Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

 

     Yuuin leads the children’s interrogation about my life and of Earth, and I find that everyone in the lodge is pretending to not be listening so intently. I’m still not fluent in their language, but I find that I’ve been learning remarkably fast and the pronunciation hasn’t been difficult either, surprisingly. Back in high school I had to switch from Spanish to French because I managed to make every word sound Asian. I would have taken Japanese and saved myself the trouble, but it wasn’t offered. Such was life back then. The children always laugh at my stories, whether they’re funny or not. I seem to be a stand up comedian to them.

     Today they’ve been especially inquisitive, with Yuuin’s guidance. That child probably knows that I’m nervous about Fierdna’s return from the Council meeting. He’s far too perceptive for a child, but it’s that very quality that makes him shine so brightly.

     The whole clan has actually been quite kind to me. I feel welcome here and I’ve done my best to help with what chores I can, usually with cleaning and preparing food. I’ve learned that even the children here have to earn their keep. This lifestyle is simple, but it’s a relief from the complexities of Earth’s societies. I do still find myself yearning for adventure though. I’ve asked Ivernis to explain this world’s geography to me in the meantime.

     I was right in thinking it was a small world, and we are indeed located to the far north. I beam with the satisfaction of being right. It feels good, really good. Ivernis gives me a puzzled face but resumes the lesson. I learn that the clans are given territory based on what their inner animal can handle. Nearby us there are hares, deer, eagles, fox, bears, etc. I also learn that on this world, which they call Puierdu, exists a single city, called Yeir, where several types of Animos live together. I ask why there is only one city, what clans live there, where it’s located, what the climate is like, if I can see it. I seriously want to go. It sounds like an adventure if ever there was one.

     Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to leave SnowCat territory, at least not until the Council has decided what to do with me. Fierdna will be back tomorrow, and thinking of her, I ask to visit the lifespring, the sacred ground where I originally arrived in this world. The look of surprise on Ivernis’ face is enough to make me glad I asked. He can be way too serious most of the time. I don’t think I’ve seen him smile much at all. Any bit of playfulness seems to have left with his fiancé.

     After some contemplation, Ivernis finally responds. “I’ll have someone take you, but you can’t stay past sunset. Why do you wish to go?” “Well, it’s where everything started. Maybe I’ll find my own answers there. Actually, I’ve been thinking that I should be able to have some say in this Grand Council thing. I saw Varterus too after all, even if it was a dream. Doesn’t that make me God Touched? I thought everyone who was God Touched got to be on the Council.” That gets me a look of astonishment from him. Honestly, I’m not quite sure why no one thought of that before. It seems obvious now. He thinks hard and speaks carefully, “I believe you have been Touched by Varterus, but you still cannot join the Council without their blessing. They must seek answers from Him, on whether you were truly brought here by Him, or by one of your own gods. They will seek to know if it is our God that protects you or another. Until they know, they will not risk the safety of the citizens of this world.”

     “So then, shouldn’t I be in prison?” “Fierdna trusts me to keep you well guarded.” “But you don’t keep guards on me 24/7 anymore.” “I know you aren’t a threat.” “But don’t you need to wait for this Council to decide whether or not I’m a threat?” “No, I don’t! I am leader of this clan, and I will protect them from all dangers. As leader I deem that you are no threat. So you don’t forget again, know that the Council makes some laws so that life on this world can continue, otherwise, Clan Leaders are the ultimate authority within their own clan.” With that he leaves and a guard shortly comes to take me to the lifespring. I guess I was being a bit cheeky. I just don’t like this Grand Council at all, but I suppose they’re just being cautious. It probably isn’t everyday that someone magically appears from another world.

I spend a good hour sitting in the steam of the hot spring, or rather, lifespring. It really is a shame that it’s a crime to bathe in it. The steam is only tolerable nude, which I am, since the guard is still at the entrance to the cave, or temple. He must trust that I won’t go into the water. Surrounded by steam I ask questions of the God and talk to Him, sometimes aloud and sometimes in my head. I don’t hear any voices, I don’t get any dreams or visions, but somehow, things just feel… right, like this is a good thing that has happened, like I’m doing what I should.

