Dangerous Red

A dark love story

 

I moved far away, to make a new life

I met a nice guy, and now I’m his wife

I cook dinner for him, and fold all his clothes

A domestic I am, you know how it goes

 

I still hold a secret, he never will know

Two winters ago, I buried in snow

He was my husband, he never loved me

I wore the lock, and he held the key

 

The new-years party, at a friends house

He was drunk, and I wore a red blouse

The color I choose, for a reason indeed

The blending of reds, his head starts to bleed

 

A dark rocky road, planned to perfection

Drag his body not far, a small hidden section

I then leave the scene, and get in my car

I drive and I drive, park my car at a bar

 

I see this nice man, so sweet with a tie

My innocent look, I smile and sigh

we dated not long, he bought me a ring

We got engaged, and married in spring

 

10 months have passed, new-years eve is tonight

he sips on red wine, he’s close to my sight

my eyes on him still, as I put on my clothes

that dress is amazing, sweet color of rose

 

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Reviews

[Mark D]

Ahhhhh a dark and sinister little poem. Brilliant work.

Really really well written, maybe your best in that regard, with nothing seeming forced at all.

The blending of the reds was a great idea as the swiftness of the new affair! This made the lady even more scary!

Loved the little twist at the end. Very clever. You could write a good crime drama!

Totally great. I've had quite a magnificent adventure reading all your writing today! Wish I could do it all again!! Look forward very much to reading more of your work.

You are a special talent

[layla]

hahah the blending of red was actually put in place so the reader can understand that the reason she wears red on new years eve night is so when the body bleeds it blends into her red outfit. she wore red for a reason. haha I have enjoyed reading your reviews and am so lucky to have a met someone on here who is honest when need be and praises with such kind, encouraging words! Your pretty great. I hope to read more of your work. because you are such a beautiful person and a great new friend! :)

[zainul]

I read a second poem of Layla with lovely rhymes organized in nice stanzas.
Here she poses herself as a mysterious wife who might be the cause of death
of her first husband.Her innocent look, smile and sigh all helped her to get another man who may also face the same fate as the former one.
Amazing write!

[layla]

Well thankyou Sir! I enjoy it very much! thanks for the review!

[zainul]

You are welcome.
I love your rhymed poems.
I am very weak to them.
How are you interested for such type of poems?
Are you really from any Middle Eastern Country?

[layla]

i'm not sure why i love writing poetry with rhymes. Iv never never really ventured out i guess. Yes...I'm from Afghanistan. However, I was born in Iran.

[zainul]

Thanks for sharing.Well,this is my passion too. I am also not sure why i love writing poetry with rhymes.
Since you inherit the cultural tradition of both Afghanistan and Persia you
can write abut the rich literary treasures of these regions.
Cheers!