Santa's Revolution

Either, said the man in the scarlet suit,
I can spend my time making presents

 

no one needs, not even, the little children:
or I can make one giant gift to the world

 

and make war on the White House.
Remembering the words of other bearded men,

 

he prepared his helpers for a socialist revolution.
In the House a man looked up, bemused,

 

at the news that the turkeys
had made a break for the woods.

 

The President continued to read
how the Grinch Stole Christmas

 

and the dispossessed rose in their thousands -
the reindeer trampled the golden eagle

 

and the only stars that rose that night
were not attached to stripes.

Author's Note

According to my poetry tutor this could be a lot funnier. It needs a few one-liners going for the humour. As it stands it half goes for the humour but it could be a lot funnier. Please tell me what you like and what 's weak and if anyone has any idea in the zany humour department I'd be happy to hear any suggestions. I have also changed the structure to couplets. Do you think these work?

Reviews

[Cdnsurfer]

Hey Vanessa. Nice to see a new piece by you up here, since you've been gone so long. I like the sarcasm, which makes a nice-light snack for the Holiday Season, and with a bit of mash potatoes and turkey, completes the meal. Ha ha! Oh, Santa's got a plan; it's going to be a starry, starry Christmas this year! What fun, indeed! Loved it. Rob

[Carla (trying to make e..]

A very satirical poem.
I loved it...boy do you have a mean streak....LOL...

Thanks for entering my contest.
Carla

[April Child]

Hehe I am so happy to see some non whimsical xmas poems although they are very much in the minority. This is great, made me smile, the turkeys running for the woods and the cat attacking the mouse. Kind of left me wanting more which is always good.

[Dezaraye]

Definitely a good use of satire. It's got a subtle humor that's amusing.

[Pema Dorje]

satirical, lyrical and light with the magic of insight ... well writ with the Whitely style in it ...

[Chris Bighorse]

I really like the Suessian bounce to the words. I've always lived where in the mountains or in the country so I never really paid attention to the political scene. Somehow I seem to eat less living in the mesh of society than I did when I was herding sheep and tending crop. So words like socialism, communism never really made sense to me. Neither do most of the english words that I know. All of them can be twisted into deception. There are tribes in the Hymalayas (is that right?) that don't know what a lie is. Their words and manner of speaking don't allow them to lie. I'm not sure if this is true anymore but I guess I'm way off the subject. What I'm really trying to say is great write.

[Jacquie]

Vanessa - you should send this piece to the Washinton Post or the NY Times! Good writing -

[Lydia Shutter]

Wonderful political satire and so timely! Lydia

[A.M. Nelson]

oh cool I like this one, its fun and political. On the sly...not too forthright, or F**K BUSH!!!

[W.k.kortas]

Unfortunately, Lucy was right....Christmas is actually owned by a big Eastern syndicate, so I wouldn't expect the uprising anytime soon. Fine piece, whimsical and political in the same breath; has some sharply-drawn imagery, and the whole thing is pulled off nicely.

[Gandré]

Vanessa, this was significantly political. I loved your sarcasm.