When He Wont Love You Back

You wait in line for your favorite movie out at the theater and then....when its your turn to buy tickets they are sold out. When you like a guy so much and hope he likes you. when he doesn't it hurts

When He Wont Love You Back

 

That feeling you get, on a Christmas Eve night

You wish and pray, that your morning is white

Ice on the trees, snow covers the ground

You want a white Christmas, but it never is found

 

In the season of summer, you work everyday

You get a day off, cross your fingers a pray

Not once have you gone, to the beach this year

But your only day off, rain hits your ear

 

The feeling you get, when Holdem is played

Your poker face strong, you wait for the trade

But low and behold, the cards that you get

Just put your earning, away for a debt

 

A white Christmas is not, the true meaning here

Or praying for sun, and the rain that you fear

It’s not about winning, a stupid card game

Its about love, and burning red flame

 

You try your best, to please this boy

The outcome you get, another dark ploy

You pray, wish, and yearn, his love is the same

The outcome however, burns out your red flame

 

 

 

 

 

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Reviews

[Mark D]

I really liked the idea/theme of this. The first stanza is brilliant, beautiful and perfectly worded.

I like the second stanza a lot as well but I'm not sure about the line "rain hits your ear". It seems a little bit forced to me. It could just be me though.... I really like that stanza regardless.

Third stanza is good as well and carries on the theme very well into the fourth which is quite brilliant.

I like the last stanza expect I think that you could improve the last line perhaps. It isn't as hard hitting as I think it could be and may be a syllabal or two long.

The title sort of gives the poem or message away as well too early. In your 4th Stanza you reveal that the poem is really about love but the reader has been acutely aware of this from the first line because of the title. I hope that makes sense.

Another really good poem which I enjoyed a lot. It certainly made me think. Well done, you def have a gift

[layla]

I'm sure everyone who has experienced love or even a crush can relate. this topic is most universal and I'm so happy you understood the meaning! Not many people have that gift mark. I can try and be cryptic but you always seem to capture the root of all my work! I love it :)

[Stanley Wilson]

this is a great poem full of angst and feeling shame the person never loved her back
i can relate to that as can everyone, loved it

[layla]

Thank you so much Stanley! :)