the one

she always sings

slightly off key 

softly with love 

and so beautifully 

 

she crafts flowers 

from paper for me

torn from old books 

most beautiful ive seen 

 

she brings me smiles 

when my days been long

her breathing is music 

her laughter is song 

 

she makes me want

to be more than i am 

i lean on her shoulder 

when im too weak to stand 

 

she holds my hand 

as the tears fall 

shes not the cause 

but she takes them all 

 

she is the one 

thats stays up with me 

when fear strikes my dreams 

and i can not sleep 

 

she is the one

i fight with too much 

but repairs it with ease 

a smile, a touch

 

she is the one 

that every day 

i fall harder for her

i love a new way 

 

she is the one 

i found by mistake 

but she healed my heart 

and silenced the ache.

 

i am the one 

with all the luck in the world

cause i am the one

 in love with this girl 

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Beautiful and very moving. An excellent poem and musical meter.

It does need some copy editing though. Your personal pronoun "I" should always be capitalized. I think each line should begin with an uppercase letter, and that punctuation would help carry the flow better.

[annabellee]

Awww this is lovely. Full of emotions. It really tucked at my heartstrings.

Great job :)

[Chris]

It feels like you got lost in your thoughts and emotions as you wrote this. It began in rhythm and then paused, stumbled as you again picked up the flow, then paused again just as we do as we sit and stare into our ...self at times - come back a lil startled and then continue on. I liked the realness.

[cellardork]

thank you for that, i wrote this poem and then changed it to straighten out the flow and rythem..but then i didint like so i put it back. im glad it doesnt dissrupt the read to a point that its not enjoyable.

[Chris]

Sometimes change has unintended consequences... I'm glad you found your way back to the original.

[The Nude Writer]

Very special love poem :)