I Wish

I wish that I could be
Apart of the team.
Be wanted and needed
Talked and joked too...

Psychically I am there,
I stand, cheer, and dance alongside them
But when we break apart I
Am usually alone,

Like always.

It hurts when this happens
Cause I don't know what to do
I try to be apart of this team
But  I know they don't want me.

Is it that I'm too tall?
To fatskinny? Am I not pretty enough?
Do I not try hard enough?
Do I not talk enough?

I do try, but I'm just so scared
That I will be rejected and laughed at.
Isn't that silly?
I just can't help it.

I want to be looked at and thought off too
I want to be noticed and helped
I don't want to feel so alone
I don't want to let anyone down

I miss my old friends a lot
Cause they made me feel apart of them
I miss my old friends because
I knew I was wanted, loved, appreciated

My new friends are supportive
But from a distance?
I feel like a joke to them
I feel like their scapegoat sometimes

Like I always have.

Author's Note

Something I wrote on my phone and copied it to here. Comments, critiques, advice?