lesson. Anybody who sees Julia Lesson please stop her. She is in an old dress and has white hair and an unusually large bust. Please stop Julia Lesson.

(Julia is brought in by Caleb who is dragging her by the arm to center stage where he meets Andy)

Andy: Really? You thought that I wouldn’t find out about the visitor pass you stole off of Caleb. We are in constant and I mean constant communication.

Caleb: Yes….We are very tight knit and this was not going to get past us!

Andy: Very very tight knit!

Caleb: You have no idea!

Lucas: (from offstage) Oh yes we do!

Caleb: Shut up Lucas or else I will give you the booty juice again!

Andy: Your behavior is completely unacceptable!

Caleb: If you had exited the hospital doors we would have called the police on you and they probably would have arrested you! Is that what you want?

Andy: And you,(to visitor)  encouraged this. You helped with this plan! Your visitation rights have been revoked! (Caleb dramatically tears the visitation badge off)

Caleb: Julia. You have lost all outside communication rights until

(Dr. Sellers walks in and it becomes the parting of the Red Sea. Her grace is unrivaled and her poise stops both Caleb and Andy in their tracks and creates a deadly silent and harsh atmosphere)

Dr. Sellers: Could I meet with Julia?

Andy: Yes, of course.

Dr. Sellers: Continue on as you were.

Andy: Alright everybody, you heard the lady, continue on.

Lucas: It is so nice to see you, Matt. So what have I missed?

Matt: You’ve missed a lot of soccer games. Everybody at school is worried about you.

Lucas: Well, where do they think I am?

Matt: They think you’re in the hospital, not the mental hospital.

Lucas: Look, I might not be out in time to stay on the team but I will at least be out in time for the dance with the all girls school.

Matt: You didn’t hear did you?

Lucas: What?

Matt: There was an expulsion at the all girl’s school and at our school.

Lucas: What happened?

Matt: So at the all girls school they found a lesbian. She got expelled because obviously she was a lesbian.

Lucas: Alright! Got one of those gays out of the system. We don’t need a lesbian at our dance. She’d probably steal girls from us.

Matt: We don’t need them . Exactly. But somebody from our school got expelled. You know Tryston?

Lucas: of course. He was on our team,

Matt: He got expelled.

Lucas: What for?

Matt: He stood up for her on facebook. A bunch of people were bullying her and he went on facebook and told them to stop.

Lucas: You have to be harsh on things like homosexuality to stop the epidemic.

Matt: I know but I feel that was too harsh.

Lucas: When it comes to something like that, it is important to be harsh. It is a terrible thing

Matt: Ok but…Look at the numbers. There’s gotta be somebody at our school who is…

Lucas: Look around you. Everybody here is gay.

Matt: That’s an exaggeration.

Lucas: Ok, fine. Everybody here except for Steven and I are gay. I need a break. It is just disgusting to see all these gays here. This is what happens to them. They either are mentally ill and sent here or they get AIDS and die. I am the only one with any vision. And because of that vision I am sent here.

Matt: Ok man, I get it. Chill. So you know Rachel. You should ask her out man.

Lucas: Will she even like me? I mean, she’s gorgeous and smart and I’m, well….

Matt: You’re definitely good looking enough for her.

Lucas: Good looking isn’t everything.  You know that.

Matt: I know but I think she likes you. You really have a chance.

Lucas: (Looking deeply into Visitor #2’s eyes) But she is a beauty in heart mind and soul. So beautiful that I can’t get her out of my head all the time and (Lucas leans closer) and I think I’m in love...I’m in love with….(Lucas appears extremely anxious and is moving his hands) I think I love…

Julia: I’m back at square one.

Vistor #1: We’ll find another way.

Andy: Thank you so much for finding Julia. I really appreciate it.

Caleb: Of course! Man, I never regret this job. Everyday I’m thankful.  I’m so happy that..

Tom: (In unison with Caleb)( I’m so happy that) at least if I get kicked out my house I’ll have friends. You know what. I might burn in hell but man, I’ll at least have a lot friends there.

Andy: Visitation hours are over! (Blackout)

End of Act 1

Act 2 Scene 1

Andy: So it is the end of the evening, so all of you owe me your journals. I see all of you have your journals except for Tom.

Tom: I’m sorry (Unfolds a crumpled piece of paper)

Andy: Oh, that’s fine. Everybody has to share their topic, but you don’t have to share what you have written unless you want to. Alex, you’ve been here the longest, do you want to go first?

Alex: I wrote about times when I have felt abandoned.

