Stokes Croft

This poem is a companion piece to Garden for the Homeless

Puddles stitch the kerb 

as another man sits

on the car park steps. 

 

Flowerless now.

 

What is it about him

reminds me of Whitman?

Is it just the beard? 

 

One thought

            drifts to another

derelicts

seem to grow here

 

like leaves of grass  

between the paving slabs.

 

Reviews

[Dj Golden]

Him I get a kind of intentional confusion from this. You have a flowerless urban setting yet finish with leaves of grass coming through the pavement, and thoughts that make thoughts but get previous thoughts abandoned. It seems to have alot of contradiction in it to, because you have lots of mentions to growing, but with lots of urban planet kill type stuff(car parks, paving, ect.) Very interesting. I'll have to reread it a couple more times before I can determine what it means to me, but your goal is accomplished, because you've certainly got me thinking about this peice. Well done.

[Cdnsurfer]

Hey Vanessa this was very well done and tight. Not a single word out of place. A study in contrasts that permit the reader to interpret and render their own experiences to the same canvas. That's the beauty of this piece. The references to Whitman and hobos is well done, as well as the free spirit and lost soul, as is the contrast between flowers and pavement. Quiet, reflective and stunning in its "bare" truths. Well done! Rob

[J]

You've kept this nice and concise, Ness. I like the way you indented "drifts to another" to give me that feeling of drifting. And to me, this is a simple imagist-type piece, one that you wrote while observing things going on all around you, picking out that clear moment of distilled thought. And Whitman... I've read some of his stuff... amazing. And he had a big fat beard, didn't he? The comparison you made made me chuckle lol. Also, to me, this is a quiet statement on the state of government, how more bums/hobos/derelicts/homeless people are increasing day by day. That's what you get with a capitalist cut-throat society that only cares for profit margins and not the people. Such a parlous state of affairs, but something that's not going to go away in a hurry, I fear. Anyway, nicely worded poem that you've got here =) J

[Donald Meikle]

I sat here trying to fit Whitman into Stokes Croft and Blackbirdsong hammered it home like an open palm
from a teacher on the back of my head! Talk about being run down by a train of thought!
The picture reminded me of Rome's old magnificence

[Blackbirdsong]

I had no idea what to expect from the title, and what a wonderful surprise to find allusions to Whitman here. You're written another exquisite gem. The derelicts growing like leaves of grass. I think I will remember that line forever. We have lots of them here. Derelicts, not grass.

Thank you for sharing this.

take care :)

[Sel Whiteley]

This is a powerful and thought provoking piece which vividly captures an area I know well. I like, especially, how you use Whitman, your chain of thought seems very much like his, as do the modernity/nature conflicts. I like it, not much else I can say.

[Ken Simm.]

Cezanne said, 'A moment in the life of the world goes by, paint it as it is'. This is what you have done here. regards Ken.

[Poeticpiers]

loved the opening line led me into the right frame of mind to appreciate you train of thought