Decision Of life

how I was feeling and how I have been feeling for awhile now.It was confusion but releized I was feeling more and I have to make a decision.

 Life can be so very messed up.

Times I just want to give up.

Times I feel I have no peace.

Wondering if we're meant to be.

I try not to believe words people say.

They always seem to say the same thing.

I get so hurt it tears me apart.

I feel like I'm going to fall apart.

Life in general is hard enough.

It's hard enough to deal with your "stuff".

So I ask you "what's the deal?"

I've grown tired and I've had my fill.

My heart and soul feels so alone.

I feel I need to pick up and go.

My other half sounds just like my ex.

I should of realized this, picked up and left.

I'm to the point I don't give a damn.

It's either you trust and believe in me,

Or maybe it's time you set me be free.

All I want is happiness and peace.

I want to feel love as everyone needs.

I get tired of words being put in my mouth.

It makes me just want an escape to get out.

I know I'm a good woman.

I'd give the shirt off my back.

I would make someone happier,

You know this to be a fact.

I give my all even when it makes me weak.

I never give up so easily

Though I know this isn't meant to be.

I shouldn't feel like the spit under your shoe

Nor should I feel as the mold or mildew.

You weren't this way when we first met.

You showed me how important I was.

You once gave me respect.

I looked up to you now all has changed.

You swore you would never curse me with names

Now I realize how everything has changed.

All I want is a man who is true ,

One who appreciates all I do.

A man who will always love me true

I would bend over backwards.

I would give my all,

I just want and need a real man, thats all.

I can't change the past,

I know this for a fact.

I can only change my future to make me happier.

Hopefully next time it will last.

 

     

  

   

 

 

  

  

  

          

                   

          

 

 

 

 

 

 

                   

                 

                   

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

I can tell you put very much emotion into this piece, and for that I applaud you.

Relationships can make you or break you, if you let them. You should read my poem "End Result". I know exactly where you are coming from. Your cry out for help is evident and I know relationships can be easy as hell to get into and harder than hell to get out of. Somewhere, you need to pull strength out of yourself that you have never found, and do what makes YOU feel good. You may be lonely for awhile, but you know where happiness lies.

I appreciate your poem here and showing your feelings. Thanks for this.

[Ladysue]

I love that this is straight from your heart. Nothing speaks more beautifully!!!

[JiltedButterfly]

I like the mad flow of this. I love the spelling mistakes. I like that this is straight from the heart.

[holly]

I remember feeling very much like this in the 1980's and expressing those feelings pretty much the same way. The positives of writing flat out, straight to the point are that no one can misinterpret your meaning and also it helps the writer emotionally by releasing some of the tension. The negative is that it isn't art. Please understand that I'm not criticizing you, but I'm trying to be clear and helpful about your writing. I just wrote a poem several weeks ago that was a flat statement of grief. Poets that I respect pointed out to me that I could acheive the same end but do it more poetically but create images that hang together, or using narrative to tell the tale. All good advice. So I'm re-writing. You might try comparing your feelings to something in nature, or something in music and follow that image throughout the poem. Ask poets whose work you admire for help. Most of them will give it. Blessings to you.

[Staci Brown]

Life is a journey, filled with many obstacles as well as the joys. We create the world we choose to live in or not. Granted, i doubt you chose to enter an abusive relationship, but you do have the choice to move on and start anew available to you. No, it might not be an easy answer, even scary to face the future... However, no one deserves to be abused... May you find the answers you seek and the courage to take action...

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[Aileen]

wow powerfull. though I've never bin in a relashenship be4. but im in th same situation with my mother. someone who swares to never hurt. And they turn on u. hurt u and do everything they say they'd never do and they just did do it. no iodea y.
luv ya
Aileen

[Adrian K. Smith]

Of course, being me - I am going to have to disagree on some of the technicalities mentioned here and there in some of the reviews. Perhaps, that is simply because I am verbose and have a certain amount of poetry in almost everything that I do. While it is entirely up to you to make any changes you wish, I would have you consider this:

You are not talking about some pretty flower in a meadow on a sunny day.

You are talking about a heart, so alone - seeking that comfort it knows exists, only to find that it is always offered as an appetizer; but it is never the main course. So many relationships begin like this, as the person tries to be what the other wants. Eventually, they revert to themselves - leaving one or both parties to wonder just who they are with; for it is certainly not the person they fell in love with back when they were walking on clouds. As such, I am surprised this work holds together as well as it does - it shows the pain, I believe in a meshing of the feeling with the structure. What they see as defects, I did not even see until I read the other reviews; for as I read, I felt that kinship in pain - of failed relationships, and just wanting to have somebody who could love me for who I am so I could love them for who they are.

My words here are slightly detached, as I try intellectualize it all. Were I to think too much into my feelings on the matter, I would be a babbling sack of flesh pooled on the floor here next to my seat.

Love is worth the risk we take. It sounds dreary to say that eventually we may find the person who will love us for who we are, that we can do the same, that through communication and trust - that a wondrous foundation for eternal love can be formed. Yes, it may take many tries. That is almost cause for despair. But come now, can you not imagine the look in that person's eyes as they see you for who you are and love you in spite of yourself? My God, is that not worth chasing all of your life until it comes true? For me, I believe it is. I know it is. If I did not live in Florida, I would drive to the nearest mountain so I could scream it at the top of my lungs for all to hear. LOVE IS WORTH IT. I would do it from my balcony, but it would not be the same. I hope that saying it here, will help in some way. I need to splash some water on my face and go smoke a cigarette. Thank you for writing this. Be well.

[Justin Tobey]

I agree with Wildfleour. It's a great prose piece, which is a wonderful style, but removing those "extra" words will make it flow more smoothly, giving it more of the poetic style to match the rhyme scheme. I think you have a wonderful piece here, though. Excellent job. :)

[Wildfleour]

Karen, this reads like prose, but I think you want it to be a poem, so it needs to be structured like a poem, with "extra" words taken out like "and", "or", etc.

[emmajoy]

Opening your heart and telling how you feel is supremely honest, which also makes it sincere. Writing is cathartic, whether it's written just for yourself or to share to other people. You read the words, you see the words and know that they're yours and nobody can take them away.

How I wish I had a magic wand and could magic everyone's sadness away... it can't happen but I can and will say this is a wonderfully expressed piece of writing, with tears and wishes all mixed up - but, some time, the mix will separate.. you see.. it will.

God bless. Thank you for sharing, Karen.