Not Like This

I always dreamed those words I would hear

But not like this.

Not like this.

I always wished to be giddy with you near,

Acutely nervous,

Smiling, anxious.

I've hoped for the day for more than a year

When I'd get my fix

But not like this.

She says, "Now everyone knows!

It's all my fault; it's not fair,

But it's okay; I don't really care!"

Well, he cares enough for both of you to go!

You jerk! What's you aim?

You can't play like that; it's not your game!

It's unclear to me; are you friend or foe? 

You both try to be nice

Tried to be each other's friend

That is, until his feelings lend

To more to melt the ice.

He took a leap; at least grab his hand

Don't be surprised when he falls 

In his place, wouldn't you call?

You'd scream until you land.

A declaration of a feeling 

I had never found appealing

Until, that is, I met him,

Then rip it from me limb from limb

I don't want it! Who on Earth would?

That vulnerability wrapped in soot.

I don't feel the least bit okay

For you got what I want and threw it away!

I always dreamed those words I would hear

But not like this.

Not like this.

I always wished to be giddy with you near

Acutely nervous,

Smiling, anxious.

I've hoped for the day for more than a year

When I'd get my fix

But not like this.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism/feedback is much appreciated