"Give us a chance to survive!" they'd pleaded. He wasn't destiny's arbiter.
He was a maintenance man, a caretaker, fixing repairable breakdowns across space and time. He was about to leave when an unfamiliar hand gripped his arm. Steel-blue eyes pierced his soul.
"Fix it," she said. No plea, no cry, a demand.
"Sorry!"
"There's nothing you can do?"
He hesitated.
Before departing he manipulated their spaceship's life-support system. An act of mercy. They'd be asleep when destiny would strike. Some things couldn't be fixed, not even by history's housekeeper.
I like it should be made into a book or a sequel I am interested to see what he is trying to fix I understand that is the point. I have to say it brings me some disappointment that it is so short I however understand that is the goal so I shall go easy and just say good job.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much. Somewhere in my mind there's a whole series of novels lurking beneath this shor.. read moreThank you very much. Somewhere in my mind there's a whole series of novels lurking beneath this short glimpse, I'm not sure I'll ever finish it though ;-)
8 Years Ago
i make notes of my stories my book I hope to finish one day ;)
People want things their way and on their terms... but just how often does THAT really happen? You took the "unexpected" path ...nicely.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Chris for stopping by! :-)
When I wrote this I'd been thinking whether true merc.. read moreThank you Chris for stopping by! :-)
When I wrote this I'd been thinking whether true mercy is really what we'd want in such a situation... would false hope have been kinder? Hard to tell.
The beginning sounded so ordinary and unexciting, but then the end came and...Boom!!! Being this good at storytelling should be a crime:) You always manage to surprise the reader. You are a wizard of words!
Tell me the truth - do you really have no secret potion? :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Haha, other than perhaps far too much caffeine there's really no secret substance involved ;-)
This is really good. It grips you right away. I'm going to say it's Doctor Who. Hope you can spare some time to take a look at mine, I'm new here.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Haha, thank you & you're right of course, I just love Doctor Who and its premise :-) and of course I.. read moreHaha, thank you & you're right of course, I just love Doctor Who and its premise :-) and of course I'll gladly give you feedback on your work.
It's amazing what you can do in so few words. the desperation and sense of hopelessness is so vivid. yet another fantastic piece of writing.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Woohoo, thank you! Flash fiction is - at least to me - always a bit of a gamble, hard to decide if t.. read moreWoohoo, thank you! Flash fiction is - at least to me - always a bit of a gamble, hard to decide if the scarce descriptions are enough. So it's all the more joy when the story worked for the readers :-)
This is great! And the fact that you did it in just a few words is amazing! It is like there's a whole novel behind this words.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much Alondra! Actually in my head there is a whole novel hidden behind this scene but I.. read moreThank you so much Alondra! Actually in my head there is a whole novel hidden behind this scene but I doubt I'll ever get it finished :-)
9 Years Ago
You should try to! I know everyone here would love to read it.
Hi,
I'm a nerdy IT specialist in my forties, writing for fun and to keep my sanity. Feel free to friend me and to send me reading requests. I'll give you honest feedback and appreciate honesty in re.. more..