The Unknown Despair

A poem About a deeply embedded despair.....

As the thud of the hammer struck brick,

My heart started matching the beat.

In the world of nought dwelled my cares,

All I could hear was the deafening scars.

A sentence again and again I demolished,

I could no more let my words relish.

As icy smooth the surface of tile was,

As blank was my powers of inspirational cause.

No remedy could be able to cure my disease,

And know my stream of thoughtful income was deceased.

Words were as scattered as the leaves of littering,

Not linked like the chain of a boxing ring.

And again I was pummeled down when the fist reached my face,

Down to the ground I plunged like a failing ace.

And when ten seconds where out,

I still lay there like a pile of grout.

  

Author's Note

I was just sitting and no inspiration was coming all because of that hammer chinking away at tiles. so I decided to write a poem about my despair. So let me know what you think of my first poem.

Reviews

[Christy the Poetic Hear..]

You're amazingly talented!! Nice job!!!

[Write Cat]

Thanks... You really do not know how your comments motivate me...

[Ghania]

Wow. Very nicely penned.
Loved it. :))

[Write Cat]

Thankyou!!!

[Ghania]

U're welcome.

[ROXANE DORSEY]

Thank you for sharing you talents, i love this piece.

[Write Cat]

thanks Roxane!! I enjoyed writing it!

[Esa Ray]

Wow, this is your first poem? Absolutely amazing! And not to mention you're still not at your best when writing this because you're distracted. What more if you're not. :) You're one very talented kid. I love your works. Keep writing! :)

[Write Cat]

Thank you!!!! I will never stop writing!!

[PandaPeaceful]

This was absolutely amazing! Your words made me think and image the situation which was playing at hand. I re-read your poem a couple of times, and every time I did so, I found something new to admire. Greatly done!

[Write Cat]

Thanks!! I am glad you enjoyed it!! I will definitely write some more!!

[PandaPeaceful]

Go for it! You've got talent.

[Write Cat]

Thanks!!!!

[...]

Very beautifuly done. Words into bitter abyss . Creation of honesty and passion. Make me read again. By the way age is not limitation. Mozart wrote his frist opera when he was 12. So keep writing and be brave.

[Write Cat]

Thank you for your support!!! I have a lot to learn in the line of poetry, but i will make everyday count!!!

[...]

You welcome. I gina check out your next piece. Have wonderful inspiration day.

[Write Cat]

OH thanks! I can not wait to publish my next piece!! (it is still in progress)

[Sapientiam]

This is your first poem...? This is very deep and thought-provoking, especially coming from someone who is twelve.

In despair, words seem to lose their substance, becoming hollow, meaningless... I love how you used a "fist" to describe the impact despair can leave. Often times, it can be hard to recover from such a blow that it feels better to stay on the ground. Though, we are defined by how we get back up, not how many times we fall. It is how we grow from despair that matters.

Wonderful job!

[Write Cat]

Oh thank you Sapientiam!! That has encouraged me so much!! I know now that I can do anything if i just try!!
Thanks for commenting!!!