A Final Note

I watched you go and I couldn't help but let the corners of my mouth inch up. You had been a constant in my life for so long that the feeling was exhilarating. I couldn't decide between a mere smile or a catapulting jump for joy. I chose neither. I ended up forcing my mouth to a line and I stared blankly. This is finally it. I'm finally free, I thought. No more wondering if you would approve, no more worrying that you'd be unhappy. I had really finally done it. Gotten rid of you and all the nonsense that tagged along in your shadow. You had hurt me and I had finally stood up. To you and for me. And now, it was just me. Alone. In the empty room. Staring. Happy? Yes... No, not fully there yet. Too scared to move and too surprised to react out loud. I began to realize how I was yet again over analyzing, and I told my mind to focus on something else, anything else. The weather, the smirk a cute boy had given me on the subway earlier, my cat pathetically moaning over the empty space in her dish. Nothing helped. I couldn't take my mind off you. I was a total chaotic mix of feeling- rational thoughts, and irrational, skipping heartbeats, and pulsating veins. Frozen and numb, nonetheless. Stuck in a double mirrored illusion, falling into a pit of my own scorned reality. I jolted out of my brain, when a knock came from the front door, and I realized they had figured it out, had figured me out, and that my psychoanalysis bullshit had all been a waste. I managed to push myself off and up from my heels and as I hit the vertical level, I felt looser and the corners of my lips did slip, and I let out a joyful, extensive laugh. It felt releasing, like everything inside was suddenly getting poured out in waves and waves. I continued to laugh and I looked down at the cold, hard object in my hands. It only took one and all I could feel was bliss. I knew it would be easy but not this easy. The button had melted behind my index finger, like it had been waiting for a little push all day. In the last second, I began to wonder who would attend my funeral and what they would say: kind, witty words, probably, half that were lies and half that were far from the truth. Or would their words be silent, just as they always had been, meaning everything and changing nothing. This was when I lost myself and I found myself, collapsing to the soaked wooden floorboards and becoming more than I had ever been.

Reviews

[Celeste]

This was actually quite morbid, but I loved how you described the events. Your descriptions were really vivid -- the reader could actually see what was happening, and at the same time feel what the narrator was feeling.

My only suggestion is that you break this up into multiple paragraphs so it just doesn't look like one big block of text.

Great job. Keep writing!

[Kristin]

I could really feel what was going on in the writing! It explained most parts well and used great imagery. I could tell how the writer felt and I could relate :) I would add a few more details here and there near the end and thats it!