resolve

a journey into a desperate human soul that seeks it's end , but within the journey a new scars are opened wounds are healed and sins have surfaced, thus the end becomes oblivious.

the monks weren't lying after all. humans in general always tell the truth when their lives are at stake, but it's different when you're the one about to take their lives. You can lie or say the truth is up to you. 

i stand in front of the foggy road now.it's full of rubble and dirt as they told described it, they kept saying it's cursed and one can only believe that it's a piece of hell stuck on earth.i don't care about these warnings and i never headed them before. the lake at the end will grant me any wish i want , i only have one. i want to simply die. 

the road i step on is now made of asphalt and brushed by the sun light, but a few steps away is one made from ruble and dirt and god knows what else can be beyond that thick fog.i sigh and start walking. the first step i take makes me feel as if i was abducted to another dimension, the sensation is now different, i feel fear, for a long time i thought i would never feel it. 

"you who dares step and walk this path what dream do you really desire." an eye-less woman with dark black skin and grey hair appeared out of no where on his right. her long nails were pointed at the man. the man startled and jumped to his left with his left arm on his katana and his right hand on his pistol. his blue and white robe that he took from the temple he was in, he made modifications so that he can move more freely and have less clothing on to reach his weapons and move freely, it looked like a messed up samurai outfit. wasn't fashionable but was definitely practical.

the man stared at her for a while before speaking " who the hell are you?" he shouts from the scare of both her looks and entrance.  

"follow this road and you shall achieve your goals if you survive the journey." her almost faint and shaky voice rings in the man's ears

"i do not need your foul warnings perish at once and i will spare your life." he threatened her unsheathing his sword but the woman didn't stop talking " go forth and  pass this cursed land, face your fear and embrace your scars and open your wounds for vulnerability is not an option it's a fate." the woman says with her voice going louder and louder."FOR THE LAST TIME WOMAN LEAVE." the man shouted at her. she didn't even flinch and raised her voice over his "reach the tavern and rest your soul, or the journey is a lost hope....". The man swung his sword and strikes the old lady, but no blood is spilled. the old lady is gone and only an evil laughter fills the atmosphere with the fog. 

The man starts walking again trying to shake what just happened,"must be hallucinations" he told himself "must be the thick fog." he unsheathes his sword again and starts walking. a few minutes pass and the man is walking along the fog with all of his senses are alert for another surprise, but he definitely didn't imagine what was waiting for him.he saw the souls of hundreds being tortured. their screams echoed in the empty road and their pain was not to be lessened by their screamed. the man stood frozen for a while imagining if this was hell indeed and those were the sinners. what if those people were only thieves or even rapists compared to the man they were angels. he shook his head and started picking up the pace of his footsteps. trying to escape the souls that were around him he decided to look in the sky but it was futile, the ground and the sky were filled with souls who were screaming and begging for help, but no one was there to aid them. 

the man decided to close his eyes but he then felt that he was moving backwards, his steps weren't going forward unless his eyes were open. he knew that the road wanted him to see this scene, as if to prepare him for what he wished for. "nothing will change my mind when i pass this road i will still ask for my soul to be put out of its misery." the man shouted from the stress of seeing and hearing those souls. everything disappeared at once instantly and the fog was his only companion once more. the man walked for hours and hours until he reached the tavern the old lady mentioned. the road continued ahead and at his left was another side road that was thinner and made of stone and marble not dirt and rubble. the man though didn't take that road and decided to make his journey shorter, he walked passing that tavern and not heading for any warning, a few minutes passed and still the road seemed endless and the fog grew thicker and thicker until seeing what was in front of you directly a nearly impossible manner. suddenly voices grew louder and the fog almost dissipated and figures started to appear. they were souls again but this time the souls of the men and women that this man slaughtered and murdered.

the man stares at them and holds his katana infront of him.he takes a step to the back thinking about retreat after all no sane man would enter such a fight. for a second he thought that's how he wanted to die,but not like this he didn't want to die as a loser, a failure. " if i am going to check out of here i would do it on my terms not this world's. after all i spent my whole life living by its rules." he lunges forward swinging his katana. He strikes a soul down and it vanished like the last one he encountered this time it was different. the memories and emotions of this soul was his for a brief moment. he felt the pain and sadness they have been living in. he saw the future they would have had if they were still alive, finally he felt how much this soul hated him. 