Andy: That is very good and very treatment related. Lucas, do you want to go next?

Lucas: I wrote a few letters to some of the patients here and I wrote a letter to Caleb. I’d prefer if Caleb read the information of that is ok.

Andy: You’re good, though, you know I’ll hear about it tonight anyway.

Lucas: I don’t want you to know because you’ll treat me differently. I don’t think your case it would be in a negative way, as you would fully understand why I have acted the way I have in many situations. But I rather have one of you judging me than two of you judging me.

Andy: I really try not to judge patients, but ok. You can give it to Caleb later and he can mark you down. Ariel...do you want to share yours?

Ariel: Sure… I wrote about Oliver. I actually wrote ten things I have learned from my little brother Oliver.

1. I have learned that happiness depends on how you see your situation. If you keep optimistic, you’ll be happy.

2. The important things in life aren’t work. They are spending time with the people who matter the most to us.

3. Everything's better with chocolate.

4. Bad things happen to very good people.

5. It is ok to be you, even if you’re scared that the world will reject you

6. It is better to be honest to other people than to lie to others

7. We have very little time here so don’t be afraid to fail.

8. Sometimes not understanding the things that are going around you is a plus

9. Do not fear death. It will make dying easier.

10. Cancer never wins.

That is what I wrote about him.

Andy: That was very brave of you to share with us. Thank you. Julia, it’s your turn. What did you write about?

Julia: I wrote about ways to deal with distorted thinking. Here (Hands Andy the notebook. Andy puts it aside)

Andy: Steven.

Steven: I wrote about five things that piss me off. And I’ll be happy to share  so that nobody pisses me off again.

1. When people are fake

2. When people discriminate

3. When people put words in my mouth

4. When people assume things about me

5. When I’m sad and people judge me for having that emotion

That’s it.

Andy: Do you want to read yours to us Julia?

Julia: No thank you. You can have it.

Andy: Ok, thanks. That leaves us to you Tom. What have you written for us today?

Tom: It is not what I have written, no. It is what the great scholars of the past have written. I have memorized a monologue from Hamlet. I feel it is a reflection on my suicide attempt and my ideas of life and death. Shakespeare describes the depths of my soul without me ever penning new words. This monologue, though famous stems from the pondering of the quick burst of life and the eternal nothingness of death. So, here it goes. (Tom goes to Shakespeare mode, like he is an experienced Shakespearean actor he recites the monologue with confidence)  To be, or not to be--that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--No more--and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep-- To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause. There's the respect That makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely The pangs of despised love, the law's delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of th' unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life,But that the dread of something after death, The undiscovered country, from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprise of great pitch and moment With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action. Be all my sins remembered.

Andy: Wow, that is a lot different than anything I expected. You did prepare something. Wow.

Lucas: I am quite impressed with your Shakespeare abilities. May I call you the grand Shakespeare master.

Tom: Yes, yes you may. That's much better than calling me Jayne.

Lucas: I have a great interest in Shakespeare. Its very nice to meet someone else who does.

Andy:So here is the list of people who have gained extra free time. Alex, Lucas, Ariel, Steven, and Julia have all earned their free time for the evening. If you were not called you can ask why and then go to bed.

Tom: Hey, why wasn’t I on there?

Andy: I’m sorry. We found out there was bruising on your back and we had to tell Dr. Sellers. Dr. Sellers took it as self harm because you  hurt yourself, though I know better and I know it was an accident.

Tom: Thank you. It’s ok.

Andy: I’m sorry again. I know it isn’t fair.

Tom: Bad things happen to good people. Good night.

Andy: Good night.

Act 2 Scene 2.

Tom: Why are you going to bed early?

Ariel: I’m tired. It’s been a long day.

Tom: It has been a long day.

Andy: Hey, I have the meds.  Tom, you have 100mg of trazodone, 10mg of lexapro, vitamin D and viarruel. Does that sound about right?

Tom: Yep. (Tom takes the meds from Andy and swallows the with water)

Andy: So Ariel, you have 150mg of wellburtin, 5 grams of Librium and 150mg of trazodone?

Ariel: Yes. I’ll take it. (Ariel takes the pills and puts them under her tongue and pretends to sip the water)

Andy: Thank you. (Andy exits) (Ariel spits out the pill into a waste can)

Tom: Why are you doing that?

Ariel: Why are you taking your medication?

Tom: Because without it I can’t sleep. I cannot get better without it. Because I have a neurochemical imbalance that cannot be fixed without it.

Ariel: Whatever.

Tom: No, not whatever.

