A moms blessing

                             When two come together by the grace of God

                       Blessed with the love of family we'll always be strong.

                             As the two begin there lives as one,they thank God above.

                       As years move on they look up above with lots of love,

                            we prayed we would be blessed with a son.

                       Months went by and we found out a pleasant surprise.

                           His smile so sweet,his laugh such at peace.

                       His beautiful eyes so blue,it lit up the room.

                           Filled with such joy and happiness to that our dreams had finally came true.

                       He was taught right from wrong,he learned so much as the years went on.

                           He had his dads strength and knowledge,courage to

                        so smart and senitive to.

                           The love we feel could  never go away could never be replaced.

                       The love in our hearts will be strong and always as one.

                            Whenever the sun is bright and the sky is blue  

                            I know all the Angles are singing to.                                       

Reviews

[J. Hampton]

Karen


I enjoyed this feel-good ...spiritually on-point piece.
A breath of positivity and fresh air.
Nice internal rhyme .

a very nice piece...you might want to spell check this...and there are a few typos
but it dosnt detract from the heart from which it came

Blesssssssssssss

[Garrett Cook]

The positivity is wonderful. The light projected by your work is excellent, the only thing I would tell you is to dig deeper for images. Show don't tell. It's a clich�, but there's a reason it's a clich�, because it's good advice. Think about the nature of something as you examine it and express yourself, think what it's like, pinpoint how it feels. Also, Poeticpiers was definitely right. Examine the nuances of meter. Your feelings and your inner light deserve stronger expression and deserve for you to be the best instrument for them you can be.

[Janice Ann]

Wonderfully written. I love the heart filled words...and I know there are angels all around us singing!

Rock on Darlin!
Janice Ann

[Poeticpiers]

nice sentiments expressed in poetic prose one or two typos dads courage to should too

There is more to poetry than nice sentiments and well chosen words The essential difference between poetry and prose is meter.THis makes your words flow smoothly when read aloud,the acid test indeed.
I am an old fashioned formalist I write mainly in Iambic tetrameter ie 8 syllables to a line. A good source which will explain the different meters and forms is Lewis Turco's book of forms You can often pick up a used copy on Amazon for a few dollars.
If you are a writer you are compelled to write so its best to know the rules.If I can help feel free to ask ivor

[Ray Hamilton]

Blessed with a son, children are all a blessing
I have two boys myself, both grown and gone now
I enjoyed this write well done keep writing
Ray { Not a Poet }

[JR]

Well, well, well� you can really feel the love coming from this poem. As far as tone goes, I think you nailed it. It seemed consistent the entire way through, and it's touching. Everyone can connect with this in some fashion, because everyone is either in the same position as the speaker or, at some point, was the subject of the speaker's words.

That being said, there are some points that seem off�

Did you intend for this to rhyme? Maybe in an AABBCCDD scheme? You have incidental rhymes occasionally, like "above" and "love," but then long stretches of lines that don't rhyme. If you're going to rhyme, then work on your line endings. Personally, I wouldn't worry about rhyming� it constricts your flow.

I think in the line:

"Blessed with the love of family will always be strong"

you meant to say "we'll," right? At least, as I read it, I thought that was the more direct meaning than "will."

Perspective seems to be a bit of an issue here, too. You start with distance� "the two," seems to be a third person reference to the speaker and her other half. As the poem progresses, you move to the more direct, inclusive, first person perspective of "we." You either should pick one of the two and run with it (I would go with the more personal "we") or separate the first three lines in order to show a change from third to first person.

Repetition: as a general rule, avoid it like the clap. I'm not kidding here (well, maybe just a little). Using the word "God" twice in the first three lines is too much. I would take that and change up the language, "Lord," I don't know� something to cut down repetition.

Also, don't end lines on prepositions. It's like pulling the plug on the whole line and letting all the emotion out. Example:

"He became so smart and senitive to."

First of all, I don't think you meant "to," I think you meant to say "too," which is the same ending as the line above it (see note on repetition). But, saying you did mean "to," he was sensitive to what? Do you see what I mean? Ending on a weak word like "to" takes all the power from the line and drops it out because the brain's too busy trying to make the connection to a phrase that doesn't exist. Just re-word it and you'll be fine.

There are a few spelling errors you should look at, such as "curage," "senitive," etc. Just run a spell check and it'll grab all those out. Also, on your last line, I don't think, "I know all the angles are singing to," really fits, unless the child is really, really into Geometry. I think you meant "angels."

All in all, you've got a lot going on here. You have depth of emotion, which is very powerful� something you can tap into, and something that can't be taught. Work on the little things, hone your technique, and you'll be able to take this as far as your willing to let it go.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is a heartfelt write but it needs much editing by way of grammer, spelling and usage. I shall endeavor to help. In the second line you have continued the thought from the first line but " Blessed with love of family will always be strong" WHAT will always be strong or WHOM? You are missing part of the thought in the second sentence. In the 4th and 5th lines, you switch point of view from "they" to "we", that causes confusion to the reader. It is better to remain in one tense and one point of view throughout. "His laugh, such at peace" should be "so at peace" "filled with such joy and happiness to..." That "to" there should be "too" meaning "also". "Courage" is spelled incorrectly and so is "sensitive". You use the right "too" behind " his dads strength and courage" but then you lapse back in the next sentence and write "to" where you should have written "too" again. And last, but not least, you have spelled "angels" wrong in the last sentence. I love the thought behind the work but it does need cleaning up. I hope this review helps. God bless. F.

[Bill Grimes Jr.]

Hi Karen. Your poetry is filled with love, spirituality, and most importantly.....passion. So often, the best writing comes from one simple thought and blossoms from there. God has blessed you with inspiration from your children and family to trigger such poetic thoughts. I look forward to reading more my new friend.

Peace,

Bill

[Fran Marie]

A beautiful piece of writing with the deep expression of love so
wonderfully expressed~
THanks for sharing this lovely write~Fran Marie

[Belinda Rice]

I feel alot of love on this poem and I know were your coming from cause for years of having kids I always wanted to be blessed with a son and was blessed with three girls but as time went by I met a man that I loved and got pregnent and was so afarid that it was going to be another girl but I prayed and prayed and finily blessed with a baby boy with blue eyes..You spok the words so gracefuly and wonderfuly and I really like this alot I really do Using god in this poem and how you desired for what you wanted ,and god him self brought that to you is the biggest bleesing on the earth..You have a great passion to write and I hope to see more great job.....Belinda