A Fool's Errand

Heen

            I paced back and forth in front of the palace steps, growing more anxious with each step. Periodically I stopped and glanced over the shadowy forest, hoping that one would reveal the subject of my searching. I wandered throughout the forest searching for her earlier, but yielded nothing. By now it would have been reasonable to know better. If I was to be the master trickster, then she was to be the master of disguise. She could hide in the lightest of shadows and never be seen, hence earning the name Shadow. I was interrupted from my brooding thoughts by a laugh I’d grown to recognize. I looked up to see the Queen watching me from the top step; a teasing smile playing on her lips. “She has surprisingly not awakened yet. Silver Axe worked her hard yesterday in her training, a feat I was not sure that was possible for a dwarf his age.” I felt my face heat up at once and ducked my head ashamed. “I will tell her you came, if you wish.” Queen Atanais softened her voice, erasing the previously teasing tone. Raising my head enough to make eye contact, I quietly thanked her, bowed, then headed towards the palace grounds to think. It became my sanctuary in times of need. Today was slowly becoming one of those days, much to my chagrin.

I passed my time in the aged branches of the towering elm tree that stood as one of the great guardians of the palace grounds. I allowed my eyes to close and listened to the breeze as it casually waltzed through. It was here that I hid, not only for the stilling calmness, but for the vantage point it gave. Gazing across the grounds, I saw a flickering in the shadows. I quietly started to lower myself the lower hanging branches; from the shadows emerged their queen, warily watching for any signs of my trickery. Experience had made her wise indeed. A smile played on my lips. Seeing no potential threats, Shadow crossed the grounds to the edge of the lake and carefully lowered herself to the ground. I jumped the last few feet onto the ground, careful not to give away my position.

 Cautiously, I began to approach where she sat. As I began to close the gap between her and I, Shadow passed a hand wearily over her face. Silver Axe must being working her very hard indeed if she's this tired. I called out to her in a teasing voice, unable to keep the smile off of my face.

“Wary as ever I see. I assume the Queen put in a good word, considering you only come out of the shadows at her bidding.” She arose and turned to face me, grinning slightly at my taunt.

 “Good tidings, Heen. Word has it that you have been scouring the forest for me, if I recall correctly.” I dropped my gaze from her face to my feet. Sharp as ever. There is no fooling her, or Atanais. I am not sure if she has caught on quite yet, but knowing her, it will be soon. I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks.

“Scouring would not be the word I would have used. You have an uncanny ability of hiding, unseen in the lightest of shadows. Even I cannot find you.” I muttered the tail end of my sentence, but looked up again. “There is a reason why you were named with the name you have you know. I was there the night Queen Atanais found you. It was as if you had appeared out of the very shadows themselves, which was something that very few had ever heard of.” Her face turned into a mask of paralyzing shock. I might have well just told her I loved her.

 “What are you saying?” Her words barely came out more than a whisper.

 “Do not be so hurt, I was merely informing you of my presence there. Do not think of me as your enemy. I am far from it.”  I looked over Shadow’s shoulder to see the Queen approaching slowly towards us. Tonight was the night the Queen was to tell Shadow the truth. It was not that we had lied to her; we just withheld what little we knew. If Shadow had known the whole truth, she would have left us long ago. The pain of that though erupted from my chest, burning me more furiously than demon fire. I turned away from Shadow and strode across the grounds and letting the forest engulf me. Things are changing, Shadow. I want you prepared for what lies ahead.

I needed to clear my head before tonight, but I knew from the start that it was a fool’s errand. I shook my head and wondered what about that human child had me so entranced. Just thinking about her made me realize how much more I loved her.  I remembered the night I found her, limp and unconscious in the arms of Queen Atanais. She was just a small child, no older than eight. I could not fathom how she survived the Unforgiving Ranges, especially in her feeble condition. Burns, bruises, and several deep cuts covered her tiny body. I always wondered where she came from and what had befallen on her people. My village healer had taught me well from my apprenticeship, but that was before everything was destroyed by one of the most infamous bands of fire demons. My blood still boiled at the thought. The grief fueled rage stirred quietly from deep within. None of my training prepared me for the extent of healing Shadow. At the time, I accredited her recovery to sheer fate, but now I was not so sure. I shook my head, in a feeble attempt to clear my head once more. I looked to the sky and watched the pink streaks fade from a dying day. I knew I needed to return to the palace. Queen Atanais asked for Eilra, Silver Axe and I to be there. Most likely for Shadow I suppose. We are her most trusted inner circle. Standing for a moment longer, I inhaled the fresh scent of the forest before exhaling and trudging back the way I came.

