Nightmares

Please don't hurt me I whisper. Please don't do this... It's dark and the sun hasn't come up, the sun is always late and never makes it on time to be my hero and save me from demons. My demons come in the form of sleep. They rob me of my happy dreams and peaceful nights and instead replace my hours with terror and fear and remembrance. In the dark is when my demons come. It starts with a face- I try to awake myself to stop these evil demons.. it's too late. I see a face, I see a body, I see hands. My demons know what scare me most. Hands. His hands. They come roughly for me. Pulling and pinching and grabbing and squeezing. They are not safe hands, they are not kind hands. They are hands that hurt. Please don't, I beg. Please stop doing this. I beg and plead. It doesn't matter, it never does. Once the hands deliver a blow to stop my begging, it will get better. Once I give in and let the hands have their way, it will get better. Once I let the hands throughly rake my body like they want to, it will get better. Once the hands leave my neck, I will be able to breathe again, and it will get better. My demons know I am fighting to wake my body and rid my brain of them. They know my terror of his hands and they also know his arms terrorize me just as much. I see them coming and feel them around me, arms of steel. Cold and hard and unrelenting to my pleas and whimpers. They never let me go, they never release me. They only hold me firmly in place. They hold me against all my strength. Bruises begin to form from my struggling, I fight against the pain and fight against the never relenting steel. It doesn't matter. It never does. Once I give in and stop pushing against the steel arms, it will get better. Once I stop thrashing and gasping for air against my entrapment, it will get better. My demons know I will give in. My nightmare has driven my body to sweating and crying even though I am not awake. My demons still haven't left and deliver their final terror for the night. They know the last terror will break my will and strength. I see his face, I shiver to the depths of my soul. I see his lips. I can't plead anymore, I can't beg anymore, I can't fight anymore, I can only cry. I cry as his lips are pressed onto my face and I feel his breath on my cheek. I cry as I hear him whisper that I will enjoy this. I cry as his lips sharply find my lips and press harshly into mine. I cry as he kisses me roughly and robs me of my breath. I cry as my soul cries. I have given in, I have fought as hard as I can. I have bruises on my ribs and breasts and hips and collarbone. My cheek stings from one his blows and my mouth hurts from his invasion. I have fought hard and lost. My soul breaks as my legs give out from my fighting. His arms of steel hold me up to endure his groping kisses until he is satisfied. My soul cries the same as my eyes cry. When will it get better? I have forgotten. I thought it would get better or is that just a lie I tell myself? He looks at me and tells me "tomorrow you better behave better or I'll hit harder, you know I hate it when you whimper and cry." I nod my head bravely as he steps away. I won't cry tomorrow. I won't whimper tomorrow. I won't plead tomorrow. I won't beg tomorrow. I will take things like the big girl I am. I am a big girl now, I can handle this. I can stop my tears, I can stop my soul from breaking, I can stop my body from feeling the pain. Things will be better if I stop feeling. Things will be better if I give in. Things will be better if I surrender. I have to be a big girl now. I am 14. It's time for me to grow up.
My demons leave me as I jerk awake from my never ending nightmare. I am not 14. I am 21. My demons shouldn't be able to haunt me, my demons shouldn't scare me. Nightmares only scare children. I shouldn't be curled up in my bed crying, I shouldn't be making a pillow fortress around me to feel safe. Only children should be this scared of nightmares. But how do I get the scared little child out of me? How do I make her stop being afraid? When will she no longer be in terror of her demons? I wish I could give this little girl courage to fight her demons. I curl up into a ball and cry myself halfway back to sleep. I can't sleep now, I can't sleep until my hero the sun comes. If I fall asleep now, my demons will only resume the nightmare for this little girl. I have to be strong and stay awake until she figures out it's okay. One day she will figure it out. I know she will. One day the little girl will defeat the demons in her nightmares. It will get better. I tell the little girl, Katie, I promise the bruises on your soul will fade. Katie, I promise you won't always be afraid. Katie, it will get better. Katie, you will grow up and be happy and life will always be beautiful. Listen to me. The sun is on its way, it will be better soon.

Author's Note

This is my first writing. Please let me know what y'all think. :)

Reviews

[Sam]

Wow! I definitely enjoyed reading this. You have a great catcher sentace, and your words flowed well together! I really enjoyed reading this, keep up the good work!