Loss Or Victory

My mom is having surgery for lung cancer. This is what the poem is about.

The date is coming sooner then ever.

And my heart is pounding faster and faster.

Your life is in the hands of God now.

What he will choose, it's all up to the master.

People visiting to wish the best of luck.

Or are they really trying to say goodbye?

My mind is trying to block the worrying pain.

But my body is left just trying to stand by.

The mystery of the world right in front of my eyes.

Causing the sickness called depression and misery.

If God could just tell me what happens in the end.

So I can know the outcome of loss or victory.

The crowd isn't breaking the way that I am.

For a seed of the one is always the most scared.

I just sit here and break, waiting for the end.

With my mind in isolation and my body impaired.

Don't take her away yet, it's just to soon.

One parent is already enough to take from me.

But I see her life slipping and once again I'm pained.

Not yet completing school, not yet a degree.

The world is so strange and so is God.

To keep punishing me for what; I don't know.

They say he gives you problems you can handle.

But I'm left with empty hands, nothing to bestow.

Author's Note

Deep from my heart of beating pain.

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

Heart-touching honesty, and a situation summoning the greatest empathy.

I want to say that I don't think God, or Spirit has anything to do w/good or difficult situations, per se. My experience and intuition tell me that God or Spirit is the indwelling grace of Being we all share deep down, a permeative continuum that helps us function as Love under all conditions, when we tap that inner intuition.

God is your Love for your mother and Life, and Life is a great Mystery, exceeding our inevitably temporary forms. Trust and faith, I think, are best regarded as mood attributes of intuited Spirit, not a belief in something or other.

I feel like saying just remember to Love and be brave, because that is the best healing energy for your mother's recuperation, and it is the best under all conditions.

[Dream Weaver]

We may never know the answers to life and death.
What we do know is that there is life and death and
it never seems to pick the right people when it comes
to dying. Example: why do the good die young and
the wicked live forever. I lost my Dad when I was 12
and my mom just a couple of months ago..and
although it’s never easy to accept, it’s all apart of life.
I wish you and your family well…

[.]

that is a raw emotional poem..I hope your celebrating victory soon..

[Kelley]

This was a great poem Gypsy Girl and very heart felt. I can't even Imagen what your going through. I really liked your line....

" For a seed of the one is always the most scared."
That was a great line. And your right God never gives us problems we can't handle.My prayers are with you and your mother. I hope everything turns out ok.

Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart.

Kelley

[Charles]

I can relate to your experience. I lost my mother to cancer but I never allowed myself to believe that she wouldn't make it and neither should you. No matter what you may think, she needs to see that kind of confidence coming from you. It does make a difference.

I don't think I could say anything that would be of any consolation, but my heart aches for you.