I Know

Written in 2007 after a break up. Right at the lowest moment.

 

It was all my own doing. I was the one who decided to end that chapter and start a new one. It was me who sent you on your way. It was my hands that shut that door and opened the other one. It was all my own doing but yet I’m suffering the same as any other.

 

 

I was the one with reasons why it wouldn’t work but now those reasons are blurred around the edges by uncertainty. I’m the one who asked you to leave but yet every where I turn a ghost, a memory of you lingers. I have a gapping wound in my life which I can’t fill, that I have no hope to fill.

 

At times when I let my guard down, in my times of weakness I find myself reaching for you, only to be brutally reminded that you will never be there.

 

 

 

You will never be there to support me, to comfort me, to cheer me up, to interest me, to desire me, to love me. You will never be there to upset me, to enrage me, to ignore me, to hurt me. I know it was my own doing. I know it was for the best. I didn’t know it was going to hurt so much.