Ones and Zeroes

Ones and Zeroes

 

Characters:

Oliver " Canadian, late 20s, nicknamed “Hamstring”

Lux " Texan early 20s

Waitress " late 50s.

 

Setting:

A diner in downtown Dallas.

 

(stage lights up, we see Lux sitting in the middle of a diner playing with her phone.  Waitress walks over.)

 

WAITRESS

 

Can I get you something to drink?

 

LUX

 

Uhm, just a coffee.. Excuse me, do you have hazelnut creamer?

 

WAITRESS

 

Of course.

 

LUX

 

Can I ask you something crazy?

 

WAITRESS

 

(smiles) Of course.

 

LUX

 

Have you ever met anyone you met online?

 

(The waitress gives Lux a stunned look)

 

WAITRESS

 

(laughs and pats her on the shoulder)

My dear, I can barely text.

 

(Lux sits with a dumbfounded look on her face and stands up from the booth.  She storms for exit and bumps into a man at the door.)

 

LUX

 

oh my god, I'm sorry, excuse me.

 

OLIVER

 

Luxy?  You weren't just leaving, were you?

 

LUX

 

You're so tall.

 

OLIVER

 

And you're beautiful.  Less pixely, but still beautiful.

 

LUX

 

It's really you.. (examines Oliver) But where are you glasses?

 

OLIVER

 

Must've dropped them somewhere in the tundra.

 

(Lux jumps on Oliver and they share a hug)

 

Your coffee is on the table, I can smell the hazelnut from a mile away.

 

LUX

 

Well I like my coffee how I like my men... blonde.

 

OLIVER

 

I'm hardly blonde.  How long have you been in here?

 

LUX

 

Not long really, about 10 minutes. So, you're here until tomorrow morning?

 

OLIVER

 

Mhm, we have from now until then.

 

WAITRESS

 

Good morning, sir, can I get you something to drink?

 

LUX

 

He'll have coffee, black, with one sugar.

 

(Oliver looks at the waitress and smiles)

 

just cause I know you like it how you like your men.

 

OLIVER

 

Just because I have a man crush on Denzel doesn't mean I like all my men like that.  So what's the itinerary?

 

LUX

 

We'll eat, go to the liquor store, and then lock ourselves in the hotel room?

 

OLIVER

 

(playfully)  Can we at least get to know each other first?  Although I know almost all of you.

 

(the waitress comes and sets Oliver's coffee on the table.)

 

WAITRESS

 

Are you guys ready to order?

 

(They both smile at each other)

 

OLIVER

 

She will have two eggs, sunny side up, extra crispy bacon, hashbrowns, buttered toast.

 

LUX

 

Annnd, he will have a stack of chocolate chip pancakes, with a side of (pauses and clears throat) Canadian bacon.

 

WAITRESS

 

You guys make such a wonderful couple. (smiles and walks away)

 

OLIVER

 

Well we're just a couple of ones and zeroes.  Up until this morning at least.  Binary lovers.

 

LUX

 

Obvi you're the zero. 

 

OLIVER

 

I'm also the hero.  Can you please explain why we're binary lovers again?

 

LUX

 

Alright alright... Well everything on a computer is made up of ones and zeroes, and up until today, that was the premise of our entire relationship, a computer... Are you happy now?

 

 

(Oliver smiles and nods.  Lux takes a sip from her coffee and leaves it stained of her red lipstick.  Oliver then takes the mug and flips it around to his view)

 

OLIVER

 

I've been waiting for so long to see you leave that red lipstick somewhere.

 

LUX

 

Most people think it's annoying.

 

OLIVER

 

It's perfect and I will  probably remember this for the rest of my life. 

 

LUX

 

Perhaps we should've gotten you (shrugs her shoulders), I don't know, a ham and cheese omelet?

 

OLIVER

 

Right, I'll stop being sweet cause you'll hate me.

 

LUX

 

I could never hate you.

 

(The waitress comes by with both their plates of food)

 

WAITRESS

 

Sunny side ups for the lady, and chocolate chip pancakes for the young man.

 

OLIVER

 

This looks delicious, thank you.

 

WAITRESS

 

I'm sorry, but I must ask, how long have you been together?  It's refreshing to see a young couple so in love.

 

(Oliver's phone begins to ring and he ignores the call.)

 

LUX

 

oh, we're not rea-

 

OLIVER

 

A little over a year.  We have great chemistry.

 

WAITRESS

 

(nodding her head in agreement)

 

I can see that.  Well, I'll leave you two, enjoy... I bet you both will have beautiful children.

 

LUX

 

A tad bit early for that I'd say.

 

(Waitress laughs and walks away)

 

Who called?

 

OLIVER

 

Oh nobody, just work stuff, it can wait...You know we would have beautiful kids. (winks).  Imagine my whiteness mixed with your saucy latina-ness.

 

LUX

 

I'm Hispanic of Spanish-French descent. Thank you.

 

OLIVER

 

Whatever the case... our children would be gorgeous.  Hammy Jr.

 

LUX

 

Yes, cause I only want boys. But let's not pretend.

 

(sits back and crosses her arms)

 

I wish you had your glasses… That was the deal; you HAD to have them when you came.