the man brushed all these emotions away and slice through their ranks. he killed one after another until he reached the count twenty nine. after that he couldn't bare the burden. what most hurt him is how they hated him. The man couldn't continue and was about to faint. that's when he decided to run towards the tavern. he decided to finally retreat and seek shelter in there if that was an option. the souls stopped following him the second he set his foot on the marble floor. the fog was thin and he could see the tavern. he stood in front of the door for a while "again life, you win another battle." he mutters and pushes the door open. 

the tavern is not unique or different at all. no flying saucer, no flying cups or ghosts. the tavern is empty with only wooden tables, chairs , a bar and a woman who wears a black coat and black hat with a veil covering her face. she is placing parts together trying to match the broken peaces of a cup of tea together with golden powder sticking them together and filling the cracks. 

the man made his way towards the bar and sat there. there were bottles of wine, some empty, some half empty, some full , but they all had one thing in common, they were all broken and reconstructed again.some even looked better than they usually were and the man thought so.

the man waits for a while so that the bartender would appear but there were no one. he finally realized it was serve yourself type of tavern, he took a breath and put his guns on the bar table.he was about to go and put a glass of wine for himself but he was stopped by the woman.  

"what brings you here stranger?" the woman asks him

"i seek salvation through death, what about you my fair lady."

 she didn't say a word but rather put a helmet that was like the rest of the tavern objects reconstructed and had a black long feather on one of its sides. "let me guess it was my doing" the man looked at the woman. 

she had gotten rid of her coat and the veiled hat and now only had a black traditional Chinese dress on with red stripes on the opening at her legs. her hair black hair is made in a buddha pun and two spikes emerge out of the pun. she sits next to the man. "i have to presume so." she asks in a calm soft voice. the man rose his gaze and met hers. 

"why would you presume that?" he wondered as he took a sip of wine from a broken reconstructed glass.

"because i have reached the lake and i wished to find my husbands killer...." she caresses the feather, "i was told  that i had to wait for him in this tavern, and for three years i have waited in here alone, some would come by and leave and some would come here and die by my hands." she explained 

"mistook them for your husband's killer?" 

"no, i hated their concepts in life, their greed, hate, motive for living and resolve in life were disgusting." 

"three years breaking stuff must have been an interesting wait." he finishes his wine.

"it's not that they look beautiful when they break, it's after they are put together they look more beautiful, more real."  she grabs a pot and throws it on the wall breaking it into small bits and pieces, then she grabs them and starts gluing them again using gold powder. she finishes it and places it near the helmet .

"you never really loved him." he remarked.

"what makes you think so." 

"well , you would have poisoned the wine and i would be in grievous pain right now" he looks at her then continues " your husband was the general who burned the whole village and tortured many men and women, i would have to presume that you hated him." 

"indeed but still he was my husband , i was his wife i owe him love and gratitude." she sharpens her tone and raises her voice.

"was he your love indeed?, why not bring him back , why not ask for his Resurrection, you want to believe you were loved , not feel empty and hollow inside because you were never cared for, you want to feel important . You never felt love, you were delusional ,broken just like your toys." the man responds and sends tears running like rivers silently on her cheek.

"well what about you." she bursts right back at him."you do not seek death but you wish it because you think the only way you can move on is by undoing your actions , that's what you realized through out your journey , your life, you convinced yourself that you are hated  by the world, you think you are worthless and nothing waiting for someone to give you permission to live, you won't forgive yourself for your mistakes how would you expect the world to? " every word she said was like a bullet that pierced the fortress around his heart and attacked all of his insecurities. 

the woman pushes the man a few steps to the back " do you want my permission as well?" she shouts at him and in one swift move the man grabs her and pins her to the wall and starts kissing her. the whole tavern was empty and still their sounds of pleasure filled the place like it was crowded, they were both happy. they finished exhausted and laughing their hearts out.

"you're first time?" she asks 

"i never thought it would hold such a thrill, yes it is indeed." he said trying to catch his breath.

