Reaper's Call

who knows, honestly.

Here I nurse my mind, scarred with incisions.
Vetting this chaos, I helplessly weep,
loathing myself for my thoughtless actions,
my rues, from crevasses endlessly sleep.

Here they lie, my deepest thoughts and regrets
for surely, I have sabotaged my life.
comfort, I find in glorious sunsets
at dark, deadly thoughts in my mind run rife.

Someone said youth is the hope of tomorrow.
Contrarily, we are grim’s reflection.
To our roots we offer absolute sorrow,
for we’re harbingers of life’s destruction

Upon me, I have brought my own downfall.
at all, I might answer the reapers call.

Reviews

[Voidwvlf]

Sorrowful and heavy. I like it!

You chose your vocabulary well, and I'm always glad to see uncommon words get to stretch their legs.

You, unlike many, managed to stick with a rhyming scheme. Something to be proud of for sure.

In your second verse, the use of sunset imagery implies gathering darkness already, so you could remove "at dark" and simply begin that line with "deadly thoughts", and it would work a bit better.

Well done!

[D Connolly]

Most of the mistakes we make are not the end of the world, although I've done my share of obsessing over my own choices in the dead of night (I'm so sorry to my 2nd grade teacher, Ms. Harrington, I didn't mean all those mean things I said). Joking aside, our pain can be our teacher, and instruct us on how to behave in the future. It's the only way we become better people. My experience is, don't beat yourself up too much, the world will do that for you.

[Inject Positivity]

Very interesting! The title itself has something to tell. I think the choice of words are fabulous, to create a greater impact in the poem. A mind speaking of past mistakes and thinking deep thoughts about life regretting and feeling upset. There is a melancholic feel in it yet a mysterious feeling too...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[katieg]

thank you for the feedback! i actually wrote this for a writing class and wasn't too confident on it, and felt it might be a little too "dark"

[Inject Positivity]

Dark things aren't bad, they have a voice that should be spoken, and you just did that my friend... I think there is honesty when we write our thoughts even if it is dark, there is absolutely nothing wrong, in fact they show that you are tackling your dark thoughts in your own way, as readers it helps us... You should be proud of what you wrote here...