I stood towards the back of the war chamber alongside Eilra and Silver Axe, wary of the events that were to come. I barely listened to the Queen, until she motioned for us to proceed forward. As I collapsed into the plush chair next to Eilra, Shadow watched me with an expression that I had not seen since the beginning of her time with us. It broke my heart as I cleared my face of any emotion and hung my head. I listened to the Queen as she recanted our intertwined history. Unable to take the grief that hung in the room in a cloud, ready to burst at any given moment, I roughly knocked back the chair I was seated in and stormed out of the room. 

I wove through the halls, not caring where I went. Somehow I had managed to reach the battlements. I leaned over the edge and struggled to control my raging emotions. Breathing deeply, I could taste the heavy scent of the lunar flowers in full bloom. Their scent was blissfully calming; I could feel my swirling emotions slow. Breathing deeply, the anger and pain continued to subside. After five or six more deep breaths, I felt calmer and more relaxed than I had in ages.

“Heen?”  My heart leapt into my throat as a soft voice called from behind.

“Here." I was not surprised that she had followed me here; an act that seemed to almost become habit.

“You followed me.” I stated simply.

“Naturally.” Her response intrigued me. One might have thought I asked if the sun set from the west and rose in the east.

“Why?” I shifted towards her, slightly turning my head slightly.

 She looked over the battlement, as if something had caught her interest. “You have always been there for me. I would not have survived my first initial months without you and Eilra to light the way. Knowing what I know now, I would have not survived before ever stepping foot here either. Thank you.” She looked up at me; reminding me of the child she once was, innocent and compassionate. I studied her briefly before gently reaching out to embrace her. I held her tightly against my chest, wishing to never let go, to have this moment last. I rested my chin on her head and felt her relax, returning my embrace while resting her forehead against my shoulder.

“When I first came to be the Queen’s court physician so long ago, I had no idea what I was about to get myself into.” Shadow buried her head into my chest and mumbled, “What do you mean?” I chuckled slightly, only to have it come out somewhat broken. “When I found you in the arms of the Queen, as bruised and battered as you were, my heart ripped in two. I knew that you had gone through things that no child should ever go through. To be honest, I doubted my abilities as a healer. I knew your wounds were far above my level of expertise. You, Shadow, are a remarkably strong woman.” I kissed the top of her head and held her. After a few moments, I let her go with a chuckle. She looked up at me with a perplexed expression, further reminding me of her first few months. I haven’t seen her like this since I taught her about herbal medicines. She used to try to fix everything with a hug.  I chuckled again before answering her.

“I’ve forgotten how healing embraces are.” I watched as a blush warmed over her cheeks. Studying her face, I could see the ever present traces of fatigue. Of course she’s fatigued. She needs sleep. “You need rest.”

Shadow sighed and nodded. Instead of melting in the shadows, she paused for a moment and stared, almost as if she was reluctant to leave. My heart leapt at the thought.

“Will you be alright, up here alone?” She glanced up, concern coloring every word. I smiled as I could feel myself blush. Ya runr, I’ve gone soft.

 “With you, I am never alone. But, if it will ease your worry, I will retire myself.” 

Her face grew darker in the moonlight. “Good even, Heen.” She looked up at my face, as if she was still unsure if she wanted to leave or not. My heart grew light as my smile widen.

. “Good even ...  nirr ruya.”  Her face turned darker than a ruby dragon’s hide. I watched her as melted into the shadows and turned my gaze towards the forest as I sighed to myself. I should take my own advice. Anything can happen now.  I straightened and stretched, then proceeded down the stairs and through the maze of hallways. I slipped into my chamber and strode to the bed without bothering to change. For once, in what seemed a life time, I fell asleep with a wide smile fixed upon my lips.