 

OLIVER

Well I decided to get some contacts, but, like, purely for aesthetics, you know?

 

LUX

 

I like you all “nerdy” hot though. (smiles)

 

 

OLIVER

 

Surprise!

 

(Oliver takes out a pair of glasses from his jacket.  As he does a ring is caught onto the leg of the glasses and rolls over to Lux’s side of the the table. Oliver reaches over to grab it but Lux beats him to it.)

 

LUX

 

 (Holds up the ring and examines it reading the inscribed words)

“to my hammy..”  What is this?

 

OLIVER

 

You're mental... It's nothing, Luxy..

 

(Oliver takes the ring from Lux's hand and puts it back into his jacket)

 

LUX

 

Don't be an a*****e.

 

OLIVER

 

It's just a ring.

 

LUX

 

(slams her hands on the table)

It has your name on it!

 

(Waitress walks over)

 

WAITRESS

 

Are you guys alright?  Do you need anything else?

 

LUX

 

We're good, thanks.

 

WAITRESS

 

Alright, well, call if you need anything.

 

LUX

 

(with a defeated tone)

 

 This is obviously a marriage ring. (pauses) How could you do this?

 

(Oliver looks down and digs his face into his hands)

 

How long have you been married?

 

(Oliver looks down avoiding eye contact.)

 

Just answer the question.

 

OLIVER

 

(keeps looking down)

 

Three years.

 

LUX

 

(shakes her head in disbelief)

 

If you're married why do you bother with me?

 

OLIVER

 

What we have is real. Luxy, don't do this. (pauses)  I didn't trick you.

 

LUX

 

You did.  You wanted me to find out this way.

 

OLIVER

 

Well all the pieces were there, you just never chose to put them together.  I thought you were smarter.

 

LUX

 

Not as smart as you, apparently.

 

OLIVER

 

How do you think I feel?  I feel guilty for you and for her.  I've tried discarding you, as awful as that sounds, and it doesn't work. 

 

LUX

 

How does she not know?

 

OLIVER

 

I don't know.  I'm at work most of the day.

 

LUX

 

That's the problem with you men, you're so greedy.  You think you can have everything.  Your idiot wife and the online s**t you talk to everyday. 

 

OLIVER

 

Please, you know it's not like that.  I'm in too deep for that.

 

LUX

 

(sighs and runs moves her hair away from her face)

I drove eight hours for you.

 

OLIVER

 

I love you.

 

LUX

 

You don't love your wife or me.  I don't even think you love yourself.

 

(Oliver walks over to Lux's side of the booth and sits next to her.  He forcefully hugs her as she tries to pull away)

 

OLIVER

 

Remember what we have.

 

(Lux picks up her head and hugs Oliver.  She then leans in to kiss him and they share a kiss.  Their first Oliver then leans in to kiss Lux again but she pulls away.)

 

The food is getting cold.

 

LUX

 

Maybe you should get it to go.

 

OLIVER

 

Excuse me, waitress, can we get this to go?

 

(The waitress walks over to pick up the plates.)

 

WAITRESS

 

Is everything alright?  The lady looks upset.

 

LUX

 

Tears of joy (laughs).

 

OLIVER

 

She got this HUGE promotion.. Also, can we also get the tab please?

 

WAITRESS

 

Oh my, well congratulations (smiles).. and certainly.  I'll be back.

 

(The waitress walks away with the plates.)

 

OLIVER

 

Let's just enjoy the day, please?  If you won't talk to me ever again, just give me today.

 

LUX

 

I don't want to lose you.  (grabs his face and examines him) Go home to your wife.

 

(Oliver gives her a stunned look.)

 

You've met me.  You're free.  I'm free. We've expired.  Maybe you are a zero.

 

OLIVER

 

Can't we just hit the refresh button on this?

 

LUX

 

No. Get up, let me go.

 

(Oliver is reluctant to move and Lux pushes him)

 

JUST MOVE!

 

(Oliver gets up defeated and she stands up from the booth.)

 

(holding back tears) Bye, Hammy, it was nice meeting you.

 

(Oliver reaches to hold her hand and she pulls away heading for the exit. The waitress then comes with their food in a bag.)

 

WAITRESS

 

Well, sir, here's your food and the tab.  Where'd your lady go?

 

OLIVER

 

She feels sick.  She went to wait in the car. 

 

WAITRESS

 

Poor thing.  You take care of her.  She looks like a gem.

 

OLIVER

 

I'll be sure to do that.  (signs the tab)  You have a nice day.

 

WAITRESS

 

Likewise

 

(The waitress smiles and walks away.)

 (Oliver picks up his phone and dials a number)

 

OLIVER

 

(On the phone)

 

Hey... Yeah, I've been in meetings the whole morning, but I should be flying back tomorrow.. (takes out the ring from his jacket and slides onto his finger)... also, make sure to wear something nice for our date..(pauses) (laughs) alright, can't wait to see you.. Red or pink?  Red lipstick for sure.  Okay, I love you too, bye.

 

Lights dim.

 

END.

Reviews

[Damien Thibodeaux]

Hey, this is a great little one act play. Good job with this.