No title yet

Sunrise, the way that it can mesmerize,
those who know its beauty realize
its worth sustained through real eyes

Vulgarity, obfuscates all clarity
our foolery fosters parody
when will we fear this malady?

In dire need of an epiphany
to show us what we need to see
intellect trumps simplicity
technology never was the key

I want it to let go of me
this false sense of reality
is not what it's supposed to be
it governs all mentality

Violently, silently
killing our society
peculating our ipseity
what is left for all posterity?

Reviews

[emipoemi]

I have no words.....my voice is in my awe!! Fan-tas-tic!! Well done!

[Polymath Chameleon]

Love your word choice and the tone. So nice..
Maybe a title could be "insidious" or "humanity blind" or "obstruction"

[Arsh]

Sounds good. Yea.. the reality`s been treated wrong by the fantasy.. isn`t it? And, the reason of its violence`s "Love" cause, the love`s being betrayed by some wicked soul which make the good ones as bad as its agony. Very nice and deep imagery!

[Dez H.]

Yo I like the way u put ur words together like Lego's ms lady. This is deep I can't wait to see wut else u got n u. Good stuff shorty

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

Thanks! I'm all about using words to build new thoughts! I like your analogy haha

[Zakari Schmidt]

My title would be
"The late worm gets the bird"
Or something of that nature, I love the theme of your poem and the way it was delivered.

This is a highly intelligent, captivating poem Kaitlyn,
I look forward to reading more of your work :)
I feel similar to thoughts expressed in your writing

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

Thank you very much! I like that title! I'll have to check out your writing!

[Mahlo Metsys]

I'm absolutely in love with the vocabulary of this poem. Especially in combination with the rhyming and tone. This poem is really something special, and I couldn't agree more with the message. Great work.

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

Wow I don't know what to say. I am so touched thank you! I am becoming more aware of my writing style and I tend to want to right melodically. Thank you for your kind words.

[MomzillaNC]

It does seem in our unending news cycle, connected everywhere but connecting with no one, media inundated lives that we, as a people, as individuals are being lost. The repetitiveness of so many lines with the same rhyme scheme seems to drive home the them that ours is becoming this ear-bleeding rhythm of our society of an ever increasing minutia of mindless pap.

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

Definitely what I was hoping to accomplish with the use of heavy rhyme. Thank you for your thoughts!

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. I wrote on this them as well, in my poem "a new god, Technology"

[Delmar Cooper]

I like rhyme as much as the next fellow but I was a little put off by the beat induced when every end rhyme in a stanza is the same. I got over it. Suggest you decide if the poem means its is beauty or its beauty in line two and the same about worth in line three. A matter of an apostrophe or two or none.

I enjoyed reading your poem. I wasn't doing much when I came upon it, just sitting back peculating my ipsity.

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

This is why we can't rely on technology haha the stupid autocorrect put an apostrophe. Thank you for pointing it out as well as your constructive criticism! It is so helpful and I greatly appreciate it. I will consider this as I go into revision!

[Gracie]

really good love the last 4 lines!

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

Thank you :)

[Justin]

that was really great :) it tells a great story in short form :)

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

Thank you both very much:)

[Justin]

your welcome, i cant wait to read the rest of your material :)

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

Thank you all so much for your honest and great criticism! I truly appreciate it!

[Justin]

your welcome, that is what friends are for :) anything i can do to help u on your writing i will :)

[Kaitlyn Polcini]

Likewise!:)

[Justin]

:) hope whenever you have time, can you please check out my material :)