"you were right , he never loved me.i despised him and swore i would kill him for the pain he inflicted on me and everyone, that i would have my vengeance, to him i was just a facade , something he brags about owning, he would hit me and abuse me. he would threaten me and lock me up if his mood wasn't good." she stands up," i was going to kill him that night you did , but you got to his room first, i wanted to avenge myself no matter who i blame for my misery, i was broken and afraid to reconstruct myself , and you are the same just like me afraid to move on and face life." 

" i was indeed afraid , but now i am ready to move on and i know how as well, you have my thanks for that, care to join me on my journey ?" the man anxiously asks as if he was a high school kid  . 

"any woman would wish to accompany someone as handsome and powerful as you, alas my foolish actions built on revenge prevents me from doing that, i struck a deal with the lake , i kill you and the lake kills me, an eye for an eye , a tooth for a tooth , a soul for a soul that was our deal." she tries to force a smile but her tears cannot be contained , she loved the man who she only spent a day with.

"but i am alive." he exclaimed 

"the lake gave me the chance for my soul, the outcome is not of the lake's concern." 

"i see, may i ask what is your name before i take my leave?" he asks her

"saura" she answers him "what about yours?" 

"i am afraid i have none, just the names that people describe me with but i would love to be called kintsugi for i will not be afraid to take on life no more." 

he heads out of the tavern but is stopped by saura .

"your guns , you were about to forget them." she hands him the guns

"thank you, although i never used them as i wanted to die , i learned to deflect them, funny how one can learn something to never use but to counter instead." he exclaims "how old are you my lady if i may ask, you look mature yet young you put my mind in confusion." 

"well it seems your manners are in confusion as well but as you lack the knowledge about how to deal with women i'll answer you, i am 33." she blushes a bit and gazes to the ground.

"young in body, yet mature at heart one would be extremely lucky to have you as  a partner." he smiles and holds her chin.

"wouldn't you prefer the word jewel ." she teases him

"jewels are for clothes , partners are for crimes and good times."  he kisses her and heads off the tavern  to the cursed rode once more. this time he knows what needs to be done.

he marches again and in the midst of the cold , foggy road he meets the army of the damned souls he reaped once more. He unsheathes his sword and stabs the ground with it." some of you may have saw me during their last  moments and some were unable to, some of you are innocent some are not , i am a man that longed for forgiveness all along but was never able to acquire it because i never asked for it, but now i ask of you who can spare it for me." he grabs the sword again and walks towards the souls.

some of the souls try to attack kintsugi  but the others fend them off. In a matter of minutes the souls are divided into two factions some are trying to attack him and some are defending him and sacrificing their life for him to give him a clear path to the lack. 

kintsugi finally reaches the lake and their it is as foggy as the rode but the lake itself is sparkling and smells nice , kintsugi sits on it's edge and then whispers on to the lake his wish "i wish to get out of here with saura the woman i met at the tavern, i want her not to die i want her to live with me and accompany me in this journey called life." 

the old woman that he struck at the beginning of the road re appeared.

"young man you have indeed changed, but to gain something from the lake you need to give up something as well." the old woman stays silent for a while after that ," i will grant you your wish if you can kill one more person." the woman starts to murmur magic words and then she summons out of the thin air someone identical to kintsugi , "this is you from back then at the beginning of the road, show me that you are worthy now of my blessing , show me what this small journey has taught you." the woman screams and then disappears into thin air.

kintsugi's copy cat attacks with the sword. His blows are powerful and relentless, yet his attacks are reckless. kinstsugi finds it hard to cope with his pace and ends up getting pined to a tree. 

"what happened to me, have i grown weaker, have i drank too much?" he starts to wonder"no, i care about my life now, i have something worth living for, then i'll do what i can to live, to be by her side,  to see her smile once more." 

kinstsugi runs at his copy cat and deflects the incoming attack and shoots the copy cat. blood doesn't fall everywhere like expected but the copy cat turns into fog and disappears.
"well done young man." the woman's voice echoes through the fog but she is nowhere to be seen."you started as a pathetic lost wanderer and ended up  as man who can continue on with his life, that is a gift for your efforts to find a new beginning and not just dreaming about it but for working to achieve it as well, if you haven't have taken the monks words you would have still ended up hating yourself and alone." 

the fog disperses at a certain place near the lake and saura is there asleep on the grass.