     It’s difficult to describe actually. I’ve always thought life was hard at best, terrifying at worst. My happiest daydreams have been of me dying, in all sorts of ways. In them I would always think that it’s finally over, I don’t have to worry anymore. But right now, I feel like there simply isn’t anything to worry about. I feel so sure, so happy, and even though I don’t know what the future will bring, it’s okay. It feels as though the cosmic force of the universe is embracing me, giving me strength, guidance, happiness. This isn’t just euphoria. I’m simply glad to be alive, a feeling I have never encountered before. I cry tears of joy, I say my thank yous to Varterus, just in case this was brought on by Him, and I finally go, filled with the confidence that I’m on the right path, when once I had felt so directionless and lost. Even if it’s hard, I want to push through, and I will. I have never felt so powerful before.

     I return to the house, my guard leaves. The sun is setting, and I don’t want to miss dinner, so I head out once more. Tonight, at the lodge, the adults muster up the bravery to ask me questions of their own, and at some point, I’m asked to sing. I flush, say I can’t and they coax me on filling me with liquors similar to wine and beer. Finally, I give in, and I choose to sing in Japanese. This way, not even Ivernis will know what the words mean, in case they think the song is silly. The song I choose goes up and down quite a lot, but after the first verse I get really into it, and before I know it, I’m being cheered on. The whole night continues mirthfully, and we find ourselves retiring later than usual, but it was so much fun. I can’t remember the last time I had fun. It feels like home.

     When everyone does finally go home, they’re all pretty drunk, but still filled with merriment. I’m especially drunk and I make a mental note of these people’s tolerance. I won’t ever try to keep up with them again. Ivernis kindly offers to take me home. It must be pretty obvious that I’m not handling my liquor so well. The snowy outdoors is a blur and I’m sitting by the fire in the blink of an eye. Water, I need water, or else I’ll wake up with a killer hangover. I do NOT want a hangover. I ask for it, Ivernis fetches it. He’s too kind. He helps me drink so I don’t spill the glass. And then I hear shouting. High-pitched shrieks actually. I don’t know what’s going on.

     I try to turn my spinning head and I see a little boy, Yuuin. He’s crouching, and screaming. Ivernis is too. They look ready to attack each other, but even drunk I can see that Ivernis seems exasperated. He doesn’t want to fight a little boy. Understandable, and kudos to him. Yuuin leaps anyways, I hear my name several times within all the screaming. Just what is going on? I shake away the drunkenness. I should really stop this, but at the same time, I don’t want to make things worse by getting injured. I don’t know what to do and my tiny little heart is fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird. What to do what to do. I stand up, but now Yuuin isn’t there. It’s hard to see, things are so blurry, but there is definitely blood, Ivernis’ blood, and he’s wrestling a giant… wildcat? It’s a snow leopard with intensely glowing blue eyes. Didn’t Yuuin have blue eyes? My brain isn’t quite up to its usual speed, but then I remember, this is SnowCat territory. Ivernis said his people have the characteristics of a mountain dwelling wildcat. They’re not human, can they change into animals?

     For both their sakes I truly hope I’m dreaming this time, but I know now that things here have a tendency of actually happening. Curses. Now I’m the one that’s shrieking. “Stop! STOP!!” I’m crying. Jeez, I can be really dramatic, or maybe just emotional. “Please, stop fighting.” Great, now I’m sobbing. It seems to get their attention though. I perk right up. Now human and wildcat are both staring, glaring?, at me. “What the hell is going on?” I sound so exasperated. No one answers, but Ivernis moves quick as lightning and the next thing the I know the poor, ferocious wildcat is tied and bound under several layers of cloth.

     I try my question again, my voice more firm, “Ivernis, what is going on here? What just happened?!” All I get in response is, ”He’s changed. Get your cloak.” He rushes out of the house. I grab my cloak and follow, but he’s already gone. Now horns are blowing and boy are they loud. Ivernis is back. I try yet again. “What’s happened?” He looks at me with the most pained expression I’ve ever seen on a man. It makes me shrink back and suddenly I feel really, really bad, and I don’t quite know why. “Miya, he’s gone. Yuuin is gone. This could go badly, you should stand behind me.” He says this as if it’s all understandable, even though it isn’t. I stand behind him anyways and everyone in the entire clan gathers at the house. Just what the hell is going on? The atmosphere is tense and serious.

     I don’t like this, not one bit. They talk but I’m too stuck in my head to hear and by the time I look up, I find that I’m crouching in the snow with my backside resting on the heels of my feet. I stand back up. The whole thing has sobered me up and my brain is finally up and running. “What’s happened to Yuuin?” my voice is barely a whisper, but everyone hears. I’m speaking in Animos. It’s the kitchen lady, Kaeliem who answers. “Sweetheart, he’s changed into the other form. You may not understand, but our species no longer has the ability to change freely at will. That boy is trapped as a beast forever now.” This new bit of information sinks in. They used to be something like shapeshifters/werewolf things, but they can’t switch back and forth anymore for some reason. Yuuin changed, so he can’t change back. “How did Yuuin change? I don’t understand why this happened to begin with. What will happen to him?” I’m crying. I’m terrified for that bright, darling boy I love so much.

