Maybe

Just venting

I blanked out,

the entire time, my mother

very disappointedly

worriedly

objectionably questioned me.

I didn’t realize, till it began to ache

That I was very tightly,

but unconsciously crossing my fingers.

My fingers were tied, just like my lips.

Except I could feel a thousand heart beats inside them.

Though my fingers and my lips were tied,

My heart was brimming with fire,

desperately wanting to ‘come out’,

but too scared that in doing so,

the fire would end up causing

much more pain, than the one currently

in my fingers

my lips

my heart.

So I pursed my lips, held my heart, and let the pain in my fingers

Grow.

Maybe someday, the fire inside me will finally die down,

And nurture into cherry blossoms, of tomorrow.

Maybe someday, I will not have to switch on to my 16 year old brother’s

stale commercial breaks, to shed away

the heaviness of my heart.

Maybe someday, my mother can take pride

 in my love,

the same way she takes pride in who I have become, and maybe finally understand

that how I love and who I am

are not so far apart.

Maybe someday, my twisted fingers will get un-intertwined by the soft hands

Of my love.

And when that happens,

There will not be a single disappointed soul that

Objects, or worries. Instead

Spreads their hearts wide and unconditionally accepts.

But until then, it’s just

Maybe.

 

Reviews

[Carolyn Jean]

I think everyone can respect this feeling. beautiful