an ALARMING call!

How a phone call overturned an entire evening.

One fine evening when I was in my full swing of rejuvenating mode, this mobile of mine I so wish had not rung. It’s so annoying especially when it is a ‘herbal facial’ moment and you have to pop out an eye to check who is the culprit. As I received this call unwillingly (had to, as it showed ‘hubby darling’ on the screen) my heart sank with every word he conveyed to me. No, no its no melodrama coming over ahead, it is an award winning story saying ‘How rejuvenation turned into a 100 mile run’.

In a sober and calm voice I said -‘hello!‘

Hubby �" ‘Hi honey. Really sorry to inform you so late that I have few corporate clients coming home tonight at 8 for dinner (my heart sinking ). Since they have heard how wonderful a cook you are, they wanted to grab over your hand made grub (my heart literally drowned). I was thinking of how about a super delicious butter chicken?’ (The moment he finished speaking, I had almost fallen down the spa bed)

Me : umm..um.. how many of them you said hubby??

Hubby : Not too many, I guess 10 of them.

Me(with raised eyebrow) : aha !! yeah not too many (grrrrrr....). sure hubby. See you tonight with them.

As I turned my glimpse on my watch, it showed 5.30 pm. An already raised eyebrow rose higher, as much as the little brow could. I ran in the washroom and wiped my half glowing face (half attended with facial) with the nervous hands and barged outside the parlour. When I had not even reached half way to my car, I heard a girl approaching me and sniffing like a dog. The moment I turned back, I found it was my parlour girl whom I had forgot to pay. Putting my hand inside my handbag in search of money, I was so much in rush that i was even ready to give her five thousand instead of five hundred until I realized that it was only a damn facial and not a bridal package (lol).

Time has hardly been polite with me as it always keeps running from my hands. I am so much used to that but today unfortunately it was flying and cruel to its hilt. As I opened my car to sit , I bumped into the door and hurt my nose in the front and my bum behind. I had never been so pissed with my hubby before this day. To my amazement, the chicken wala was in full bloom of his business and it seemed it was just ‘his day’. Bumping into few of them, I tried to reach him but all in vain. Every person surrounding the chicken wala had surprisingly become a true Indian citizen with ‘queue’ rules and 

terms.

I had no other choice but to wait and curse the clients . Blabbering and muttering to myself, I overheard a man screaming on the chicken seller. I had no clue what the fight was all about but it meant a delay of ‘5 more minutes’ which seemed more precious than diamonds to me. (wow ! diamonds.. but shh shh I have no time to think about them right now).

At every passing second, I checked my watch and time ,as I said, kept on flying. At last, it was my turn to buy the ‘so much desirable’ chicken for the ‘so very annoying’ clients. This time I kept my calm and counted the cash just upto the mark. (intelligent Me)

Driving back home, I could imagine eleven faces relishing the chicken legs and bones with their tongues out , ten of them were the clients ofcourse and how to forget the eleventh one, my hubby DARLING.. (arghhhh...). Their wide opened eyes enjoying every bit of it including the burps (yuckssss). It brought me back to the reality and all I could see ahead was a huge cow in the midst of the road wagging its tail. Now from where did it come. Oh lord ! for heaven’s sake, move aside. But our mother cow was in a ‘fashion show’ spirits. Taking every step in full glory and flaunting its tail all the more. ‘Please’ I requested her as if she heard me, but whatever, I managed to drive ahead as she took the roadside. ‘On a day like today’ when everything was tipsy turvy, the best was yet to come. I had forgotten that my servant was enjoying his holiday on this very D day. In no time, I washed the chicken pieces and started cutting the onions. As I peeled each onion, my watery eyes envied my servant and his fiancé spending time with each other in a movie and gifting all the slogging to me. (Every dog has his day..I had finally believed).

