Self-Proclaimed

About someone I knew when I lived in Utah. Just a little snippet of my life at the time. I liked to dramatize my experiences as a writer, though I didn't have to stretch anything. My life then was very dramatic.

"Welcome to Mormon suburbia." Derek said upon opening the car door to tell me I was to stay with him. He was giving me a place to stay. I was so grateful.

His mother looked kindly on me as one in need. I had seen her before; a gaunt, long-limbed woman, elegantly bird-like with a small voice. Surely once beautiful, with crows feet and many wrinkles now encroaching on her still thriving noticability. She was at the door when I came in, exclaiming on how tired I must be, which indeed I was, and sending me to the bed in the basement.

And so I slept. In the cold, cold basement on the generously hard bed, my heart lifted in gratitude for the space.

 

Derek has two noticable things about him. The first is his eyes. Chalky blue-gray eyes set deep and mysterious under his brows, with dark eyelashes sweeping over them. They're framed by thick, tan skin and silvery black-brown hair. The second thing to notice, his his smell. As I sat where he sleeps, the fragrance lingered in the air. He wears a cool, blue, masculine smell. Even his breath is appealing. Even his sweat is pleasing to take in. But that is his body. His personality is not so enchanting.

 

A conversation with Derek is full of deep unnerving stares and dramatic phrases, soul-stripping comments and smiles at awkward times. He praises himself to no end, explaining unceasingly how he is the only one who knows such and such well enough. He is here to save me, a gift to the world, in his dashing physical form and brilliance of spirit and mind.

He is a self-proclaimed angel.

 

 

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

Ah yes, the self-proclaimed angels. I have met a few in my lifetime. Oddly they didn't' manage to save me or cure all my problems. Perhaps I just didn't believe in them enough :D
Nicely written recount.

[Tim H]

Interesting character study. It says as much about the narrator as the intended subject. While many of the physical attributes of Derek are described, the personality is told. Perhaps it might be a good idea to reveal Derek's personality through dialogue with the narrator.

[Nick Erickson]

I had to laugh at this one too, for I myself have met some saving angels in my lifetime - though left them disappointed and teary eyed as I kept on going.... well done.