     Yes, I realize I love him. I haven’t been here long, I don’t know anyone else very much at all, but I feel like Yuuin is the best child I’ve ever met. If I had a child, I’d want him or her to be like Yuuin. He’s already become like family to me. I’m tearing up again. Ivernis talks this time. “Yuuin came to see if you were okay, after all of that drink. He saw me close to you and thought I was taking advantage of you. He was angry and lost control over himself and his emotions, which has become taboo here on this world. He knew better, he wasn’t the one who had too much drink.” He says this as if he doesn’t want me blaming myself. Yuuin’s parents are crying, they won’t look at me. I can’t seem to find much fault with myself, but I do find it in Ivernis.

     These days I’ve spent here I’ve learned that the people here have an acute sense of hearing, smell, and vision, as well as a sort of sixth sense, just like a cat. He would’ve heard Yuuin coming into the house. Who cares if I spilt some water? He should’ve attended to the child who was out late at night on his own. I can’t help but feel a little at fault though. If I hadn’t been so drunk, he wouldn’t have checked up on me. If I hadn’t gotten so close with him at all this wouldn’t have happened. I try to speak, to find my voice. “What happens to Yuuin now?”

     No one looks at me. I try to imagine the worst. They kill wild animals. Would they eat him? They said they’re not cannibals, but right now I’m utterly horrified. I don’t realize I’m taking several steps backwards until I’ve done it. Ivernis’ face goes from one of sorrow to one of stoicness. “Miya, each clan has its own penalty for shapeshifting. The SnowCats live in a harsh land with little food. We cannot allow a competitor to roam our lands and take our kills. All within our clan know that to change is death. We will, of course, give the body a proper burial. We aren’t animals.” That last sentence is said for my sake. I must have a horrified, disgusted look on my face.

     I beg, I plead with them not to do it. How do they know he can’t change back? He tells me that in the history of this world, it’s never happened. Since they came to this world, they haven’t changed back. I’m too distraught to seek new information on this front. They can’t kill Yuuin, they can’t. I decide then and there that I won’t let them. Maybe this is why I’m here. I feel that I can, that I have to save Yuuin’s life. He isn’t an animal. He’s my friend, a precious little boy who became the first family I’ve ever known. I won’t let him die.

     I tell them stories about my own world, about how we capture wild animals, put them into zoos. I have to explain what a zoo is, what domestication is. I try to convince them that it is possible to train a wild animal to be tame, even if it does break the creature’s spirit. I just want Yuuin to live. I have never defended life so strongly than in this moment, and right now, it is everything. I convince them that their own God sent me here for a reason, gave life to Yuuin for a reason. I try any line of reasoning, any trick I can. Finally, an exhausted Ivernis tells me that I should return to the house. The clan must decide what to do.

     I leave, and I know then that Ivernis does not consider me part of this clan. I try to listen to the rest of their meeting as best as I can. I remember that none of the faces I’d seen held hope, not even those of Yuuin’s parents. They never once begged with me on his behalf. I hear something like a funeral chant outside. So they’ve decided. I run to the living room where Yuuin is still bound and struggling. I remove the cloth from his face and he stills when he sees me. “Yuuin, do you recognize me?” I’m crying, and pleading with him to be aware, his best quality. The little snow leopard lets out a whine and his eyes still look human, err, Animos. “Yuuin, I can’t stay here, and neither can you. I’m going to leave. Do you understand? Please come with me, nod if you understand me.” The little cat moves its head up and down, and relief washes through me. He isn’t a wild animal. He’s still in there and he can be saved.

     I untie him, confident that I won’t be mauled to death, but still willing to take the chance that’s there. I can’t let this boy, this creature die. He did nothing wrong. He doesn’t deserve death and I won’t let it happen. Yuuin shakes off the rest of the cloth and rope and I run to the nearest back window, opening it. I tell him, “You need to jump through. I’ll try to lift you if I can.” He crouches, and leaps gracefully through and I clamber after him trying not to make a sound. It has begun to snow and I thank Varterus, just in case it’s His doing. The snow will cover our tracks. I remember the map I’d been shown before, and I kind of know where the nearest clan resides. Let’s hope we get there in one piece.