Coming out of my imaginary world, I finally started cooking. Everything in this world can be avoided but these CLOCKS!!! Perfect time for the duck to quack 7 times in my alarm clock and taking my blood pressure on its top. 7 pm and the cooking had just started. Well, my hands geared up their speed. The only thing left was the gas burner blowing off just at the right time. ‘Congratulations’ is what I said to myself. The best part was I didn’t know how to change the regulator. Started trying and after few unsuccessful trials, had to call my fat tummy neighbour . She walked like a buffalo from her home to mine taking her own good time. The clock kept reminding me the time which was now 7.15 pm.

The most hilarious part was her bloated paunch kissing the cylinder when she was fixing up the regulator(LOL). Well, keeping all the jokes apart, a huge thanks to her for doing that and the cooking continued. I had already had more than enough for the day and my brains started dreaming of a spicy red gravy chicken served on the table. Oops !Its a curse to be a Piscean at times. Gosh! This day dreaming habit will ruin me some day as it had already ruined pink onions to brown. They made my eye balls wider and my heart pounded. Took a deep breath as God saved me and it was not a big loss. It is always believed that haste makes waste and I had a challenge of cooking in haste and making it the best. I swore to myself that I would stop dreaming from this day onwards. Anyways, let us concentrate on chicken and keep the promises and resolutions for the next day. As I finished washing and cutting tomatoes, it was the grinder’s turn to act smart. It was adamant that it would not work.

The only thought that came in my mind was banging the head on the wall. This was not enough and my mobile started ringing. I didn’t pay heed and it didn’t stop. The battle was on and I finally had to put off the guards and receive the call. Who else it can be other than this hubby DARLING (grrrr....)??? I have no words to describe how I curbed my anger and frustration. Wherein one hand trying to repair the grinder, the other busy in stirring the onions and chicken, mobile was stuck between the shoulder and my ear. The most hapless situation possible !!!

Finally got over with two minutes of tweety and cheesy talks, and programmed my brains once again on the over smart grinder. This time it was a win for me and it started its loud noise and churned the tomatoes. It was again reminded that its 7.30 pm by the most loyal CLOCKS. The long awaited onions ultimately met tomatoes in the pan (like love birds).

This hustle and bustle was about to get over (as I thought so) when my speedy hands sprinkled more salt than required. I assumed that would be excused by the guests when shortly my mind took over my ‘sympathy longing’ heart and started working over- time to make amends. A little bit more of tomatoes would do?? No, no how about some more water?? That would change the consistency but. OMG! I need a solution to it. Alas! Sharp minds can work wonders. Butter chicken was adorned with plenty of butter already but some more of it would do no harm. Right!!!

‘Butter special butter chicken’ I call it still (ha ha ha). How to forget the ducks??? Yes, they did quack 8 times and the feast was ready with its butter and spices. I had yet to dress myself and the house. The running increased and every honk of the car brought the clients’ faces near me. More than a jaded worker I appeared to myself in the mirror. The red dress with a sleek slip on gave me a new life. As I was busy admiring myself , the cars honked and this time there was no imagination .

I had no time to do the house but still took advantage of the last 5 minutes. I am so pleased with manufacturers of handy broom sticks with their coloured furs. They work miraculously as they did in those ‘only 5 minutes’.

My heart had started beating at its normal pace and hands were given the rest finally. As far as I am concerned, my smile took over the lack of make up on my face and a warm smile by the ‘so very annoying clients’ did the rest of the job. They were now the most welcomed guests and last, but not the least, hubbies can never be blamed.

A ‘ never to be forgotten’ day finally took a good shape. Not to miss, the giant like clients hogged crazily , praising my culinary skills with every chicken leg bite. Yeah I know, all is well that ends well, but from that very day my hubby makes sure his clients enjoy their butter chicken in five star hotels. (lol)

Reviews

[Clayton Bardwell]

This was fun! Your sentence structure is new to me and I must say; I love it. The cadence of the piece was fast. I felt like I was there with you hurrying through your chores. I wanted to give Hubby an earful but I could tell you would handle that at the proper moment.