Stokes Croft

This poem is a companion piece to Garden for the Homeless

Puddles stitch the kerb 

as another man sits

on the car park steps. 

 

Flowerless now.

 

What is it about him

reminds me of Whitman?

Is it just the beard? 

 

One thought

            drifts to another

derelicts

seem to grow here

 

like leaves of grass  

between the paving slabs.

 

Reviews

[Dj Golden]

Him I get a kind of intentional confusion from this. You have a flowerless urban setting yet finish with leaves of grass coming through the pavement, and thoughts that make thoughts but get previous thoughts abandoned. It seems to have alot of contradiction in it to, because you have lots of mentions to growing, but with lots of urban planet kill type stuff(car parks, paving, ect.) Very interesting. I'll have to reread it a couple more times before I can determine what it means to me, but your goal is accomplished, because you've certainly got me thinking about this peice. Well done.

[Vanessa]

This is a beautiful poem. I love the simplicity and the images you've created with just a few words. Excellent work!

[Tawny O'hara]

I liked how you put the reference to Walt Whitman along side the reference to derelicts.

What is it about him
reminds me of Whitman?
Is it just the beard?

derelicts
seem to grow here

like leaves of grass
between the paving slabs.

Very good write. Thank you for sending it to me

[G. Cedillo]

wonderful - neat and succinct, the image is placed squarely in the mind with no excessive dramatics or over stating of the obvious - great work

i am in love with minmalizm and think its a far greater skill than the verbose poems and over exaggerated poetry (sometimes)
anyway, great read - i'd like to see more of this, companion pieces etc.
g

[Armon Badill]

hmmm I find "J"s review interesting!
I'm diggin this poem :)
it seems to say a lot with only a few words, very special :)
I"ve been homeless myself so it also hits home...(long time ago)
I lived on the beach and slept in my car for a month or so in summer, it was sad and most of all I remember being hungry and watching people walk by like a dream.

[Donald Meikle]

Maybe they are all wizards and it's their bus stop to London's or Liverpool's alley marts.

[Susanna F]

Absolutely beautiful. I don't think I can elaborate on Bj's review, so keep up the good work!

[Fade]

The simplicity of word choice and the short lines are very effective in this poem. It reads almost like we are hearing your thoughts aloud. I like the references to Whitman and his Leaves of Grass, but mostly, the idea of derelicts growing wildly, like untamed nature. It does seem that way now that I think of it, but I never thought of it before now.

Very cool (albeit sad) idea, and wonderful work.

[Gandré]

What a perfect description of the poor condition of a large city's suburb! Poetic and yet clarifying.
Puddles stitch the kerb
as another man sits
on the car park steps.

Flowerless now. ======== I didn't read something so sad and descriptive for long time. My favorite lines! You did a great job on this poem. To have the sight for the considerable - this I call awareness.

[Vanessa Whiteley]

Thanks to Doc Rogers for pointing out �Kerb� to me. Yes, there is a spelling difference. Kerb is how we in Britain designate the edge of a roadway or pavement. Whereas, I guess in America you use curb for the edge of a roadway or sidewalk.

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

stanza 1
line 1 "kerb" to "curb" or is that a Brit vs Yank spelling difference? The Websters didn't help us out so well when it comes to writing the same language.

Very nice visuals communicated. You take the reader into the mind of the observer. The change up in form for stanza three helps to communicate the drifting thoughts. And the persistence of life in drap, lifeless walks of concrete.

Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing this.

Doc.