Dianne clutched his picture against
her chest. This time she wouldn't hesitate, she'd tell him how amazing he was,
how he had saved her life in so many ways and how much she loved him.
"Next!"
She stepped forward, her heart racing.
Wearing the same smile as in the
picture, he looked up. "Any dedication?"
"For Dianne," she quavered
and handed the print over.
He scribbled his name across, right
over his kind, gorgeous face. "There you go."
She looked at the photo; ink lines
criss-crossed his lips like sutures. "I…"
Wow...I am just speechless. Before reading this I used to believe that writing a story in few words is just meaningless because such story fails in conveying the emotions, but here you have done something amazing here and I would like to admire your writing abilities for that.
Well done,
I will be looking forward to read your other writings
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! Personally, I think that flash fiction is no excuse t.. read moreThank you very much for reading and reviewing! Personally, I think that flash fiction is no excuse to resort to telling instead of showing, but due to the word limitation it's always a gamble whether the emotions and actions make sense to the reader. Therefore, I'm always thrilled to hear that a story worked :-)
I suppose this situation has been repeated a million times. The fan infatuated with her idol, the idol thinking about how long till he can stop for the day - a blur of faces!
You've caught it well!
Regards, Alan
Wow...I am just speechless. Before reading this I used to believe that writing a story in few words is just meaningless because such story fails in conveying the emotions, but here you have done something amazing here and I would like to admire your writing abilities for that.
Well done,
I will be looking forward to read your other writings
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! Personally, I think that flash fiction is no excuse t.. read moreThank you very much for reading and reviewing! Personally, I think that flash fiction is no excuse to resort to telling instead of showing, but due to the word limitation it's always a gamble whether the emotions and actions make sense to the reader. Therefore, I'm always thrilled to hear that a story worked :-)
such a short short one that needs no addition at all. great last line.
I thought only men's talk. wait! that doesn't look right. ah got it! I thought only men stalk.
I could never ever manage to write a story in so few words. you've got the knack, girl!!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Jeez, you're making me blush :-) Thank you for your lovely comment.
And we sure do stalk, bu.. read moreJeez, you're making me blush :-) Thank you for your lovely comment.
And we sure do stalk, but I suspect women tend to be a bit more subtle about it. Or maybe not... hehe.
That economy of words that I really admire is really amped up here!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I'm gad you like it! 100 words is not much to work with, but it's a great exercise and quite a lot o.. read moreI'm gad you like it! 100 words is not much to work with, but it's a great exercise and quite a lot of fun :-)
A+!!!
You totally captured this moment. I love how in the first line, we get this fierce determination, but when the moment comes, it disappears. We have all been there before. Seriously, good job. I hope you win the contest!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much! The contest ended a few months ago and I made third place, but I'm perfectly ha.. read moreThank you very much! The contest ended a few months ago and I made third place, but I'm perfectly happy with that :-) Btw, great idea about the MicroBlips group, I'm definitely looking forward to more great flash fiction from you and the other members!
Heh-heh, okay, I guess she needs another chance. This is sweet--a very effective one hundred words. The reader can go beyond what you've written and imagine more failure but perhaps success for Dianne.
That's cool. It's so open to interpretation. It's a great piece of flash fiction. Looking forward to whats next.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much! Most likely my next publication will be a slightly wicked... sort of... fairy tal.. read moreThank you so much! Most likely my next publication will be a slightly wicked... sort of... fairy tale... needs approval from my beta reader first though, since he requested that kind of story :-)
I don't know how you do this! How are you able to tell so much with few words? I loved this, especially because I know that this is how it feels and I wouldn't have been able to describe it like this. Your words have power. I loved this!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you very much Alondra! But it's really not magic. I usually start out with a normal scene - mi.. read moreThank you very much Alondra! But it's really not magic. I usually start out with a normal scene - might be 300 words or more and then I cut, cut, cut, cut, cut until only the essential parts remain. Not every story can be told that way, but short emotional moments usually work quite well. If you'd like to try I currently have a 100 words contest open, so I'd be honored if you'd participate :-D
Hi,
I'm a nerdy IT specialist in my forties, writing for fun and to keep my sanity. Feel free to friend me and to send me reading requests. I'll give you honest feedback and appreciate honesty in re.. more..