Waste

Written 2003.

 

Daniel just sat there thinking, what was he going to do? His best friend has just told him he was suicidal and what did Daniel say in response. He said, “Don’t be an idiot.” Could he have said anything more stupid? But what else could he have said? What was he going to do? What was Steven thinking, getting so depressed over some girl? Steven thinks that Jasmine doesn’t notice him, but she does. They talk all the time. When he had told Steven this he just shook his head and replied “Yes, but she doesn’t ‘notice’ me.” That was the last thing Steven had said before he walked off. Daniel had been sitting here trying to organise the mess that was his thoughts for half an hour since then. He had finally worked out his thoughts and was now prepared to talk to Steven. And he knew where Steven would be.

 

Daniel started walking up the stairs and past the noise filled classrooms. He finally reached the roof. Steven stood there, next to the short wall that enclosed the rooftop. Daniel walked over to stand near him. He stopped about two meters away from Steven. He could see Steven had tears rolling down his cheeks. “Mate, you really don’t want to do it, Do you?” Daniel carefully asked.

“No…but I can’t live with the pain.” Steven answered in little more then a whisper. Before Daniel could comprehend what was happening, Steven was standing balanced on the edge of the wall. Steven looked over his shoulder at his best friend. “Tell Jasmine I love her.” And with that he took a step forward, a step off the roof. Daniel stood there and waited, eventually he heard it. Steven’s body had stopped and so had his life.

 

*~*~*~*

 

Daniel knocked on the door. The classroom was full of unsuspecting students. “Jasmine” was all Daniel said. Jasmine looked at him and noticed the pain in his eyes. She silently followed him as he left the room. They stopped and stood in silence. Finally Daniel spoke. “Steven’s gone. He stepped off the roof. He told me to tell you he loved you.”

Tears started to form in Jasmine’s eyes. “But… I love him.” She whispered. Her knees buckled beneath her and she collapsed to the floor. Daniel hauled her to her feet but her body refused to support itself. Daniel lifted her in his arms and carried her into a deserted classroom. He knew that when the shock wore off she would be ashamed that she broken down in such a way. They sat next to each other, neither of them saying a word. Tear flowed unchecked down Daniel’s face as he stared straight a head at the blank wall. Jasmine’s face was buried in Daniel’s chest as she wept; his shirt muffled her painful sobs.

Daniel finally wiped his tears away with his sleeve. He looked down at Jasmine and shifted his arm from around her shoulder. “Jasmine, you know I’m here for you if you need me?” Jasmine looked up at his face and nodded. Daniel needed time to think. Steven was dead, he was gone. All because neither, he nor Jasmine, had admitted their love. It was such a waste. But Daniel couldn’t have time to himself, he needed to help Jasmine through this, he had to do this for Steven. So he sat there for hours watching her cry tears for Steven and crying his own.