Nameless Sin

She was a fragile verse

Beauty became a curse

Dressed up in distain

Perfume with the scent of pain

Eyes gave off the feeling of annoyed

Searching for something to fill her void

Stitched down and framed

Gone without a name

She was more then I could see

She bled through and colored me

Such a victim to terrorize

And a feeling I can’t recognize

But the fateful conclusion

Is that she is an illusion

She is a picture that was never painted

Trapped in a mind forever tainted

She is a master and a slave

Born into her own grave

She carries my torment

Her reality left bent

She is my built up sin

Breathing underneath my skin

My one pure flaw

And my memories law

My wrong and my right

Morning and my night

A captive without a choice

My inner voice

But the sadden conclusion

Is that she is an illusion

 

 

Reviews

[Dayran]

She might be your muse.

[VelvetRosetta]

This inner battle we all struggle with,sin that lies just beneath the surface...nice piece

[GreenSkeleton16]

amazing you rhymed that perfectly great story too

[Kyari Hasutto]

The rhyme scheme bugs me slightly...but that's just because lines right after each other rhyming is a personal irritant. Nothing against you. You did so beautifully without making the rhymes sound forced.

[Nayan]

Nice flow and rhythm! While its really impressing and amazing to think of someone as one's 'nameless sin'! I wonder why the poem says 'she' as in past tense?

I liked the whole idea - as here 'she' is the shadow, a mirror of the poet, his weakness, his strength, his submissiveness, and his dominance, and everything!

Really good write!

[Jenna]

This has a nice flow and a sinful delicious feeling on the tongue

[Prateeksha Khot]

that is a beautiful poem. loved it. fluent flow of words.

Keep up!

[f**k you]

Really beautiful...great flow!! Captivating and mysterious, this girl sounds like a living ghost. Broken, in a way. There are some spelling errors, but no big deal. Overall, great write :]

-nicole-was-here-

[Art Sun]

A nice work...even flow, nice rhyme and smooth to read...
an enjoyable poem...

[DarkLovingRaven]

I love this because i can see so much beauty through the pain.

The line that got to me the most is: "Born into her own grave"

I give this 200/100