Stream

There is a willow grows aslant the brook,
That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream;
There with fantastic garlands did she come.

 

How insane lovers’ words spoken in romance
when in those stolen moments on our own,
I would drown in the beauty of his glance.

My brother warned me it was just a trance,
my virtue would be sullied about town. 
How insane these words spoken in romance.

My sweetheart thought I only lived to dance
then later with his head laid in my gown,
I would drown in the beauty of his glance.

My love mocked how my father used to prance.
Do nuns sing sowing gardens all alone?
How insane these words spoken in romance.

Rosemary, how bitter sweet the fragrance,
when lovers, like old willows, tumble down.
I would drown in the beauty of his glance.

See now how white blossom begins to dance
so tender these water weeds have grown.
How insane these words spoken in romance.
I would drown in the beauty of his glance.

Reviews

[Emily B]

Oh, my! The story of young love. Does it ever really change through the ages? 2007 is really not much different than 1907 or 1807. Your words are beautiful and I look at the rhyme scheme and I am just floored that had to be a difficult form to complete. And then you excelled at it. This is so beautiful.

[fireblossom]

Great structure with the stated theme carried through each stanza. Classic and timeless.

So true about the condition of the lover. We sing a song only completely understood by one other.

[waywithwords]

Beautifully wriiten my friend and the imagery really provoked strong feelings to a wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing it. Annexxx

[jeRRy.whaLLey]

I've seen this Poetic form before where lines echoed through to other strophes enjambing a beat and creating a sense of obsession, which works, as romance is all about making God's of our desire - yet it somehow stops your Poetic pen from flowing free as I've seen in luscious words in your other pieces - I still admire your creativity and dexterity in this piece, however -

[April Child]

How insane lovers' words spoken in romance

I would drown in the beauty of his glance

OK I am actually quite jealous :)
I can't add anything that hasn't been said already. This is a beautiful villanelle.

[Emily B]

I find it lovelier each time I read it. I love the language which is just a little foreign from my own. Funny how that works, isn't it?

[Blackbirdsong]

What I love about this is that it just seems so effortless on your part and being that it's a Villanelle I know it wasn't...glad to see Ophelia is back among us again :)

[Gandré]

I wanted to write a review, I have read it, and found out, I still loved the same stanza like below. amazing poem. oh Vanessa, Vanessa. you are good at everything you do. Poetry, stories just everything. thank you for reading my new poem. I will read another one of yours!

[Antony]

Vanessa I can tell you are a well seasoned poet, this is perfect in its form and as beautiful words jump off the page, I am in awe of this.
Tony

[Nan]

A pantoum and beautifully rendered at that.
The opening scene makes this one just right and it is
smooth, so very well done.

Beautiful work, I can't see a thing I would change.

Love,

Nan

[Gandré]

oh god Vanessa !! What a beauty. I am in awe. I came second time to read this. I still adored the same stanza !!

"My sweetheart thought I only lived to dance
then later with his head laid in my gown,
I would drown in the beauty of his glance. " ------totally adored this.

Your writer s skills are unbelievable. Your conception of this peom- this is intelligent poetry. High level poetry. Also the last stanza, my god. The message! Actually every stanza is outstanding. It is reading like a song. Sell it, my dear, sell it. We need intelligent music with outstanding lyrics.