Ariel: Yeah whatever. I don’t need the meds.

Tom: Yes, you do.

Ariel: In a few weeks when I’m out of here I will be able to be in Oregon with my girlfriend and I won’t need any medications.

Tom: Yeah, and will you still be depressed.

Ariel: I don’t know but I’ll have all of my drugs.

Tom: You’ve got to get clean.

Ariel: I know, but will taking more drugs help.

Tom: Well let’s look at your medications. I know that wellbutrin is sometimes used with withdrawal for smoking. And trazodone is used to make you sleep. What about your other meds?

Ariel: They’re for withdrawal. I’m out though. I’m going to be in the bathroom. (Ariel exits)

(Andy and Caleb are  extreme stage left mimicking conversation, Tom walks up to them)

Tom: Hi.

Caleb: What’s up?

Tom: I know I sound like a tattle tale but Ariel isn’t doing so hot.

Caleb: Ok what is going on?

Tom: When Andy gave her the pills she spit them out. She left in the middle of our conversation and I am pretty concerned.

Andy: We’ll make sure she gets help.

(Tom sits on the bed, Ariel is far stage right. Caleb and Andy go to far stage right to talk with Ariel who is smoking marijuana)

Andy: Ariel…

Ariel: Do you want some?

Andy: No. I don’t want any. Thank you.

Ariel: Oh, ok… I’m going to continue on then.

Caleb: No you’re not going to.

Ariel: It’s legal. I got it from a medical dispensary.

Andy: It says on your medication list that you do not have access to medical marijuana.

Ariel: Well it doesn’t say I have access to caffeine but nobody is going to stop me.

(Caleb tears the marijuana out of her hand)

Caleb: I’m sorry but I’m going to have to get rid of this. Do you have anymore?

Ariel: No,

Andy: Ok, but if you don’t have any you want to hand over we’re going to have to search your room.

Ariel: This is unfair and a complete invasion of privacy.

Andy: I’m sorry, but it is protocol. (on walkie talkie)  There’s going to be a room search in room 504. If you could come down there that would be great.

(Ariel Andy and Caleb go towards the room. Dr. Sellers enters stage left. and heads to the bathroom)

Dr.Sellers: I’m sorry. I’m going to have to search your stuff Tom. I don’t think you’re hiding anything but we still have to check.  (Dr. Sellers goes through the bag and finds clothing, deodorant and stumbles across parts of the patterned leggings.) What is this?

Tom: Well it’s a combination night mask and binder. The legs I tie over my face to block out the light and that part is used to bind.

Dr. Sellers: So you have your self harm weapon right here and a piece of fabric that you could tie around your neck and straggle yourself with?

Tom: The fake binder isn’t a weapon against anything except for my gender dysphoria.

Dr. Sellers: Then why did you have bruises covering your back?

Tom: Because when binding goes wrong it can do that to you.

Dr. Sellers: I am taking that and the legs away so you’re not tempted to hurt yourself.

Tom: Ok.

(Dr. Sellers pulls out the binder from the bag)

Dr. Sellers What’s this?

Tom: It’s my mom being silly. She packed me a crop to go with the black skirt in there. (Dr. Seller’s checks the tag on the ‘crop top’)

Dr. Sellers: GC2B? It’s cute, it’s something that I would wear. I have this green sweater it would go perfect with it.

Tom: Yeah, it's an Argentinian company. In Spanish it’s gato, camello y dos ballenas.

Caleb: Oh my gosh, I buy from them all the time.

Dr. Sellers: I’m going to have to start buying there. (Dr. Sellers puts the ‘crop top’ back)

Andy: I think I found them. (Caleb takes out a plastic zip lock out of the flower vase with flowers)

Dr. Sellers: I will take those and get rid of them. Ariel, you need to come with me. (Dr. Sellers and Ariel exit)

(Caleb starts laughing)

Caleb: gato, camello y dos ballenas. I have no idea what that means but you’re a genius.

Andy: I am so glad that something finally went your way. You’ve had a rough day.

Tom: Hey, this is what happens when you are out and open.

Caleb: Not to everybody.

Tom: You got called the worst slur today.

Caleb: I wasn’t talking about me. I was talking about Andy.

Andy: I don’t know, I just handle things differently than you do. It’s a personality thing.

Caleb: Yeah, it’s very true. You’re much more serious and logical. I guess I’m less serious and very bubbly.

Tom: I can learn a lot from you two. You guys look like you’re both at identity synthesis which is three steps ahead of me. I’m at identity tolerance.

Caleb: Thank you, I guess I have never had a patient use a psychological model to describe where I am in life.

