Sashaying to the Gate of the Deceased

In a horrifying situation with no one except instinct Mika is forced to gallivant straight of in the forest which can end in a most horrifying tragedy.......

The crescent moon faded as the eerie winter mist set in, letting the darkness reign in supreme. The wind rose up in a piercing shriek and lashed with it's malicious claws at Mika's ever unraveling cloak. The owl as tsar of the night hovered close by, letting know the trespassers that instantaneous expiry dwelled not too far.But of all these disturbing presences, Mika was aware of none but her failing lungs who carried out gasps of the energy that propelled her feeble feet to move rapidly onward, forever onward. A glimpse backward now could establish itself as fatal. She could hear the treacherous thumping of the running boots behind her. The anguish that her feet seemed to endure as it clambered and tripped over sharp objects and piercing thorns seemed to hold her back relentlessly, an earsplitting blast of lightning left her diving head first into a cave. As soon as her flesh touched the frosty rock though, reflex pounded out of her heart's rhythm and Mika's arm swung out to reach security, but all that her thudding head could sense was the brutal hardness of rock. A sudden pain yelped through her side and ended right beneath her throat, making the raw flesh that was exposed sear right through with ongoing pain and bitterness. A scalding liquid gargled through into her lungs compelling her to belch it out in order to gain breath. Mika fluttered open her eyes only to clamp them shut again. Her burning eyes cried out for water while the less painful hand reached to ease the throbbing agony in her head. She rapidly withdrew as her hand enclosed on a sticky and foul smelling mess. For a second as the lightning flashed bright she could make out the blood which seemed to flood out on the boulders. A lullaby suddenly reeled out of her painful ache and then in a trice there was agony no more, only a peaceful sleep. Had she only looked a while at the roses before entering that fateful doorway, had she only fled to the marshes instead of taking that treacherous forest path, had she only kept quiet instead of letting the world hear her cry of horror, had she only chosen the better alternatives would her life not have sashayed slowly out of grasp and left her behind to face the shadows of the mourning death.   

Author's Note

No matter how many stories I write I always come back to the forest or jungle, it is for me the most mysterious background to put your characters in if you have a lust for thrill. I constantly improve this side of my writing but it would most earnestly help me if I see another person's view of it, please leave your thoughts on this piece and thanks for taking the time to read my story!!!

Reviews

[rylesconroy]

It was an amazing short story. The vocabulary in it is very excelled which I love and I think that's what really keeps you hooked.

[Write Cat]

Thank you!!! I also like it when the vocabulary is excelled!!!

[Emperor Pius Dei]

*rock.

Sorry about that. Gosh I hate this darned intagable phone keyboard.

[Emperor Pius Dei]

This is extremely well written; the tone you've set is hard to pull off, but you nailed if flawlessly. You rack, dude!

[Write Cat]

Thanks!!! I am so glad so many people enjoy it!!

[Kelimar]

I enjoyed the read. I did not expect the ending for it but it was something that would make me want to read more of your writing.

[Write Cat]

Thanks for commenting!! As I said, novels which are thrilling and full of suspense means there has to be some let down somewhere. But i am really horrible at killing characters so.... There is no growth where there is comfort, and there is no comfort where there is growth. Thanks for your support!!

[Rose Hagerty]

Quite interesting. You had me intrigued waiting to see what would happen next and even after finishing reading this there are multiple questions left unanswered. It definitely made me think a bit. Lovely work. The only bit of advice I could give would be to add paragraphs. It would make it a bit easier to read and understand, and it would make the story flow more smoothly.

[Write Cat]

Thanks Rose!! I really don't like "killing" my characters. I decided to try it out because in every novel were there is suspense and thrill someone always has to go.. I will definitely include paragraphs in my next story, thanks for your comment.

[Rose Hagerty]

You definitely made it suspenseful, I was glued to reading this because I wanted to know what would happen to your character. You really built up the tension and the emotion in this, and I would love to see more writing from you in the future :)

[Write Cat]

Thanks so much Rose!!!