If Only She Knew

If Only She Knew that She wasn't alone fighting this.

If only she knew that her past will catch up with her.
She was bullied her whole life and got hated upon on as well.
People would call her ugly, fat, stupid, useless, b*****d child and ect.
People would also throw stuff at her like; books, paper, pen, and what else was in their way.

If only she knew that there was a way to lose weight.
She was starving herself to death just to be skinny and be like all the other girls.
All her life she wanted to fit in and be normal like the rest of them.

If only she knew that she was not alone.
This boy been liking her for a while now but he was being bullied too.
He was always shy around her, acting weird near her and asking about her day.
He even wrote secret love letters to her.

If only she knew who wrote the secret love letters.
Those letters made her day but she wonder who wrote them.
She wanted to know if it was her prince charming or her Romeo.

If only she knew that the popular girl would get a hold of them.
The girl made fun of her secret love letters and she ran way.
The girl followed her to her house and so did the boy.
The girl tauted her from outside the her house while the boy came around back.

If only she knew that boy was in the house with her.
She wrote a small letter then she went upstairs to her room.
Her mind was rush through with all of the horrible memories while she took a bite of her apple.
She's out forever.

If only she knew that the boy was in her room.
He cried for minutes then he bites the apple.
He was holding her hand one the floor.

Author's Note

This life is not a fairytale, it's reality.

Reviews

[Anna]

I see some grammar mistakes you may want to fix. It disrupts the flow. It may be good as well to expand on the details within your writing. A lot of times in poetry, saying very little only adds to the feel or the mystery of it. On the other hand, sometimes poetry requires more feeling to be expressed through many words, or still few, yet which describe what the situation is like that you're writing about. For instance: The girl is being bullied, and it makes her feel sad. You've stated this. But how exactly does it feel? What is the sadness like? Does her head ache and pound with dark thoughts? Has she laid awake at night fearing the next day? How did the fear feel? Was she struggling to keep her hands from shaking? If the girl is disappointed, did it feel as if a weight had been dropped in her stomach? Did it begin to feel like a pit of nothing? Honestly, how did it make her feel other than "sad?"

Sometimes it's best to add these things, since it draws out the emotion of what you're trying to convey. You could even be mysterious about it. You could describe the bully as a dark, menacing figure, instead of the "popular girl." However, this is all only my humble opinion and suggestion. You're right, this is reality. Keep up the work, I know you'll just keep getting better. :)

[Diane]

This is a sad story in its self. Made me think. What would I have done if I had noticed this happening? I was the one who was picked on but never let it bother me. I would say you pulled a lot off sadness that the readers will feel for sure. You have a few things to fix, but overall great job.

[emmajoy]

There's suchreality in this poem - i's a torrent of feelings, tears in themselves.. expressing a girl's miseries and nobody care, people just play games with her if she's an inanimate nobody. How unkind, cruel life can be to someone who doesn't fit the mould.. that boring same as everyone else mould that means nothing, zilch. For that girl to finish as she did, does.. and that boy ... should never be. Never.

You write with so muich passion, spiritual passion, that is.. as if every part of you feels the pain and wishes to the Lord that it never happened outside the writing of words. But, it happens. Oh yes.

Whereas your story tells truths and displays immense emotions, maybe a touch of editing would make it even better. May i suggest you read it aloud, over and over again, slowly.. using punctuation, meter and spelling assistance. You have so much natural skill... it just needs polishing.

Thank you so much for sharing such a fine poem.

[Shy_muse]

Good job.... I love the message in your poem. I was bullied in high school so I understand the pain. I think that it would benefit you to write with a rhyme scheme in mind so that it helps with the fluidity of your poem. But other than that it was great!!

[Kasey M.C.]

Thank you!

[Ana]

I think you should write more poems because the message in this was really good. I didn't get the part about the apple at first, but my guess is that it was poisonous for both the boy and the girl? i'm in high school now and I've never encountered a girl who was bullied like this, so it makes you realize that you don't know people at all. Maybe i did meet someone like this but i never knew?

[Kasey M.C.]

Thank you so much and I will try and write more poems. Maybe, you just stop and smell the roses.

[RaeAlyn]

I was relentlessly bullied. I was called names as well. One time I even had rotten apples thrown at me. All during my high school years. I can totally relate to the first stanza. High school is a hard time for some, but not others. I wish it was not true.

[Kasey M.C.]

I'm sorry that you had experienced that.

[RaeAlyn]

I look at it this way: I am who I am because of the things that I went though.

[Bra.Kofi]

i like this piece and the clarity of message it carries. good one kasey

[Kasey M.C.]

Thank you so much.

[zunie frost]

great work ..
i love it .. 100 points

[Kasey M.C.]

Thank you so much.

[Marianne Rose]

I don't doubt that this is true- the reality if what the girl went through rings through loud and clear. The pain of being alone, finding someone who cared and then being taunted with it - this happens to so many people, who suffer in silence as they are cast out of the circle of friendship. I'm not sure about the ending- it's unclear to me whether the boy was there to comfort her, holding her hand- the confusion comes from the line 'he was holding her hand one the floor' - did you mean on the floor? Were they sitting on the floor and he took her hand or held it? Or had he turned against her too, even with tears, pushing her hand down on the floor? The endings are quite different depending on how you phrase it. I'd like to know the true ending, if he was able to break away from being part of the taunting, or if he succumbed to it to be part of the group. Otherwise, a deeply moving writing that shows the reality of bullying- though this is more than bullying- it's terrible relentless harassment. It touched my heart and made me grieve for her.

[Kasey M.C.]

Thanks and the ending was a twist