Andy: Nor have I. I want you to know that we’re all looking out for you Tom. I know Dr. Sellers isn’t looking to help you with your gender identity issues. But we’re here for you.

Caleb: We made a deal. You haven’t reported me to Dr. Sellers yet.

Tom: How do you live so openly knowing Dr. Sellers is so strict?
Andy: Well, we hide like anybody else does.

Tom: What happens if she find out?

Andy: At worse, she fires us. At best, she forgets anything ever happened. It is what it is and I can’t do anything about it.

Caleb: All we can do is hope for the best.

Tom: Well if anything happens I’ll vouch for your striaghtness. I mean, I might not be the best person to do that, but I am willing. But again, thank you.

Caleb: We’re done for the day. Thank you.

Andy: Have a nice evening.

Tom: You too.

(Andy and Caleb exit stage left) (Ariel enters from stage left)

Tom: I’m sorry they found your weed.

Ariel: No, it’s ok. They’re just trying to help. I get that, but it’s hard to beat the habit.

Tom: It’ll get better.

Ariel: Yeah, I told you about my girlfriend and about how I’m going to move away with her.

Tom: Of course.

Ariel: I’ll be legally an adult in a few months and then I can do what I want. I’ll be all the way Oregon.

Tom: I hope you find a future that makes you happy.

Ariel: What do you want to do when you’re out of here.

Tom: Well, I’ll continue on with all my college level classes and I will hopefully continue on to double major in college.  English and Spanish degrees. After that I plan on moving either to an impoverished neighborhood in the Southwest United States or I’ll move to Argentina and I’ll teach Spanish and English.

Ariel: Woah, we have very different ideas in mind. You’re smart, why don’t you go away and make a ton of money?

Tom: Money isn’t worth anything. Real wealth is found in the fulfillment of helping others. I’d be richer in poverty than I would be with a mansion.

Ariel: So you would choose to be poor?

Tom: Yeah, teachers don’t make any money. But I’ll be rich because I’ll be able to know that I make a difference.

Dr. Sellers: It’s lights out time. (Blackout)

Act2 Scene 3

. Sellers: If you could wait right there I need to talk to Julia for just a few more minutes.

Dr. Sellers: How are you today?

Tom: I’m great. I’m happy. The sun is shining. The birds are singing and everything in the world is beautiful. There are daisies in green pastures who could ask for anything more?

Dr. Sellers:

Lucas: Hi, so group rules. No numbers as in weight or calories. Do not glorify sex, drugs or violence. Do not interrupt anybody. This group is talk about our problems and Caleb and Andy are here to facilitate. No talking religion and politics. No shoulds instead say coulds. No discrimination based on things that you cannot change or choose not to change such as religion, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, and gender identity.

Andy: Well then, let’s start group.

Lucas: Well, as  many of you know, I’m in love with a girl named Rachel.

Tom: Yes, we are all well aware that you like this girl.

Lucas: It isn’t just the normal I like you type thing. No I think that I am in love.

Andy: Is this going to be related to your treatment.

Caleb: Just let him talk, ok. Trust me.

Lucas: Thank you Caleb. Now I have thought this over and I realize because of Rachel I am going to hell.

Steven: Did you do it before marriage...Is that why you’re going to burn in hell.

Tom: Yeah, normally falling in love with a gal isn’t that big of a deal. I mean you have said all good things about her.

Lucas: No, I did not do it before marriage but I have been inspired to the tell the truth about Rachel since Caleb has been out in the open with me and Tom has become a friend a friend of mine I figured I’d have to say a few things about Rachel. Though I saw her during visitation hours and she asked me to the dance, I declined.

Tom: Why did you decline man? You couldn’t have. I know her. She’s great. She even does opera...and soccer.

Lucas: I do not love Rachel. I love someone who plays soccer with me, is there for me when I need it, the person I sit with at lunch everyday, the person who is only a phone away when my intrusive thoughts get bad. I have never fallen in love with her, but I have with another individual. His name is Matt. One of the parts of therapy with intrusive thoughts and OCD is facing the fears you have. When I came here I couldn't sit a moment without the fear that God was watching me. I always feared that a gain eye was watching me and that no matter what I would do in life to try to serve God I would die and be sentenced to the eternal flames. Now that I've spent more time here I am even more afraid that hell will be where I belong during the eternal afterlife. I know that I am going to have to face the flames. Tom has taught me something important though. It is not the flames to fear, but a lack of closeness with God. The Lord never abandons those who love Him. So though my mind is constantly preoccupied with hell and hatred, I know that I will at least have a few friends in hell. Caleb has taught me to embrace the fact that I am a homosexual. Through him being open to everybody here, I have learned that it is ok to be a homosexual. I am who I am. Andy, you have taught me a great lesson in how to come out. I guess the best way to be is to be quiet and not wave rainbow flags on rooftops. Instead, don't let it define you, live the life you were meant to and go on with normalcy.  I owe many of you apologies for my unjust actions. So I wrote a few letters. They are much different than the last set of letters I have sent to you.  Ariel (Lucas hands Ariel a letter) I am deeply sorry for things I have said to you.)

