Insanity of Sea

Breath-taking, bone-chilling wind
is a raging wild woman
- hurling handfuls of foam
across these breakwater stones.
She cannot contend with this sea's
snarling, savage mass
of white, frothing energy.

This Lucia di Lammermore

of the waves cannot be controlled

                           

 

Reviews

[J]

I had no idea you were referencing an opera until I looked it up at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucia_di_Lammermoor, and to find out it was about a feud between two families makes sense when used as an analogy for a tempest (and a tempestuous woman) like you have done.The language you've used is broiling yet tightly controlled, with lots of alliteration making this 'roll'. But on a nitpicky note, I think you could take out a couple of commas here and there--that's if you want to 'loosen it up a bit'; but then, this choppiness is in line with the subject matter, so up to you. But the comma after "demented" really needs to go in my honest opinion. Nice intro poem =) J

[Shadow Walker]

I like this it I can see whats going on in the poem

[Poeticpiers]

A powerful piece of writing.The sea is indeed a savage force which cant be controlled. Your peronalisation of the sea is effective.I agree the title is somehow wrong
The sea is not insane merely beyond our power to understand

[Sel Whiteley]

I think that some of the images in this poem are stunning and distinctive. I�ve never seen the sea characterised as an insane woman but I can really imagine that. I love the phonics here too, the alliteration couplets, for instance: �snarling, savage mass,� and �damned, demented bride�. I think perhaps the poem could be sharpened a little by beginning with The wind is a wild woman,Breath-taking, bone-chilling,Hurling handfuls of foamPerhaps you could lose the �white� and �frothing� from the third line of the second stanza as this is a predictable description of the sea, and detracts from the rabid which would be white and frothing. Maybe just:But she cannot contend with this sea's snarling, savage mass tearing itself like a rabid b***h.I agree with J that the comma should be taken out of �damned, demented� and I feel �wind whipped� would be better hyphenated. I think the last stanza is perfect and I'd leave it alone

[Sandra]

This is interesting. I don't think I've ever read anything (about the sea) quite like this before. I like the reference of the wind as a raging wild woman, and the 'brutal tone' throughout this piece. Your use of alliteration was good also- not over done. I'm a fan of the sea's many mysteries and you've captured a wonderful part of that in this well written poem. I had to look up "Lucia di Lammermore" (I'm opera illiterate.. lol). I am however, familiar with the song "Lucia"- does that count? :)
Starting the second stanza with "But" bothers me, yet, I can't seem to come up with a solution.
You've done a great job with this. A unique write!

[L.P. Hawkins]

Telling of a cold wind and a hard sea with a pulsing, rhythmic tone is perfect for this poem.
Descriptives such as "snarling, savage mass", "wind whipped veil", and "damned, demented, bride" bring that feeling of unbridled (no pun intended) power. I enjoyed reading this--thank you for posting it.

[Cdnsurfer]

Wow! I absolutely love the rhythm of this piece; the way it crashes like the endless procession of waves cracking the craggy shores. Wind as metaphor. I love your use of alliteration stacked mostly in couplets like "damned, demented" and "wind whipped". Tightly packed piece. I wonder what the original looked like? This one is controlled and well-executed, speaks of a frenzy of nature's power, embodied, and colliding at the crux of wind, land and sea. Makes me want to see Cornwall, one day. Cheers. Rob

[Donald Meikle]

Love the ssound of the title
Aint it fun t' put feelings into view
I woulda sed damned demented bride
but that's just me and luvva sounds
Some day we'll try Cornwall and Guernsey
But Ireland's first on the wishlist
Never been