Ariel: It’s ok.

Lucas: Alex (he hands Alex a letter) I am sorry that I have psychologically projected unto you. I am also sorry that my attempts to convert you to Christianity were taken the wrong way.

Alex; Thank you.

Lucas: Julia (he hands a letter to Julia) I am sorry that my unwillingness to accept you and myself lead to more stress for you.

Julia: I’d be stressed out either way.

Lucas: Tom (he hands a letter to Tom) I’m sorry. I’ve probably talked to you the most out of all the patients though you’ve been here the shortest. I appreciate your willingness to try and understand my situation. I also would like to talk more about Shakespeare if we have more time.

Tom: I’d love to. Shakespeare is a passion of mine.

Steven: Why didn’t I get a letter? I got into a fight with you and you should owe me something.

Lucas: I will at some point write you a letter, but you are the one straight guy.  

Steven: I know.

Lucas: Now I shall go on to embrace my homosexuality. I shall shave my legs and go to shop at H&M as Caleb has taught me to do.

Andy: It’s ok to be a bear. You don’t have to be a twink.

Caleb: But Lucas can make his own choices. If he wants to express himself in a particular fashion then he can.

Lucas: Yes, and I really want to get rid of this leg hair.

Tom: I’ll see you in hell Lucas.

Lucas: Yes, see you in hell.

Tom: Are you scared?

Lucas: Of course I am scared. I am scared of burning in hell, I’m scared to go to school, I’m scared to go to church, I’m scared of my family, I’m scared of being alone for the rest of my life. I am scared of just about everything.

Alex: I am too. Especially after the stabbing at my school. I am not safe at my school, yet I still have to go anyway.

Julia: I’m scared. I mean I’m scared of many things, but I know what it feels like to be afraid.

Ariel: I have been scared for 5 years. I have been scared since Oliver went away.

Tom: Look at what society has done to us. It has made us scared. It has taught you hate, it has taught you fear and hasn’t dared to teach you love.

Steven: I’m scared. (pause) I have told everybody here that I’ve been sent here for depression and anger issues. I guess that is true but that isn’t the whole story. I don’t only have football concussions to blame. I’m here because before I was here I was scared and alone. My best friend killed himself and I blamed myself for it. When someone kills themselves the hurt they were feeling and their suffering is released to everyone close to them. I am suffering from his pain. But one death of someone close to me that week wasn’t enough. My grandfather, whom I was close with died in his sleep. I couldn’t cope with all the loss and I became suicidal myself. Of course I want to blame the concussions. The concussions may have made it worse but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I’m grieving.

Andy: I am very sorry for your loss.

Julia: I knew your friend and I think it was hard for everyone when he died. He was always really cheerful and nobody would have known that he had been suffering.

Steven: It’s just if I had known I could have saved him. It’s my fault that he died.

Julia: Don’t tell yourself that lie, even for a minute. He was determined and nobody could have saved him. You couldn’t have done anything to save him even if you had tried. I’m sorry, but nobody could have saved him.

Steven It’s just I was so close and I saw him the day he did it and I wish I could have said something. That day keeps replaying in my head as though I could have done something.

Julia: If someone is determined to kill themselves they aren't going to be stopped, even by proper therapy. You are powerless.

Steven: Thank you Julia. You have been the first person to be there for me. I appreciate it.

Ariel: When Oliver died, I felt like I should have been able to save him, but I couldn’t have. I know that the cancer couldn’t have been stopped. At his funeral, there was a clip of him saying “In the end, cancer never wins” and that clip keeps replaying in my head. Because the cancer did win.

Lucas: Or did it? I can’t see your little brother anywhere else but in heaven.

Ariel: Thank you (Ariel begins to cry)

Julia: Loss is universal. We’ve all faced it. It sucks, but we shall overcome.

Alex: How do you keep such a positive attitude Julia?

Julia: I don’t know, but I manage to.

Ariel: We need that positivity.